The Night Everything Lost Sense

3. I am not guilty

Leaving school sparked both anxiety and pleasure. Undoubtfully, it was a long-awaited moment for many. By the time the bell rung, most students were already packed and ready to leave. The school courtyard would fill with students soon after, and they would slowly seep out of school premises like a wave that sails to shore. Briar was one of those that left school grounds later than everybody else. Seth was always slow when packing his books, so Briar had to wait for him every day. He didn't mind waiting. However, it was distinguishably more difficult to do it when he didn't have Soyoung by his side who teased Seth and hurried him by clapping her hands like an angry director.

By the time Seth and he got to the school gate, Kai and Terry had gone home and Casey had gone to basketball practice, leaving the two boys to leave without saying bye to anybody. They were quiet as they walked. It left space for Briar's mind to play tricks on him, and he began feeling uneasy. Eventually, he glanced back at their school, making sure that it didn't move. It might seem silly of him, but ever since he had a feverish nightmare about the school building following him, he couldn't help but feel threatened by having his back facing it. It wasn't just the school building that imposed that problem on him. A lot of times he was frightened by parked cars, as he expected them to slowly trail after him when he would not be looking.

He told Terry about it once and the latter thought that Briar has a powerful imagination. Terry blamed it on horror movies, thinking that Briar watches too many of them. That wasn't true, however. He used to watch them often with Soyoung, but as he got older his nightmares became worse and his imagination stronger. By the time he was 15, he was terrified of those movies and he would be restless for a week after watching one. Soyoung often laughed at him for being scared and he would constantly have to try and prove that he isn't a coward by watching movies with her. It was all in good fun. And being petrified and jumpy for a week was worth the feeling of eating popcorn with a close friend.

Briar clung to Seth the whole subway ride back home. The train screeched and shrieked, making Briar's entire body turn stiff. The second they stepped out of the subway, he felt his heart leap in joy. It felt like escaping a prison. His gleefulness brushed off onto Seth, making him more talkative and energetic in return. The two of them were always like that. If one of them was sad, the other would cry for him. If one of them was nervous, the other would lose sleep for him. Happiness wasn't any different.

Talking freely and openly with his best friend was a perfect refresher for Briar. As soon as he departed with Seth, he hurried to the front door of his home, ready to greet his mother who always waited to eat lunch with him.

He opened the door swiftly and yelled out a greeting as he took off his shoes. He neatly left them next to his father's and then proceed to take off his jacket and hang it on the coatrack. He straightened out an orange carpet that stood by the entrance before happily making his way to the living room, where he heard his mother greet him back.

The boy's eyes lingered on their family photos as he walked past them in the hallway. Sunny images of spring picnics and hugs from his loving parents, the memory of fizzy orange juice and melted ice-cream and delighted shrills of children that played in the park. A bright piece of memory that colored the world before his eyes, only for it to be washed out by gray as he set foot into the living room.

Two policemen sat on the couch, facing his pale mother, and stared back at him. Briar froze at the doorway. The room seemed darkened by a dusty, uninviting atmosphere. His mother reached out her arm to him and flashed him a smile. "Come, sweetie, come."

He followed his mother's sweet voice and approached the strange men, greeting them politely as he was always taught to do. He took a seat next to his mother, barely breathing as he waited for the men to speak.

"We are here to talk about Che Soyoung, your friend."

Briar's body turned numb and his mind shuttered dark. His words came out of his mouth as if they were scripted. As if he had prepared a speech. "What about her? Is she in trouble?"

"Perhaps," one of the policemen said. "We are here because she was reported missing by her parents last night."

A cold chill traveled down Briar's spine. "Missing?"

"Sorry to bring the news like this," the policeman apologized. "It hasn't been 24 hours but it is apparent that she might be in danger."

"She is missing?" Briar whispered. "She isn't home?"

"She is not," the policeman confirmed. Seeing how distressed the boy looked he offered to let him take a few minutes to process everything. As soon the two men got up and left to a different room, to give him space, the boy's hands began shaking and he shot his mother a help seeking glare.

The woman comfortingly rubbed his back, telling him how he shouldn't think the worst. She tried to persuade him into thinking that Soyoung still might be fine, but Briar barely listened to her. His mind kept rewinding to last night. He stared at his memories through a static screen and all he could mentally see was Soyoung's long hair swimming against an old wooden floor.

The memory resonated somewhere deep within him and unimaginable pain filled his chest. His eyes welled up and the world blurred behind a wall of water.

When the policeman came back and began questioning him, Briar ended up cracking in front of them. Tears fell down his life-ridden cheeks. The sensation was too familiar and too painful, that he couldn't speak.

He answered questions with difficulty. Each word packed a punch to his heart.

"When did you last see her?"

Last night.

"What time?"

It was late. 10 pm.

"How long did you stay there?"

For an hour. We talked for a bit and then we went home.

"You didn't walk with her?"

She is too prideful for that. We live in different parts of the town.

"Did she say anything before she left?"

Nothing.

She said nothing.

Briar barely mumbled out his answers. At one point they had to stop and let him recollect himself. He felt miserable and judged under their cold glares. His mother stayed by his side and comforted him, continuedly assuring him that Soyoung will be found and that she'll be healthy and alive.

The policemen apologized for staying for too long and got ready to leave. One of them patted Briar's shoulder, as if he was telling him that they will do their best to find his missing friend. They left, and Briar couldn't even get up and say goodbye to them.

"Oh sweetie," his mother choked out. Her eyes glistened as she watched him shrink in his seat.

Briar gripped his hair, breathing shallowly as he tried to recollect himself. His mother hugged him, shushing him like a baby and sitting with him for an hour until he finally turned numb and calmed down.

When he got a chance to be alone, he locked himself in the bathroom and dialed his best friends' number. It didn't take him long to answer Briar's call.

"Hey, what's up? You never call like this," Seth asked, immediately sounding concerned.

"Seth," Briar sobbed out.

There was a shorter pause from the other side, soon followed by a panicked reaction. "Oh my god. Are you okay?"

"Seth," Briar repeated, barely breathing, "Soyoung isn't home."

"What? What happened?"

"Soyoung isn't home. She is not..."

"Briar? Hey. Calm down. What happened, is she okay?"

"No," he cried out. His voice reflected all painthat took residence inside him. "She is missing, Seth. Soyoung is gone."