[Unorthodox Desire]Megumi Fushiguro x fem reader

Conversations

Trigger warning for yelling and arguments

Y/n's pov

"So are we just not gonna talk about yesterday?" As Fushiguro said these words I felt a small panic set off in my chest. 

"Nope," I replied as I pulled the covers back over my head. 

"Oh come on y/n!" He shouts. "You gotta explain." 

"There's nothing to explain." I snap back. "I have a problem, I went too far, it won't happen again. End of story." 

"How can you say that?" I felt the bed dip at the weight of him sitting on the edge. "You called me sobbing and when I got to your door you were covered in blood." 

"I'm sorry." I simply said as I felt the tears form in my eyes. 

"That doesn't make it any better!" 

"I know I know. What do you want me to do?" My voice broke. 

"You could start with telling me why you do that." His words were calm now the sudden change frightening me. I sat up abruptly. 

"It's an addiction." I sobbed pulling my face into my hands. The only thing I hear from him is a sigh. Then I feel his hand on my shoulder. 

"I'm sorry y/n." He says quietly. 

"Yeah, you should be!" I snapped in between sobs. "Y-you asshole," I said as I leaned into his shoulder. He stiffened for a moment before relaxing and loosely putting an arm around my back. 

"You really scared me you know." He said when my cries finally quieted down. 

"It was just a little blood," I mumbled. I knew it must've worried him to see someone covered in blood and crying but I pushed that away from my mind. I dismissed my own pain. 

"Y/n." He said sternly. His hand made its way to my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. I felt my face heat up at the direct eye contact. My face was close to his, close enough to feel his breath on my cheeks. His eyes flicked between my e/c ones. "You can't do that again." 

Like a knife in my side disappointment rang through me. I felt rage bubble up inside me. My hands moved before I could control them. I shoved him away from me, springing up onto my feet. 

"That's not your decision!" I yelled. I clutched my arms to my chest ignoring the stinging pain that came from that simple act. He slowly sat up again a stern look on his face. 

"You can't keep doing this to yourself." He said his voice far too calm for my liking. His jaw was clenched and I could see a vein popping on his forehead. 

"Why not? It won't affect my schoolwork or physical capabilities." I really couldn't see a reason why I shouldn't. So what if it leaves scars. So what if it's messy. I wanted to keep going, I didn't want to stop. 

"What happens when you go too far again and I'm not there to help you? You could die!"

"You think I don't know that?" I screamed back my arms waving in the air. "I already told you I won't go that far again." 

"I don't believe you." He stood and towered over me. I shrank back in fear. The look in his eyes was so intense my whole body shook violently. His hands grabbed my arms. He was so close to me once again. My anger seemed to leave my mind completely, replaced by something different. Something that made my thighs clench together and a fire start in my stomach. 

I froze in place, my face on fire and my legs refusing to move. His gaze burned into my eyes. I wanted to look away but my body rejected the request. We stood frozen in time just staring at each other for what felt like an eternity. 

And then it was over. His hands retracting like they had been burned. He stumbled backward tripping and falling onto my bed. I mirrored his actions stepping back until I was pressed against the wall staring down at my feet. 

I felt the tears sting in my eyes for the second time today. "Get out," I whispered. 

"Y/n-" 

"Get out! Leave me alone!" I felt hot liquid spill down my cheeks as I tried to hold them back. I slid down the wall as soon as I heard the door open and close. Something broke inside me. 

This was a different kind of cry. It wasn't loud or angry or messy. It was filled with disappointment. Filled with lust and sadness. Small whines left my throat as I held my body in my own arms. I fell over onto my side and held myself. 

My head reminded me that he would never like me the way I like him. My thoughts repeated the same words I had always known. The same ones I told myself so long ago. 

You will always be alone. 

~~~~~

Sorry for putting angst so early into the story. Personally, I hate reading angst. But god how I love writing it. Also, I decided to sort of change up the sort of trauma y/n has. Well more like adding onto it. So reminder that this trauma is based on my own but extended for story purposes. 

Okay, that's it! Hope you enjoyed it!