Thanks to You

If You Cant Hang

    I zipped up the back of my tight black dress and checked myself in the mirror. Why am I even doing this? I asked myself. Soon there was a knock at my door and it caused me to jump. I touched up my make up and walked down the stairs. As I opened the door part of me had hoped it was Alex. Alex coming to stop me from going on this idiotic date, but no it was Kellin.

   He was dressed in black skinny jeans, a white button up shirt, and black leather jacket. I smiled, "Hi Kellin." I said. He smiled and kissed my cheek, "Hey beautiful." He smiled. I waved to my mom and left with Kellin.

    It had been a total of fourty five minutes and I was still 'waiting' for Alex to come rescue me. I didn't want to be on a date with Kellin, I wanted to be on a date with Alex! Kellin was sweet and the perfect gentleman, but  everything he did I compared to how Alex would do it. Kellin could tell I wasn't exactly thrilled too. "You look really pretty Summer." He smiled. "Thanks Kellin, I'm sorry I'm not being the greatest date." I joked. He shook his head, "Its okay, you-" he was cut off by my scream.

   A passing waiter tripped and landed on my lap, which sent red wine down the front of my dress. "Shit!" I yelled. "I'm so sorry mam, I'm really sorry!" The waiter rambled Ina nervous frenzy standing up. I stood and looked at my dress, "Its fine....at least I wore black." I mumbled. Kellin grabbed a cloth and tried to dry me off but it did no good, I was soaked. "Mam your meal is on the house, I'm very sorry." The waiter apologized again. "Thank you...um Kellin can we go?" I asked turning red from emabarassment. He nodded and grabbed his coat.

    I sat on my jacket to keep from staining the seat of Kellin car and fumbled with my fingers. "I'm really sorry Summer, this isn't what I had planned at all." Kellin said disappointed. "Its okay...not the worst date of my life." I half laughed. He frowned, "But your dress, its covered in wine." He added. "I didn't like it anyway, its fine." I replied. He looked at me completely bewildered. "How are you so...calm?" He asked. "I've learned to accept a lot of things this week, this is just one more." I sighed. I was finally coming to the realization Alex was not going to save me.

   I had to move on from Alex as more than a friend. He didn't want me anymore and I understood that now. Why would he? I'm pathetic, and useless. I thought to myself. I kept watching out of the car window as Kellin picked up his ringing phone. He hung up after a few words, "Summer you're going to absolutely hate me." He joked. "Why?" I asked confused. "I need to stop by Jack's place." He replied. I rolled my eyes, "Oh." I replied.

    I stayed put as Kellin climbed out of his car and came to my side. "Are you coming?" He asked. I paused, Should I? What if Alex was home? I thought. I shook my head, "I can wait here." I said. He ignored me and opened my door letting the cold air hit my sticky legs. "Cmon, I'm not letting you sit outside in my car by yourself in the dark." He said taking my reluctant hand.

   Jack greeted us at his door, "Hey." He said. He went to give me a hug but I put up my hands. He frowned, "A waitor spilled wine all over me." I explained. He laughed and let us in. Alex froze when he saw us as he left the kitchen. I gave a faint smile and he came over slowly. "What happened?" He asked. Kellin quickly kissed my cheek and left with Jack. Alex rolled his eyes, "Long story, basically I took a wine bath." I joked. He grinned and tried to hold back a laugh. I felt my stomach tighten when he smiled. It was nice to see him smile at me again, even if it was because of being covered in sticky, wet red wine.

  "Hey, you have some clothes here still don't you?" He asked and I nodded. "Why don't you get changed here? So you don't have to ride home like that." He said pointing to my dress. "Um...okay." I replied. Honestly I would have rathered be stuck in my sticky dress but I couldn't say no to Alex, not when he was trying too. I followed him to his room and he handed me an old pair of jeans and a T that I had left. "Thanks Alex." I replied taking them from him. He tried hard to smile but I could tell it wasnt the same smile as before. "Um, you could shower too. If you want." He said scratching the back of his head. My eyes widened and my cheeks flushed, "Um." I said trying to think of something. He shook his head, "Sorry that was stupid I didn't mean, you know, I'm gonna go." He said shuffling past me. I reached out and touched his arm, "Alex, what's wrong?" I asked. I was done trying to help him while staying distanced. I was done tip toeing around us. He shook his head, "Its nothing Summer, you don't have to worry." He said blankly. I shook my head and stood in front of him pulling up my sleeves. His eyes ran over my skin, "Don't tell me not to worry Alex Gaskarth." I said sternly.

    He sighed and nodded, "Get a shower, we can talk after." He said. I nodded and hurried to his bathroom. After getting a shower and changing clothes I walked out of the bathroom and jumped when I saw Alex waiting. "Ready?" He asked clearly struggling. I nodded and sat next to him, "Ready if you are." I replied. He half laughed, "I'm not so sure." He said. "Summer we have been friends a while now." He said looking away from me. I nodded and he carried on now pacing the floor. "And I was there for you, always there." He said. It was hard to tell but I could see his eyes starting to fill with water.

    "What are you getting at Alex?" I asked. He frowned and looked me in the eyes, "I'm saying I can't be there for you anymore. We're over, done." He said with eyes now letting go of the tears. I didn't know what to do, to say. It was like everything we had done together was, pointless. I sat there with nothing, no feeling, just wet cheeks. "I'm sorry Summer I- don't Alex I don't want to hear anymore." I said standing up. I grabbed my dirty dress and jogged out crying. I ignored Jack and Kellin calls and ran, ran, ran.

   I stopped when I got down the hall and leaned back against the wall slowly sliding down. I cried my eyes out until I heard Alex calling my name. He was panting by the time he got to me, "Summer I didn't mean it." He said. I turned my back to him, "Stop! You meant it I know you did. I knew it was only a matter of time before you realized it. Just leave." I begged. He came down and close taking my face in his shaky hands. "I lied. I love you but I can't love you. Not like this." He said pressing his forehead to mine.

   I pulled back, "Why the hell not? I do." I admitted. He shook his head, "Becausenyoure my best fri- what did you say?" He stopped. "I love you Alex." I repeated. His eyes locked with mine before closing, "I love you too Summer, I just didn't think you loved me back." He replied. I smiled and pressed my lips to his. We both smiled under the kiss, "I love you." I said again, this time the butterflies disappeared and everything was, right.