OBX: An Outer Banks Story | Season 1

Episode 8

I've been standing down the street from Sarah's for more than 20 minutes now. I was going to come early and help set up. But when I got down the street I found myself stopping. I got off my bike and have been standing here since. I can see the house in the distance.

"Hey." I jump when I hear Sarah's voice.

"Hey." I turn to see her and John B in his van next to me.

"You comin'?" John is looking good as always.

"Yeah. Be there in a minute."

They both smile and continue driving. I stand there for another three or four minutes before getting back on my bike. When I park my bike by the dock I can see everyone on the boat. They're all smiling, talking, and relaxed. Some part of me doesn't want to go near it. Doesn't want to destroy their joy. Then Sarah pops out from behind me with a bag of chips.

"You good?"

"Totally. I feel crippling anxiety and on top of it all, I have a massive headache. It's all good" We both laugh.

"So... I just wanted to tell you that JJ isn't coming."

"Oh..."

"He texted saying he wasn't feeling well." Sure...

"Ok."

"It's fine. Once you talk to everyone else he'll jump on board."

"Yeah."

"See you up there. Everyone's excited to see you."

Sarah runs off and I find my body frozen. What if JJ doesn't ever want to see me again? What if the others agree with him? Is this the wrong move? Will this just push them all further away? Will I ever be able to make friends again? Am I too messed up? Should I start learning how to knit? Maybe gardening?

"Hey, weirdo!" I hear from far away and turn to see Rafe standing outside the house. "Go." He laughs at me and walks into the house.

I repeat it in my head. Go. Again. Go. Go. Go. I step forward. Go. I start to breathe. Go. Go. I step onto the boat. Everyone immediately turns to me. Most of them smile, Taylor still looks like she did that night, afraid.

"Hey." Every part of my body is shaking.

"Hey." They all say weird at different times on different levels ranging from excited to scared.

"I'm going to be completely honest with you guys and let you know that right now I am scared to death about this. My heart feels like it's about to jump out of my chest and I'm this close to peeing my pants."

"Oh. Okay." John B says and we all laugh a little, lightening the mood a little.

"I'm also going to be completely honest about everything else. The other day..." I look at them all looking at me, the complete attention freaks me out. "Wow, I really should've written some note cards. I have someone forgot my entire life with a single look from all of you." I nervously laugh and they either laugh because they think it's funny or to just make me feel better. "No, but really, I'm so so so so so so sorry. I can't say it enough. Well, I could, but then I might eventually die from dehydration." I don't know why I'm trying to crack jokes right now.

"Parker." Sarah looks to me to breathe.

"Thanks. So I was trying to figure out where to begin this... story per se. And I guess the easiest way is to just start when I was five. I would say that's the time it began. It could've been earlier. But it's the first memory I have of it. When I was playing with my toys in the living room of our old townhome. He stepped on when. Got very angry. Then threw it at me. Hit me in the eye. He blamed me for it. Told everyone I hit myself while playing. Stuff like that continued for a while. Then I was able to talk back. I couldn't help it. I knew I couldn't physically take him, so I would say things. But that just made him say things back He used to tell me I was a mistake. He would say 'you're just the product of a drunk night and faulty condom'. I had no idea what a condom was until later." I hear a few chuckles.