Perfect

Chapter 6

As I lay there in silence, the only sound I can hear is my sister singer Little Mix badly in the background, I start thinking about the night before. Jason only wanted a quick fuck, obviously thinking I was easy after a few drinks when I am anything but.

I wonder what Arthur sees in me and why he has stayed with me for the past 3 years. I don't put out, we do stuff but rarely. I like to just snuggle and watch movies, I enjoy just being together. I'm not wanted to fumble around every 5 minutes.

I'm not pretty, I'm flat chested, short & shy. Why would he want me out of all the girls that are an option to him. The pretty girls that would do whatever he wanted them to.

"He picked you" I remind myself. I thank my lucky stars everyday that he chooses me to spend his life with.

I'm startled out of my thoughts by my phone buzzing on my bedside table. It's Arthur, I quickly pick up the phone grinning ear to ear.

"Get your wellies on girl, we are going for a walk I'm outside".

I look outside my bedroom window and true to his word he is there, handsome as ever in his wellies and a khaki puffer jacket, smiling up at me. I run downstairs grabbing my walking coat and shove on my hunter wellies.

I shout to my Dad who is watching football again, he is obsessed " I'm going on a walk with Arthur".

I leave before he even replies but I know he has heard me. He has an incredible sense of hearing, like a bloody dog nothing gets past him. I remember trying to sneak out once when I was about 13 so I could spend the night with Arthur. We was supposed to be going on some adventure together, no idea where but at the time it sounded great, we just wanted to be together. I didn't even get to the bottom of the stairs before I heard him shout "get back in bed young lady". He wasn't cross at me at all just laughing at the fact I got caught! I love him, such a funny man.

The sun is shining down and it's a lovely crisp day.I can feel the warmth of the sun on my face and it feels so good, instantly lifts your mood when the sun is out.

It's still March but the daffodils are out already and they are stunning. We have a little perfect spot we go to every year, hundreds of daffodils bloom together creating a sea of yellow, it is one of my most favourite places to visit. I look forward to it every year, we spend hours there just chatting and appreciate the beauty together.

I've always loved being outdoors, I think growing up in the country you just learn to love the outdoors or you live one miserable life. I really appreciate my village, its picturesque and I love it. I'm definitely a country girl not a city girl.

"So my gorgeous girl, how was the party last night?".

Awful, some guy tried to kiss me and put his hand up my skirt and I fell asleep under a blanket with William. Arthur wouldn't be cross at the William thing but would be pretty pissed at the Jason thing. I think he would flip his lid actually. I wouldn't blame him, I always moan about how Jason's a male whore.

"Great, I really enjoyed myself" I swallow the guilt I feel for lying to him but he has nothing to worry about, I'm not going anywhere.

"Good, how come you got changed into that dress?"

"What? How do you know I got Changed?"

"Elsie uploaded a picture on instagram"

Instagram, a place where people lived the 'perfect' life. Filters and fakeness. A world of completely unrealistic lives. A place to brag and show off all the good things you have done in  life and never the real things, the sad times. I get that you wouldn't post the bad things that happen in life but people should know they do happen. People are washed away in the perfection of other peoples lives, how much money they have, how their parents own a big house of how perfect their figure is. Admire other people yes, even compliment them but don't try and be them. Nobodies life is as perfect as they make out.

I grab my phone out of my coat pocket and search Elsies name. I pull up the picture and there I am, drunk in that hideous outfit. The caption reads 'My bestie after I sorted her out'.

"You look, well Lucy you look fucking hot" Arthur says looking over my should at the photo drooling in my ear.

Did he like that did he, short red dresses making me look like a hooker.

"No I look like a slag, I hate it"

"Why did you wear it then?"

"Elsie made me, she hated my outfit and made me get changed"

Arthur doesn't say much, but then he never does when I speak about Elsie. He almost defends her sometimes saying he is sure she doesn't mean anything by it.

He always sees the best in people but sometimes I just wish he would be that protective boyfriend and loose his shit over it storm round there and have it out with her. Although on the other hand I'm glad he doesn't do that because I want the rest of my school life to be as easy as possible so I can make college.

The rest of the walk I'm quiet, I feel embarrassed by the photo uploaded.It's not me, why couldn't my friends like me for me. I look really drunk and I'm ashamed. I feel guilty for not telling Arthur about Jason but I know it was just a drunken thing and I didn't do anything myself so there isn't that much to say really. It would only make him worry and I don't want him to.

We reach the woods, it's full of daffodils and its breathtaking. I am sure every year they become more yellow and even more beautiful. We have a little fallen down tree we always sit on to enjoy our afternoons spent here. Sometimes we bring a flask of hot chocolate, people say we are like a little old couple. The scenery instantly lifts my mood up making me forget about Elsie, Jason and the rest of them. I start to look forward to the rest of the day ahead.

Arthur's pours me a cup of hot chocolate from the flask and hands it to me. Taking the cup I sit myself down next to Arthur, I lovingly look at him. He means the world to me, I didn't even know I would ever feel like this, he is the one.

"I'm ready" I say.

He looks at me confused before asking "ready for what?".

"To, you know, do it" I can't even say the word sex right now. But I am ready, I think, well I need to be because once Arthur goes off to college he will be partying more and that will be it. I'll loose him to some easy girl who isn't as shy as me.

"What? Are you sure Lucy, you know there's no rush I'm happy to wait" his eyes have popped out of his head and I'm not convinced if I take back what I just said he wouldn't be cross.

"Don't you want to then Arthur, I thought you wanted to"

"Oh I do, I am so ready but I am also happy to wait for you darling"

"Nope I am ready, your parents are away next weekend so perhaps at yours because nobody will be home"

"Sure Lucy, if that's what you want"

I feel a huge sense of relief, I feel like now The words have left my mouth I will have to do it, there's no going back. I have no choice, well I do but I am not one to go back on her word.

The nerves are kicking in already but that is to be expected. I've been with Arthur for over 3 years now, there is nobody else I would want to give myself to and I know he feels the same. It makes me feel better than he has never had sex before because then there is no comparison. I hope I'm good, I don't even know how to be good. All these thoughts are swimming around in my head and I feel like I'm going to drown in them.

Should I ask Elsie for advice, or perhaps I could speak to William. He is someone I think will give me good advice about this and perhaps I won't feel shy to talk about stuff like this with him. Plus it might be interesting to get a mans point of view.

In a weeks time I will no longer be that stupid little virgin that everybody laughs at and shuts out of sex conversations because I can't relate. I would be a woman, a proper woman just like all the other girls are.