The unexpected e-mail from Kunikida-san was not something I would have liked to read early in the morning. I had not met or even talked with Atsushi since that disaster day, and now after 3 years, when the boy-as phrased by Kunikida-san-'has less time left', I was going to meet him. Reading the mail itself went like a blur, what I picked up is that Atsushi has been diagnosed with Lymphoma half a year back. By that time it had already reached stage 4 and spread to his lungs and liver. Doctors tried medication, chemotherapy but stage 4 was too big of an adversary. And finally, Atsushi's last wish was not something grand and luxurious, it was spending some time with me. I was stunned. Stunned on many levels.The mail was a lot. The words 'has less time left' pained me, they somehow rang like the sound of breaking glass. It pained me that I did not reach out to them earlier, I wish I wasn't Atsushi's last wish, that it wasn't stage-4, I wish it was just the way it was when we were kids, when we met every day and life wasn't so depressing. I ended up staring at the laptop screen for way longer than necessary, I don't know what was I searching for in that mail. At that moment, I wished I could cry as easily as Atsushi did, at least my heavy heart would find release in those tears.
Presently, I am aggressively packing my bag. I called Kunikida-san earlier, he sounded tired and broken...heart-wrenchingly sad. Kunikida-san is probably the best dad ever, after his wife passed away due to illness, he adopted the 5yr old Atsushi and 1yr old Kyouka and loved them beyond any measure. I had to say, this man has just seen too much death in his life, his strength and capacity to love are boundless.
What I was doing what not packing but rather aggressively shoving stuff in a bag whilst keeping a poker face. I was obviously in a hurry, at this point each second meant a lot. I was putting a grey shirt in my bag when my cousin Kouyou came to tell me that she will drive me to the station. I nodded a small thanks. It has been a year now I've been living with my cousin, another 'family disappointment' because her partner is a female. Even though she is a high ranking police officer and Yosano ane-san is a forensics expert, they are still 'disappointments'. I sighed.
Once I was ready to go, I felt an odd nervousness. I wasn't sure about Atsushi had changed in these 3 years, how he looked like now, what to say when I meet him, I wasn't sure about anything! I just felt more nervous now...
Kouyou nee-san dropped me off at the station, wishing me good luck. I knew the address very well. I felt...giddy..? In any case, I was in my own way excited I am meeting him after so long, but the situation in which I was, stabbed me again. I wanted to meet him as my old friend and my only love, not as a dying patient.
During the train journey, I remembered when I met Atsushi for the first time. It was years back. We were tiny back then and his family moved in as our neighbors. They had come to visit us that day. Kyouka was too young to talk sense and Atsushi too shy. Maybe I was glaring at him, but in any case, he sweetly smiled at me and waved a small hello. I don't remember what happened after that but I till this day remember how cute and soothing that small gesture was. From that day onwards we promised to be together forever. That of course didn't last, why did I not make it last?
I have reached the address, it's 2 in the afternoon and am currently standing in front of the apartment door like a fool too nervous to press the bell. I bought some white spider lilies, last I knew Atsushi loved those. I looked at them, took a deep breath, and pressed the bell. I don't know why but I felt like running away for a moment.
The door was opened by Kunikida-san. He gave me a weak smile and greeted me, "Ah! Akutagawa, come inside! Atsushi is in his room...wait, I'll tell him you came. Please wash your hands though." He pointed towards the basin inside the bathroom and disappeared inside the house. I entered, washed my hands and sat down on the couch, and took the familiar scene in. This was the house where I spent hours of my day as a child. This house was more of a home for me than my parent's house will ever be. I was hit by a wave of nostalgia.
I was basking in the silence when I heard a soft voice say, "Akutagawa-san...how have you been?" It was Kyouka, I remembered how eerily silent this girl sometimes was. I observed how tired she looked and...had she been crying? Her eyes seemed swollen. "Good...you?" I said.
Sometimes I found a part of me reflected in her. Calm and silent and would fight the whole world for Atsushi. "Suffering...you should've returned earlier Akutagwa-san." She replied softly. My thin eyebrows twitched and before I could say anything Kunikida-san came in. "Come on Akutagawa, he's ready to meet you."I got up and followed him to Atsushi's room. I was beyond nervous now, I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. That must've shown on my face because I heard Kunikida-san reassuring, "It's all right boy, he's happy you came here to stay over, don't meet him looking like you'll throw up." I coughed out, "Ah..no, yes, I mean sorry.."
Wow, that was such a huge success. Kunikida-san let out a light laugh. That kind of calmed me down. Kunikida-san led me to Atsushi's bedroom, the door was already open. My chest felt tight, but I really wanted to see him once more. I entered the room, and my heart stopped for a moment.
It really was Atsushi, sitting on his bed inside a pile of blankets, propped up on pillows. With that sweetest smile in the world plastered on his face, he looked beautiful, he waved a small hello towards me. He looked fragile, pale, and angelic and I wanted to hold him, touch him and be with him forever. I couldn't stop staring until his sweet voice broke me from my reverie. He chuckled out "Stop staring and say something Ryuu!" what was I to say, I am spellbound and speechless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Oof! It's a challenge writing from Aku's perspective...anyways, hope you liked it!
And yes, votes and comments are always appreciated..
YOU ARE READING
Tick Tock
FanfictionLoving Atsushi was Akutagawa's only wish. But, loving Akutagawa was Atsushi's last wish. (This is my first time writing fanfic, if mistakes found, please don't flame me...I'm still learning.)