HOSEOK X BTS OT6

Faded away

Ship: Namseok
Warning ⚠️: Death
Genre: angst of course
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You'd avoided my stare

Looking down at the ground which you found unlikely interesting.

While I glanced over the sink,

Spits and drops of blood staining its once white decor.

Glaring at you,

I asked you

"How long?"

You looked up and met my eyes only to shift your gaze back to the ground.

"One month."

I wanted to yell at you.

To scold you.

But I was worried,

To even notice how hurt you were.

You had told me its just a little throat infection and you're taking medication for that,

You lied.

I watched as you grew weaker everyday.

Skinnier.

Paler.

To a point you looked like an unhealthy vampire.

I asked you a multiple times.

And you lied a thousand times,

"I'm fine"

Heated arguments followed,

We left the house in anger not so rarely,

We were fading away.

We couldn't look at each other in the eyes,

Guilt engulfing both of us,

Lies spoken by you continuously banging my door,

So that I let them enter my heart and believe them,

But I didn't give up.

I kept on pestering you about it.

I could see you occasionally getting irritated and infuriated,

But you never spoke the truth.

I wish I had raided your room.

I wish I had told you words of comfort instead of yelling.

I wish I had made you feel like if you had told me the truth then I wouldn't freak out.

But I fucked up.

I yelled.

I left.

Regret envelops me now.

As I remember the day I got a call from the hospital.

As the nurse spoke quietly and sympathetically,

"Hello is this Mr Jung Hoseok? Are you related to Mr Kim Namjoon? Oh, we are sorry to inform you that he has passed away-"

I had dropped and broke my phone but I was to fazed to notice that.

I remember how you stormed out of the house after another daily heated argument.

I wish I had stopped you.

I wish I had held you back and apologized and comforted you.

But I can't turn back time can I?

I had bid your corpse but still alive soul, goodbye

I know you're up there.

Watching me.

Probably hating me.

And enjoying life with the angels.

So here, before your grave,

I place a bouquet of flowers and lay,

Because we faded away.

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Regret is greater than gratitude~