Tick Tock

Chapter 4- Last Tick

The next day Atsushi woke up late. Quite late actually, it was nearly noon. And, he woke up somehow weaker than before. When he brushed his teeth and came out of the room, he smiled awkwardly and greeted everyone in the living room, "Good morning! Even though it's hardly morning anymore; breakfast is gone, sadly." He slowly sat down beside me on the couch.

"You slept for 16 hours...what are you? A baby?!" I said.

"Shut up, Akutagawa!" He pouted; that was too cute.

I smiled at that and said, "If you are hungry, there are some waffles left, I-

Before I could complete it, Kunikida-san cut me off, "No waffles in the afternoon Atsushi, you have a strict routine and diet you need to follow..." He paused and lifted his eyes from the laptop he was working with on the dining table and then said the rest in a softer voice, "But for now, I can give you some, If you would like that."

"Really?! But, no...It's torturous to deal with eating sweet stuff at the wrong timings. Vomiting, stomach ache, and feeling like dying, oof! And anyway I am not hungry."

"You, not hungry? Interesting." I commented.

He punched me lightly, "Loss of appetite. Being this near to death does that to you..." He mused.

A stab again. I wanted to punch the shit out of his cancer. God, please! Give me my happy, healthy, and stupid and coward Atsushi back! I don't want anything else. At least tell me why am I being punished? Why are Kyouka and Kunikida-san being punished? Why are people who love with heart and soul always punished?!

I noticed Kunikida-san's sad gaze over Atsushi, and before things could get more morbid, I blurted out, "Hey, wanna do something today?"

He snapped out of whatever world he was lost in and replied, "Eh? something to do...oh! We can have the date we never had! Binge-watch something maybe and the talk for hours! Of course, if you want that, I won't force you or anything, that would not be nice...so what do you think??" He looked at me with enthusiasm and waited for a reply.

I heard Kunikida-san chuckle, and I desperately tried to hide the blush I could feel on my face by looking down at the book I was reading earlier. I coughed and replied. "What do you want to watch?"

"Hmm, Lord of the Rings along with The Hobbit, the whole series!" He smiled and replied.

I agreed to that and we got up. He went towards his room, I was about to follow him when Kunikida-san said, "Akutagawa, come here for a minute." I turned towards him. "Please look out for the signs. If he complains of any physical pain or seems not fine, you have let me know," he instructed.

"Yes." I nodded. Atushi entered again with a bunch of DVDs and sat on the couch again. "Put this in the player." He handed me one of them. "Ah! I have medicines to take, wait a minute I'll be right back."

"Wait, I'll bring them to you." It was Kyouka. She must've come out of her when she heard Atsushi.

We started to watch the movies in some time. Somehow after it started, we were too engrossed in it. Atsushi, being Atsushi was vocal throughout the whole thing. I loved the nostalgic and light feeling, maybe I just loved Atsushi beside me. I also noticed how much Atushi scratched himself.

We had to take a break to eat lunch and more meds for Atsushi. After a few hours, Kunikida-san and Kyouka left to buy some groceries. They told us it might take some time, and to call us immediately when something was wrong. Emphasis on immediately.

We were at the third movie when I noticed Atsushi was quite and looked feverish, or fatigued. He looked not fine. He was on the end of the couch resting on the armrest, breathing from his mouth, and looking out of the balcony behind the dining table, I paused the movie and moved towards him. "Hey...you okay?" I slowly took his hand in mine. His fingertips were too cold. I checked his forehead; yes, there was no doubt he had a fever.

"Atsushi, I'm calling Kunikida-san. Come on, let's get you to your room. I got up with his hands still in mine when I heard him say, "The setting sun in Yokohama is always beautiful, it doesn't need the sea, the bridge, or Tsurumi to look beautiful, it's always enough by itself. Right?"

He faced me and gave me a weak smile. I didn't know how to reply to that, he seemed so fragile and weak, yet so beautiful.
he opened his mouth again, "Take me to the balcony Ryuu..."

My heart pained a bit at his 'Ryuu' but I did not want matters to get out of hand, "Atsushi, let me take you to your room, please." I pressed again, my voice was barely a whisper.

"Akutagawa, just five minutes please, just five...I want to see the sunset." He pleaded. I was not able to say no. How could I say no to a dying boy begging for time? "Okay..." I whispered.

He got up. He was light as a feather, but for him every breath, every step was agonizingly heavy. The weight of his disintegrating body was heavy. When we reached the balcony, he slowly sat down on a chair, I stood behind him. He looked at the sunset and sighed.
"Akutagawa, do you remember the time when I confessed to you?"

How could I forget? My chest felt tight.
"Near Tsurumi river, during the sunset, I practically yelled it. I didn't expect you to accept it. You were glowing that day. The soft sunlight reflecting off your face and the dust of pink on your cheeks, yes, you were glowing."

So was he, flushed face and stuttering voice, my  Atsushi is beautiful.
I was choking up.

"Ryuu, you are beautiful." He breathed out. Pause.

"Atsushi, I love you," I said out. I felt a bit light after saying that out.
He chuckled

"Hmm. I know."

"You know Akutagawa, there's an irony to living. Something has to die for something to live on, just like the cells have to die for the body to live. And it's painful to live with your cells eating your body away. To die out with every breath, it's painful to die this slowly and not live." He breathed out.
"Look, the sunset will end, the night will come." He finished.

It was peaceful, the birds returning to their nests, the sky blazing in reds, oranges and flaked with blues, the white noise of the city, and Atsushi's breaths. That one moment felt like forever, a constant that would never change.

"Atsushi...please, let's go inside." I broke the silence. My voice was broken and; emotional.

"Dammit, Akutagawa...how much time do I have left anyways; what point does it make to bother people now. I have to die slowly, at least let me live a bit more! Please...please..." He started to sniffle. That same heart-wrenching sound of his sadness and fear.
I crouched in front of him and started to wipe his tears, my chest hurt and I was choking on sorrow. "Shh...calm down, calm down, Atsushi."

"Even crying and laughing hurts...Loving hurts...breathing hurts..." He gasped out in short breathes.

He eventually calmed down and was breathing heavily. I rested my head on his lap. I could feel his thin hands fluttering through my hair.

His fever...I had to get up.

I raised my head but, before I could say anything, I heard a whisper, "Can I have one kiss?" I looked at him for a minute. That was not a good idea.
I nodded yes.
I knew I could not say no. This might be the last, the most sorrowful, the most emotional. I could not say no.

I raised my head touched our lips. It was soft, it was sad. It was the last. We melted into each other's lips, maybe so we never forget the feeling, never cut the thread joining us even when death do us part.

Atsushi was soon gasping for breath again. We broke the kiss, but still kept our foreheads connected. A promise to always keep the thread connected.

Soon enough, I got Atsushi up and put him down on his bed, and tucked him in and he fell asleep in no time. I gave a call to Kunikida-san. And sat down on the floor beside his sleeping body.

I looked up at his pale face, just a few shades alive than his hair. I looked at the silent sleeping figure of Atsushi and clutched one of his hands. I recalled the face of the cute tiny child Atsushi. The shy teenager with kind eyes, radiant face, tall and lean, the one I fell in love with. I started to tear up because every ticking second this beautiful boy was slipping away from this beautiful body of his.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Get ready for sadness...anyways I hope the sadness is well written here. If you think it is do leave votes and comments...thank you!