Milan
I rode be ambulance and I didn't give a fuck, Basi and Mike sent me home to be safe but I didn't give a fuck, I had to be there with my baby. My mind raced as I drove, could it be my fault? Were they there for me? I had so many thoughts and I couldn't keep up.
Mike called over and over while I drove and blew up my phone with texts big once he called again I answered.
"What Obasi?! What?"
"Milan please go home it's not safe girl don't put your life on the line bro we got this" I just sucked my teeth and hung up. Why they think I'd ever just go home and relax like it's all cool.
I did head home to Pop's place, I get it was dangerous for me to even be showing my faces outside, I went to the underground parking and put car in the darkest spot. I gathered al my stuff and headed up to his apartment, when I got in and I dropped the keys my heart broke.
I couldn't think straight, I felt like I was shaking and barely moved pass the door. I needed to see him, be there with him. That was my baby and I wish I could kill whoever did this but I couldn't identify the person.
Mike and Obasi didn't answer every time I called and I kept thinking about a Pop and if he was okay but each time they didn't answer I'd think about the worst possible things.
Before I knew it I was back out the door and you couldn't get anyone to stop me except
"Mil what's wrong? Milan" Hakeem grabbed my hand and pulled me back from running down stairs.
"I'm fine and could you please leave me alone Hakeem" I pulled back my arm and got to my car.
Hakeem looked a mess, he looked like he was going through it, needed a cut and the bags under his eyes were crazy but it's none of mine.
I sped to the hospital as I grew even more impatient and once I got there I ran in, looking around for someone,anyone I knew but then ran over to the desk.
"Hi I'm looking for Bashar Jackson, can you help me find him please" tears filled my eyes and I could barely see through them.
"What's your relation to him?"
"I'm.. I'm his girlfriend please can I see him or something? Is he okay? Please tell me it's okay"
I felts hands on my shoulder and it was his mother with tears in her eyes as well
"He's in the OR, it's too soon to say I'm sorry. Have a seat if you'd like and I'll keep you posted" I nodded and we found some seats and sat.
"Ms Jackson I'm sorry, so sorry I -." I shook my head and broke down. I felt her arms wrap around me and I couldn't compose myself.
"What happened? What happened to my son" she cried as well
"He came to get me and we were outside when this care came through and started shorting" I barely got out and she squeezed me as she cried, I felt guilty as fuck, what if they wanted me. If only I knew who I'd give myself up right now because I could put these lives in danger anymore.
Hours passed and I slept on her lap until the doctor came out again
"Here for Bashar Jackson!"
I shot up and walked over to him, by the looks on his face I already knew something was wrong but I hoped and prayed my baby was okay.
I have good news and some bad news" he pulled his mask off and placed his clip board on the desk.
"Good news is well, he's stable and you guys can see him tomorrow but the bad news is that he could possibly be paralyzed, he got shot on his spinal chord and there was nerve damage but it could be fixed with therapy, at least we're hoping so".
I felt like this was a dream, I couldn't believe it but I was just thankful he was alive but let's be honest this was fuckin horrible and I was shocked as fuck.
His mother was in disbelief and I hugged her,
"Oh God, oh God Please" I couldn't help but cry.
"I'm so sorry. You guys can visit him tomorrow around 8 for early visiting hours, 12 or 4" I nodded and we walked away, she hugged me so tight and we stood there for a minute before we pulled away.
"We should probably get on home" she hugged me again and walked off.
I wanted to stay with her, I know it's weird but I had no one at the moment. My mother disowned me, my best friend died, Brent went back to LA and Mike and Basi went off to wherever. It seemed a bit selfish tho to even ask, I didn't want any danger coming her way or to cause any trouble.
"Ms. Jackson is it okay if I stay with you?" She turned around and before she could even give a response I began to ramble off.
"Never mind it was stupid of me to even ask, I don't wanna cause no trouble to you or anything"
She gave me a warm smile and opened up her arms to me.
"Come on let's get home"
On the way I told her everything that happened with momma and she was a bit shocked and I must say talking to her about everything was a breath of fresh air.
But of course we still had a big issue hovering over us.
Once we got to the house she offered me some blankets, towels and showed me to pop's room. I walked in slowly and turned on the lights revealing the green and blue room.
I smiled at the pictures on the wall and dropped my bags on the floor, I couldn't help but cry and the room smelled like him too.
My phone rang and I ignored but it rang over and over
"Hello?" My voice cracked as I answered
"Milan where the fuck are you? I told you go to the apartment bro where you at?" Obasi yelled through the phone.
"I'm at your mom's house, I couldn't stay by myself" he got silent and I hung up on him.
Today was so crazy and I wish it didn't happen, I stripped out of my clothes that had his blood all over it. I held it in my hands in front of me and everything kept playing in my mind over and over again.
"Why bro why?fuck!"I flung the clothes on the other side of the room and went into the shower.
Once I turned on the shower I made sure it got super hot and got in, scrubbed the dry blood off of my skin.
I got out, got dressed and got in bed, I scrolled through Instagram looking at all the posts and videos that people posted. Someone tagged me in a video of me holding pop and I was honestly traumatized. I sat for five minutes straight reading headlines and rumors and DMs of Pop's fans asking if I was okay and their prayers.
I couldn't lose my baby, I wish I knew who did that to him cause I'd kill that nigga ASAP, but who?
Hakeem messaged me over and over asking if I was okay but I knew he was just trying to get to me while I was vulnerable and that nigga was mad annoying for that.
Hakeem⚠️- Mil you okay?
Hakeem⚠️- you can talk to me yk
Hakeem⚠️- I'm sorry about everything that happened... but I'm here for you.
Ugh.
Me- Na I'm good bro.
"Milan! I made dinner you want?" I got out the room to the smell of food and it was honestly amazing. I smiled at her as she placed the food out on the counter for me.
" I know you must be hungry so eat something"
I really didn't have much of an appetite right now but I ate anyway.
We sat and talked while we ate and it almost made me forget about what happened and I felt safe here.
I'm just praying that everything will be okay.
