Barely There

Chapter 24 - A Different Life

Her steps were light and airy.

With her arms locked by her side, she attempted to maintain the joviality she had masked over her uncertain interior. However, the forced smile was slipping off and the more she tried to keep it painted above her chin, the more insane the girl looked.

The unnatural grin twitched wildly on her face and she fought with the protesting smile some more before giving up completely, muttering swears under her breath. Walking up to the familiar door, she took a deep breath before knocking for what seemed like the thousandth time that week.

"Leda, come in."

"Sorry for calling on such short notice, I just wanted to..." she felt the gears stop and struggled to find the words. "I want to.." Frowning, she tried to find the words.

He smiled comfortingly, not showing his teeth but letting his lips spread across his face in a soft grin.

"I understand." They stood there in awkward silence before he suddenly moved from his spot. "Sorry. Let me go get her and we can be on our way."

Before she could look around at the neighborhood, a bush of wavy hair passed beside her, skipping down the steps excitedly. Her fairy-like voice sung out of tune, but still softly and smoothly enough to sound somewhat beautiful. She sang the words carefully making sure to sound out each letter correctly with the rhythm that only she could hear.

"Weee aree goingg tooo thee paaaark!"

Leda followed close after the girl, standing beside her, closest to the traffic in a protective stance.

"Hey Clem, wanna slow down so your dad can catch up?"

The singing stopped abruptly before continuing at the sound of Grayson's steps on the pavement. Leda turned her neck, seeing him walking right behind her and the small girl.

She muttered beneath her breath.

"Oh...well, never mind then."

Sagging his head down, he smiled at her remark, briefly denting two faint dimples in his cheeks. As his smile died down, the dimples disappeared. She missed them already.

The faint laughter of children echoed down the street from the playground a block away. Clementine skipped down the sidewalk, each step making her struggle to sing her song.

Leda relaxed, letting her senses roll around in the tranquility. The scent of the wet pavement bombarded the atmosphere and she thought back on how many times she had run across the cement in the middle of a rainstorm to get to him. Three pairs of shoes scuffed and stepped on the gray cement, each pair moving in dissonance with the other. The feet moved in a disorganized chaos of steps before all stopping in unison at the gate of the playground. The sound of high-pitched yelling and laughter had increased now, she couldn't hear her own thoughts anymore.

She smiled at that.

The laughter died down for a mere second as a sharp breeze blew. The thoughts screamed at her. Letting the smile wipe away, she remembered her purpose for the trip to the park.

To spend more time with my daughter.

Unable to pinpoint the girl among the sea of children, she used the mental image of the young girl to compare to her own youthful self. The man beside her broke her out of her comparative trance.

"Let's sit down."

Keeping her eyes on the playground, she followed his steps, tripping over every crack on the stones.

They sat down on opposite sides of the bench, one trying to ignore the other, and the other trying to study the one who was doing the ignoring. He slid closer to her on the metal seat.

"Why are you doing this Leda?"

She finally broke her steel gaze off of the children and looked into his eyes for the first time. Keeping her voice steady, she spoke the practiced words. "I told you. To spend more time with you and Clementine."

He laughed dryly, letting out a puff of air. He shifted his body towards her further, imprisoning her in her corner of the bench.

"No, I mean...why are you accepting this so easily?"

She looked back at the playground, looking for the flash of brown hair. There were too many of them.

"I'm tired." He stayed silent in hope of elaboration. Her voice became more irritated. "I'm tired of fighting against everything. It's almost like everything in my life happens out of my control and I'm sick of beating myself up about it. What do you want me to do Grayson? Scream? Cry? Ask for a DNA test? I've already done enough crying and shouting. I'm tired."

He didn't say anything, the knowing glint in his eyes did. The laughter spread out, lighting the park and warming the air. Birds pecked at nothing by the girl's feet and the wind brushed through the leaves of the bare trees around them.

It stayed like that for a while, until the swarm of children lessened to only a small group and until the sun prepared for its daily rest.

That's when he spoke again.

"That's what I said three years ago."