My Shifting Realities Experience

this is for you

I know you've been trying for a while, you're probably getting frustrated, discouraged. And then you go on amino, or you go on tiktok or whatever shifting community you're a part of and everyone says you can't let yourself get discouraged. But you can. It's okay to feel frustrated after trying for so long. It's okay to feel like it's hopeless. I'd be surprised if you weren't a little discouraged. With all that's going on in the world, especially in the US, shifting is a getaway. For a lot of us we look at it and see this better world, one that we have a little more control over. Where we can be with the people we love without having to worry about getting them sick. It's hard not being there, day after day, every time we wake up in our CR beds it's like a punch to the gut. We wonder what we're doing wrong.

And then tiktok tells us that we're doubting ourselves or thinking about it too much. They say shifting is as easy as breathing and we tell ourselves we're trying too hard. Don't. They tell us shifting is easy, but for some people it's hard. To some tying a shoelace is easy, for others it's hard. We are all built different. Some people can let go from this reality with ease, others have a really hard time.

The point is, you can't measure yourself based on others successes. It's okay to feel like you'll never make it, because deep down you know you will. That's what matters. Even if you feel discouraged and like giving up, the most important thing is to keep trying.

I can't tell you how many times I've woken up in my CR and been disappointed. How many times I've doubted whether or not I'd actually shift. I tell myself day after day that tonight is the night I will shift only to wake up in my CR. It's hard, for sure. But I just keep thinking of the people I want to be with. They're worth it. I'll keep trying for as long as it takes to get there. And you will too.

I cope by finding new ways to connect to my DR. First I looked through old yearbooks obsessively picking out pictures of my DR friends, then I went on ancestry and looked them up to find out what happened to them after high school. Then I looked them all up in old newspapers and found out so much about their lives. For a while I wasn't sure where to go from there, I'd basically exhausted all my resources for historical records. But scripting has always been central to me. I research for my script, I added a timeline of big dates ranging from a trip to the ocean in the summer of 1955 to the births of my nieces and nephews in the 60's and 70's, I have photos of all the people closest to me, I have an entire note to keep track of people I think I'll be friends with, people in Torch Tri-Hi-Y, in drama, on Newspaper, and countless other activities.

If you really have doubts, if you're really discouraged, find something to ground you. There's a metaphorical string between you and your DR, you need to grab the end and pull. What can you add to your script? Are there any pictures of your DR you missed? Go through all your DR friends' personalities, analyze them. When I was trying to sleep one night I just went through all my DR friends and considered what flavor milkshakes they would like and I was shocked at how easily I recognized each of their go-to flavors. It makes sense, I already know them so well, just not in this reality.

You can doubt, you can be discouraged, but you can't give up. No matter how long it takes you or how much you struggle you'll make it. It could take another week, a month, or a year. You may think, 'I can't wait that long,' but I promise you can. And you will, because it'll be worth it.

You have somewhere else you're meant to be, and you're going to get there one day. I believe in you, even when you don't. And I always will.

You will shift. You will shift.

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