maybe a little. // fred weasley x reader

11. ouch.

8 days since you've gotten to Hogwarts. one week since classes started, one week since you had eaten. 5 days since you had talked to Fred. 2 days till the anniversary of your fathers death. you were so tired. not eating took a lot out of you. you had no energy. you missed your dad. you were lost. you were separating yourself from everyone and everything. you were falling apart all over again.

the past few days had been rough, and the few approaching will be worse. your dad was the person you looked too for everything. he knew everything about you and when he died it was the single worst day of your life. you never could've imagined how heart broken you were. the only reason you are still here and okay was because of your closest friends Fred and George. yes, you had your whole group of friends lee, katie, and angie but they were bit as close as you with the twin. there was Fred and George the iconic duo but along side was Fred, George, and y/n. the iconic trio. they had been with you at your darkest times. there were the only people as close to you as your father was. your dad loved them. he always thought you would end up with one of them in the long run, he said he knew which one but he never told you. now you were sorta hoping it was Fred. you were not excited for the next week or so. your depression was starting to settle in bad, you missed all your classes today because you couldn't get out of bed. you just told everyone you were sick.

George was the first person you told about your depression and it was a lot to do with your dads passing and he knew that, but it still hurt him to see his best friend hurting so bad. then Fred found out and he was the same way. the two of them were truly godsends when it came to helping you out. all they wanted was to see you get better.

everything was taking a toll on you. you weren't really hungry anymore, the feeling faded after a while. you missed Fred, oh how you missed him you just wanted to run up and hug him and ask him how his day was. these past 5 days not talking to him were torture, anytime something happened the first person you wanted to tell was him. you missed your dad. and you missed your uncle lupin, you decided you would send him a letter. he probably misses your dad just as much as you and is probably going through the same thing you were. you pulled out your quill and a piece of parchment and writ him a letter. it wrote-

dear uncle lupin,

how are you doing? i know the anniversary of dads death is coming up and it's taking a toll on me and is probably doing the same too you, i know how close you guys were. i miss you very much, and i promised you i'd write. i never break a promise. please get back to me as soon as possible, i want to make sure you are doing alright. i hope all is well and that this finds you ok. sometimes i worry about my dart, since she's still new she's trying to figure it all out. i miss you.

     much love,
                       y/n

you walked over to your trunk and grabbed an envelope and a small piece of chocolate. you put the letter and candy in the envelope, sealed it, wrote uncle lupin on the front and sent it down. you were worried about lupin, you wanted to make sure he was ok though and if he was hurting too bad, he would not write back but you need to make sure he was fine so you decided to write another letter, this time to Molly Weasley, this one wrote-

dear Mrs. Weasley,
 
   hello, it's y/n. i don't want to be a burden to you but if you could, can you please go and check on my uncle remus? i don't know if you remember but in a few days it will mark a year since my fathers passing. i know lupin isn't doing well because well i'm not doing so good either. i wrote him, but i don't know if he will write back and i would like to know that he is ok. when he's at a low point it isn't good. you don't have too but if you could i would really appreciate it. we all miss you bunches :)

         much love,
                          y/n

you grabbed another envelope and put the letter in, sealing it, then writing Mrs. Weasley on the front. you grabbed the letter for lupin and sent dart off with the two letters hoping you would be getting some back soon. it was late now, around 10 pm, Angelina and Katie were gone, they went with Lee and George to a Ravenclaw party. you assumed Fred went too so it was just you sitting in your dorm alone.

you decided you would try and relax a little, so you grabbed a book, sat down and started reading as you always do. about 20 pages in you heard a knock on the door, "it's open" you yelled not taking your eyes off the page. you finally look up to see who had walked in and it was not who you wanted in your dorm right now, it was Fred. he stood back pressed against the now closed door head down playing with the string on his sweatpants. "fuck i didn't know it was you" you scowled. " look i just want to talk" he said looking at you. " well i don't want to talk, bye." he was getting mad. "no. you don't get to say bye, it's not about that. it's serious." you scoffed at him. "what Freddie what is so serious you have to talk about it right now" he started walking towards you and the anger left his face. " your doing it again y/n." he said softly, he knew this was a sensitive topic. your face dropped as soon as you realized what he was talking about. "doing what" you said as he sat at the end of your bed. " your not eating. i can tell" you looked down and played with the page of your book. " that's none of your business" his anger was returning. "stop that, it is my business and you know it. and i know you lied to George about eating. and you need to eat y/n this isn't healthy." he reached into his pocket and pulled out a granola bar. " it's nothing big but it's a start." he slid it down the bed to you. " Freddie i can't" you couldn't look at him. " you can. you have too, i'm not gonna let you hurt yourself anymore." you finally looked at him, and he looked back with a pitiful look in his eyes. "it will all come back" you said. " who cares" you stood up from the bed and through your hands in the air "I CARE, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO LOOK INTO A MIRROR AND NOT HATE WHAT I SEE" you yelled, he now stood up "STARVING YOURSELF IS NOT THE WAY TO DO THAT." he yelled back. "WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE SO MUCH!" he let a breath out through his nose when you said that. " BECAUSE I CANT LOSE ANYMORE OF YOU THAN I ALREADY HAVE." tears filled your eyes and his. "i'm falling apart Freddie, and i don't know what to do" he didn't say anything, he just hugged you. he hugged you like it was the last time he was ever going to see you. " you know, in two days  it will have been a whole year " you said into the hug.  "a whole year since what- oh my god, y/n i'm so sorry, i know how much he meant to you." you sobbed into Fred's chest as he held you in his arms. "he was my person" you said. "i wrote to remus, and your mum, i asked her to check on him i'm sorry, i should have asked you first but i know he misses him just as much as i do. and i know he is hurting right now and won't write me back." you said. " no no it's fine, she loves you like her own, you don't need to ask to write to her." you sniffled a little and Fred squeezed you a little tighter before letting go and wiping your tears away. he bent to his left and grabbed the granola bar off the bed and opened it handing it to you. you took it from his hand broke it in half and gave part of it back to him " together" you whispered " together" he repeated.  you were upset with yourself for eating but you were also happy that someone cared enough to notice something was wrong. you both finished eating and he gave you a kiss on the cheek and went to leave but you grabbed his hand. "stay?" you said in a soft tone. "forever" he replied. Fred lied down on your bed and tapped his chest, you went and lied next to him with your head on his chest and one arm draped across his torso. his hand went to your back softly rubbing back and forth and the other on top yours.
"Freddie" you said.
"yea?"
" thank you"
" for what?"
"caring enough to notice."
"always"

i'm currently working on a new chapter, i'm just having some writers block so please bare with me i'm trying :)