Milan
I got up early the next morning and I got in the shower, it was steaming hot and it made the doors fog up, I stood directly under the water as I lathered my body with my Jasmine body wash. I kept the lights off, it was completely dark and I like showering in the dark. The warmth of the water made me feel comfortable, the darkness so I couldn't see but still know what I was found a feeling I can't explain.
January was always the coldest month, to me at least and I hated going outside if I didn't have a reason to, but today I did.
I rinsed my skin and got out the bathroom, to change.
I oiled my skin with coconut oil that added a body butter over it, put some underwear on and took out my blue sweat pants, I put a white t shirt on, hoodie then my coat and my uggs.
"Where you goin?" Brent walked in and leaned against the door frame,
"I have stuff to do today, a lot actually"
After therapy with Bashar I was gonna go apartment hunting, get a new job cause PINK was ass to me now and I'd often have flash backs of Jade, taking me right back to when she died, now I just put it at the back of my head because I don't wanna deal with it and I still cry about it but there's nothing I could do honestly. Besides that I needed to go to my mommas house.
"Want me to come with you?"
"No it's fine, no wait you can come help me find a good place, I'll call you and you'll come get me from my mom's house"
"Oh , Ight" he kissed my neck and walked out
I picked up my bag, put gloves on and walked out to the apartment and went to the garage to get my car then I drove to his house.
I got there, got out and walked up to the door and used the key his mom gave to me to open the door, I started here for quite some time so his mother cut a key for me. I walked in and he sat on the living room couch, turned his head to me.
"Hey" you know when you love someone and just seeing them makes you happy and wanna hug them and kiss too, yeah that's how I felt even when I was mad but I guess I can't do that now and it's my fault, don't get me wrong I love Brent but let's be real I love Bashar more than anything.
"Hey" I locked the door and sat next to him
"I'm just waiting on ma, she takes mad long to do nothin bro her hair is already done all she gotta do is shower and put some clothes on". I laughed at his frustration but he started laughing too and I smiled.
"You look fine as fuck today ma as usual tho, nothin new cause you always look mad good" I couldn't help but blush, the difference between Brent and Pop was simple.
Bashar did his shit Ight but his love never left and I never had to question his loyalty to me, he treats me like a princess and he's funny and a sweetheart but Chris, he's sweet too, always there for me even when Pop was out doing what he was doin and yeah I know he loves me but I not too sure if he loves me like that. I'm mad that I let our friendship get to this, fuckin and sleeping together and shit but I'm just scared that one day I'll go back to Bashar and he won't want this friendship anymore. Bummer right.
"Y'all ready? I got y'all waiting long huh?"
"Yeah mad long ma sometimes I wanna know what you doin" I got up and his mom helped him into his wheel chair
"Thanks momma"
He looked over at me and sucked his teeth
"You gonna come push me or what" he rolled his eyes playfully as I walked over to him and pinched his arm.
"Yeah don't talk to me like that" he laughed out as I pushed him out to his mom's car , I helped him, put the wheelchair in the trunk and then got in next to him in the back seat.
"You went back to the apartment?"
"Yeah but I didn't stay for long cause Amber wanted me to have dinner with her" he nodded and grabbed my hand.
"I really hope this therapy shit goes well cause if I could walk I'd personally come get you when you left, it's holding me back no cap like I got so much shit I gotta put off or rethink cause my ass can't walk" I knew he had to feel some typa way since the shooting and I wish it wasn't this way but it's better than him being dead, hopefully this therapy can help him get back on his feet.
"Ight let's go" his mom got in and we drove off, the ride was filled with Bashar joking around and his mom and I laughing, with gospel playing through the radio and he held my hand the entire ride.
He's nervous, I know because he always bites his inner cheek and I just rested my head on his shoulder.
We pulled up to the centre, his mom helped him out and then we went in, I hated the place already, smelled weird, it was quiet but too quiet and the employees looked scary.
"Appointment for Bashar Jackson" we waited as his mother spoke to the receptionist.
"I don't like it here" he whispered and I nodded
"Same" a nurse came and pushed his wheel chair away, I followed close behind.
"I'm sorry ma'am if you're not immediate family you can't enter but you can wait out here"
"So I can't come in and sit there?"
"Company policy."
"Na but y'all deadass?"
"Ma'am it's company policy"
"That's my wife" he looked up at the nurse and she rolled her eyes at him before she pushed him into the room and his mom and I went in together.
"Okay just sign these papers, read it if you need to and the specialist will be here in a moment" I sat down and took the papers from him and started reading them.
"Ight go ahead and sign it"
"You my lawyer or sum Mil?"
"You can read it if you want to"
"I'm just playin, you won't let me do this shit if you saw something wrong"
He signed the papers and the doctor came in.
"Okay Bashar I'm Dr. Sarah Johnson, I read your charts and you have activity in your feet so that's good, can you wiggle your toes a little for me? If you can't it's fine but try your best okay?" He nodded then looked down as his feet as he tried moving his toes.
Nothing happened but I kept looking at him until it did a little bit and I sighed of relief and he moved them some more.
"Okay well you're good to start" she smiled at him and put down the charts and went over to two bars that stood on the other side of the room.
"We're gonna start with a little flexing of the feet, like this and to make it even better your company can join as well, it helps make you feel more comfortable and like you have even more support so shoes off"
I nodded and pulled my chair closer to them taking my shoes off as well as his mom.
" Look at my feet and follow after me okay" she flexed her toes and ordered us to follow.
"Think of it as in and out, like breathing, toes in and out to the sky. We're starting small to start off and next session we'll have a mixture of movements and it'll keep going until you can do everything we've gone through and walking is one of them" he smiled and I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
"I also encourage my clients to look out at the view and think about what you want the most, going to get it, walking to get it and focus on that goal"
We did a bunch of other exercises and he did start moving his feet more.
"Okay next session is on Friday, two days from now and I'll see you guys then, you can do the exercises at home as practice okay don't limit yourself to the classes alone" she said before she left.
"You did good son" his mom hugged him and decided to join in the hug.
"I'm proud of you"
We left and headed back to his place.
"Thanks for coming out with me today, for real like no one else was tryna come thru but you pulled up" he smiled and I passed my hand over his braids.
"It's cool, you know I got you, I'll call you every night and we can go over what you did in therapy cause I'll be workin and shit and I'm not sure if imma make all your sessions but I'll be there for some" he nodded and I picked up my bag.
"I gotta go okay? I gotta go over my mom's house" he opened his arms and I hugged him.
"Be safe wifey" I laughed and left.
I drove over there but I didn't know what to say or do but I knew I had to see her. And now.
