The Night Everything Lost Sense

9. Crush

A few days had passed since Casey and Seth had that argument. Seth kept distance ever since and Casey took his place as Briar's biggest caretaker and friend. He walked him to school and home. He paid for his sodas and snacks in the convenience store. He helped him with homework. Casey stuck around Briar so much that he became a permanent thought in his head.

For what it was worth, Briar was happy. He truly was happy. He always had feelings for him. It seemed surreal that he suddenly had Casey's full attention. The elder wished to help Briar overcome the dark cloud that followed him around and was determined to stay by his side as much as he could.

It did help. Somewhat. Briar was in a blissful state. His nightmares vanquished for a little while. Casey occupied his head so much that he pushed out some of his demons. It seemed too perfect.

Whilst sitting on his bed with Casey, covered with a thick blanket and feasting on salty snacks, Briar couldn't help but wonder if his friend felt the same way as him. He wondered if Casey felt the same jolt every time their fingers touched. He wondered if Casey also had an odd, fuzzy, feeling in his stomach.

It was impossible to read his expression. Briar was barely able to withstand Casey's smile and caring gazes. He couldn't help but follow Casey around and listen to his every order or advice.

One day, Briar caught Seth staring at him. It was a longing stare. They were always inseparable. Not talking for so long felt like a prolonged fever dream. Briar missed him. But, he didn't have the courage to walk up to Seth and speak to him. All he could do is watch him from afar. Even then, his mind was cruel and played the foreboding image of Seth's purple hair dragging against the floor.

It horrified him.

Why was he having nightmares whilst being awake?

He couldn't approach Seth. Instead, he focused on Casey's affection. He let himself completely fall into the nirvana like state. Sometimes, he could swear that Casey displayed feelings that weren't purely friendly. Sometimes, he was confident that they had mutual feelings for each other.

Briar couldn't be sure, however. Lying awake at night, he wondered if his ideas were true or if they were delusions.

Surely enough, his question would soon be answered.

It was Wednesday after school. Casey had once again walked him home and decided to spend time with him. The two boys sat on Briar's bed, watching a movie on Briar's laptop. It was getting late and the room fell dark. Their silhouettes were bathed in the PC's meek blue glow.

Briar's head rested on Casey's shoulder until the latter got up and left. A minute or so later, Casey was back from his bathroom break and he cuddled close to Briar once again, getting his face to turn pink.

They sat in silence for a little while, enjoying each other's presence and secretly glancing at other.

"Bee..."

Briar raised his brows, turning his head towards Casey. He caught his eyes twinkling in the laptop's glow.

"I'm glad to see you happier than before."

Briar's lips pressed together. He didn't know how to reply. His heart was running a marathon.

"I know it's not easy," Casey started. "Nobody is truly comfortable knowing that our friend is missing... but I wanted you to know that I am proud of you."

Briar's mouth slowly fell open.

"I'm proud of you for being so strong," Casey said.

"Cass... I don't know what to say."

"That's okay," he smiled. "You don't have to say anything. I'm just glad you are happier."

Briar felt his heart stagger. "Really?"

"Of course... I wanted to see you cheer up."

"Thank you so much, Cass..."

"For what?" Casey disputed. "You deserve to be happy."

Briar's face was burning. He could see the pink tint on Casey's cheeks as well. "T-thank you for caring about me so much."

Casey smiled. "It's nothing."

"I... care about you a lot too," Briar whispered.

"That means a lot. Thank you, Bee."

They fell silent for a moment. Both gazed each other, waiting for the other to speak. In the end, Casey gave in. He shook his head. "I can't believe I'm telling you this... It's not the time for that sort of stuff at all. But..."

Briar's heart stopped as Casey took a deep breath and reached for his hand. "I've been thinking about you a lot recently."

"Hm?"

"I guess what I want to say is... You've been on my mind a lot and... I don't think it's just because you are my friend."

"W-what?"

Casey's eyes slowly averted. Seeing how uncomfortable he was getting, Briar quickly took his hand. "Cass. I... I feel the same way."

"Wait, really?"

Briar bit on his lower lip and nodded. Casey's face lit up. He rubbed his nape and chuckled. "Oh wow. Okay."

Briar felt his face heat up.

"Then. Would you like to hang out sometimes. But... like a date?"

"I would love to."

Casey let out a gleeful sight. "I can't believe that worked. Wow. I was so afraid."

"You didn't have to be," Briar assured him. "Cass, I had a crush on you for the longest of time."

Casey's face was completely red. He smiled brightly and nodded, squeezing Briar's hand back. "I'll go get you some water, okay? I'll be right back."

Briar nodded and let him leave his side. Once the door of his room shut behind Casey, Briar covered his mouth in shock. He was so thrilled by their confession that he slowly forgot about all his troubles.

Once Casey came back and settled besides him, Briar immediately hugged his arm. Casey raised his brow but ended up chuckling at the other's clinginess. They fell silent and let the movie grab their full attention.

Briar was so preoccupied by the limitless feeling in his stomach, that he didn't notice how Casey never brought him water.

His head slowly filled with more thoughts. All of them buzzing and swirling, like static on tv or bees in a beehive. His mind was a cluttered mess, but at least in that moment, when he sat by Casey, everything seemed alright.

Everything was alright, right?

------

He do be wrong.