The Tale of Two Crackheads

The totally not suspiciously quick arrival at the cottagecore valley

Cam and Maggie gazed in wonder at the landscape before them. Colorful butterflies and fat honeybees were fluttering and buzzing around stalks of lavender and vibrant wildflowers. The tall grass partially concealing a cozy stone house added to the cottagecore effect, along with a patch of wild strawberries nearby.

"My name is Michael with a 'b' and I've been afraid of insects my whole life," Maggie muttered under her breath, as Cam somehow fell even deeper in love with her.

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Barging their way into the stone cottage, Cam yelled, "THIS HOUSE IS OURS NOW," as Maggie t-posed to assert dominance.

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Cam skipped out of the bathroom dressed in one of the many cottagecore dresses she had brought along in her neon green backpack. The pale green fabric brought out her bright emerald eyes, and the white collar and cuffs on the dress gave her an old-fashioned air.

"Why, hello, darling," Cam warbled in a grandma's falsetto while donning a pair of spectacles from nowhere, "I made cookies!" 

Maggie burst out laughing, and asked, "Where did you even get those glasses?"

"From my magical inter-dimensional storage area, of course!" Cam replied with an all-knowing grin. After a few moments of silence, the two girls busted into laughter again.

"Say, do you have any spare dresses?" Maggie questioned while wiping away her tears of laughter. "I want to dress up, too."

"Away with ye, stinky skinny jeans! Behold, the dress!" Cam exclaimed, holding up a similar dress to hers. "Thy violet eyes shalt bring-eth out-eth the purple in-eth thy dress!"

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Maggie and Cam sat down in the swing-sofa-thing on the porch. They had found a pitcher of lemonade in a fridge and wanted to drink it in a suitable environment.

"Could you pass the lemonade?" Maggie asked politely in a fake British accent as she held out her tall glass.

"Oh, shoot, I forgot to bring the pitcher outside."