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My breath became ragged as I jumped out of a car and made my way inside the apartment building.
After Ramana or Leticia ran out of a shop I tried to got after her but she was nowhere to find. Viktor didn't say anything about where she lives and Marino was telling me to let her be.
But I couldn't, something in me wanted her. Wanted her close to me, but she was not nearby. So the next thing I know was for me to jump in the car leaving confused and angry Marino left behind on the streets while I speeded down the road towards the building in front of me.
Getting into the building I sprinted up the stairs not having the time to wait for an elevator. My legs were carrying me to the top floor where stood the door of my apartment.
I don't spend much time here, because mostly I would be in the family house with the rest of them, only when they are not there I would sleep and be here. There is a lot of memories in this apartment that like to hunt me.
Clenching my jaw I stepped into the apartment feeling the cold air hit my face. I didn't turn the heater on, and that's fine. I need something to cool down my temper now.
Maybe this is not exactly what could do the job properly but it will do something.
Shutting the door close I paced over the apartment feeling the anger burn in me. 'Why is she here? Why now? Why when I finally even for a single second started to feel better? Better about her leaving. Why did she leave in the first place? Why- why- why-'
The questions were making me feel suffocated and it became to start to be hard to breathe. My hands started to shake as I stepped closer to the window and pulled it open. "I need air." I mumbled under my breath "I just need air."
Closing my eyes I took deep breaths trying to calm myself down but all it did was nothing.
It doesn't help at all.
I sucked my bottom lip in and pressed my teeth against it hard trying to suppress the scream that threatened to spill.
Turning to look at the apartment my eyes swirled around the living room, the same living room in which we should have spend our time together.
"WHY?" I roared throwing the lamp that was next to my hand to the nearest wall, watching it shatter all over the floor. A laugh broke through my lips as I watched pieces on the floor.
'Just like my heart.'
Breaking the lamp give me some kind of satisfaction that the next thing I know was for me to turn the whole apartment upside down, breaking almost all of it.
My breathing came to normalcy and I turned towards the table. The only one that I didn't decide to break.
Getting in front of it I sunk on my knees feeling my legs give out from underneath me.
