Barely There

Chapter 17 - The Last Week

Saturday 

She slammed her apartment door, marching towards the balcony with angry steps. The cool air cleared her body of the toxins but her stubborn mind kept the desperate hold on to memory. Frustratedly, she tugged at her hair until she felt the burning pain searing her scalp, hoping she could pull out every detail about him from the poisoned field of her mind. The color of his eyes. The feel of his touch. And absolutely every small aspect that made her care for him. After only a mere second on the balcony, she stumbled back into the lonely apartment as tears burned her eyes. Water threatened to spill out in rivers of regret and heartbreak with each step she took towards the other end of the apartment. As she practically fell into the bathroom, her eyes made contact with the broken reflection.

She was unable to recognize herself as the color was drained from her face. Her bottom lip was swollen and red from her anxious chewing and her eyes were deformed because of the unstoppable and rather violent tears. She blinked at the girl on the other side of the two faced mirror, disorienting herself further through the overwhelming thoughts.

The brunette sat on the closed toilet and threw her heavy head in her hands, thinking about nothing and everything at the same time. She thought about her foolishness, her naivety, and her ever-increasing feelings for the man who carried a ring for another woman.

The reflection stared somberly at the defeated girl.

.

An hour passed each minute of the grave day.

The cold tiles provided a distraction from the cruel thoughts. She welcomed the short silence in the small bathroom before sighing at the start of the ring tone. Her chocolate eyes burned through the metal device on the floor beside her. His name on the screen stabbed her in the chest and yearned to throw her phone out of the window with her ring of the device. Yet something kept her limps glued to the hard ground in spit of the torture. The ringing continued for what seemed like years before fading out into silence.

She let it go to voicemail for the ninth time.

Sunday 

She woke up to the sun's painful rays on her sensitive eyes. The cold morning air froze her skin, turning it into a thorn covered field of goosebumps and frostbites. She dragged herself out of the linen clouds and moved towards the bathroom, each step becoming a difficult chore for her exhausted body. Her head thumped with the after effects of betrayal as she leaned into the sink, splashing cool water on her swollen face. 

After finishing the old, morning routine, she changed into warmer clothes, preparing for a trip to nowhere. 

Left .

Right.

Left. 

Each step moved her out of the memory filled apartment and towards the beach. Taking a look around after leaving the building, she sighed. The grimy streets were filled with a myriad of people in groups of five or three or two. The consequential loneliness seeped into her skin like deadly poison and with each look at the joyful faces of fulfillment, she became terrified. Her mind wandered to places she dared not to visit before meeting the impactful brunette man. Her mind twirled around the thoughts of what could be or could have been if it were not for the splitting image of the ring. The laughing and chattering of the people dragged her out of the thoughts and she became grateful for a mere second before the jealousy took over.

As she moved closer towards the salty sea, she observed a rather old man and woman on a wooden bench, holding hands. Their wrinkly fingers were intertwined with a million different memories and stories held safely between them. Their contentment and peace with each other increased the ever-gnawing poison that coursed through the brunette's cold blood. Her deceiving brain uninvitingly morphed the happy couple in her mind to resemble the futuristic image of her and the brown-haired boy before snapping out of the dreamy imagination. After scoffing pettily at the old pair, she turned towards the staircase that led down into the sandy region.