Perfect

Chapter 13

I'm awoken my the sound of my phone buzzing. It's the 12th time in the past 5 minutes it's rung, it's Arthur. I wish he would just fuck off and leave me alone.

William walked me home last night, it took 3 hours, his mother then picked him up. I am so thankful for his friendship, i am lucky to have such a good friend.

We spoke about everything possible but mainly about the deceit I have endured from Arthur. We laughed, I cried a lot but most importantly we listened to each other.

He tried to get me to see Arthur's deceit from Arthur's point of view. That perhaps he wanted to try it but didn't want me to know about it incase it made my opinion of him change. It was too late, my opinion has changed, my Arthur wouldn't take drugs but more importantly he wouldn't lie to me.

My phone is buzzing again. Reaching over to it I reluctantly press the green button.

"What, what do you want?"

"I'm sorry darling" he says, his voice cracking whilst trying to apologise.

"Sorry, you're sorry. Well you know something Arthur, I'm sorry. Sorry I ever fucking met you" my body is shaking with anger.

"You don't mean that Luce, let's just talk about this please"

"I do mean it, you choose to do drugs with Jason and Elsie of all people last night behind my back. I bet they loved it, moulding you into one of them"

"It's not like that, they were just having some fun with me. No harm done"

I hear the words but can't compose myself to answer. My heart has been broken, the lack of remorse Arthur is showing me only makes the lies hurt even more. The fact he doesn't even realise that he has caused an incredible amount of hurt and harm is saddening.

"Arthur there is harm done and the fact that you don't even realise that tells me everything I need to know, goodbye".

I promptly hang up the phone and turn it off. I don't want to and cannot manage another phone call with him. My emotions are too raw and I need time to process this. He needed to show more remorse, 'no harm done' is he for real.

There's a quiet knock at my door and it opens slowly, my sister slowly creeps in. She got a cup of tea in her hand and a sympathetic smile on her face.

"I made you a tea" she says handing me over the very large mug of tea.

"Thanks, did you bring the biscuits?"

She turns to the side showing the packed of custard creams she has wedged under her arm,

"What's happened? I heard you come in early hours and see it wasn't Arthur that walked you home"

I trust my sister, yes we don't tell each other everything but I know if I confide in her she will keep it to herself.

"Arthur took drugs at the party and lied to me about it" I say, my head hanging shamefully over my tea.

"What the fuck, that little twat. You wait"

"No Emma please don't say anything, I trusted you enough to tell you" I bed, pleading her with my facial expressions.

"I won't, I won't but tell me everything" she says pulling back the edge of my cover as a hint to get in the bed.

We spend the next hour talking about everything over tea and a whole packet of biscuits.  I tell her I've lost my virginity, a little about last night with Elsie, not all the details because she is still my older sister and I think she will kill her. I tell her the pain and embarrassment I felt walking in that room with Arthur taking drugs behind my back. She nods when needed but she stays silent and just listens hugging me when the tears started to fall.

It feels so good to tell someone outside of the situation. Someone who can make their own judgement on what's happened and offer me real advice. My sister hates drugs, she loves to party and drink being nearly 19, but she cannot tolerate drugs.

"You should talk to him"

Has she just listened to what he done last night? "I can't, I'm still really angry and hurt and I can't forgive him, not yet"

"Ok, well don't stew on it for too long, it will eat you up inside. At least hear him out" she says climbing out my bed before grabbing the two empty tea mugs and leaving my bedroom.

I'm not ready to talk to him. Me and Arthur rarely argued, not to the point of no communication. It was unknown territory but I need to ensure I put my feelings first and I want space.

After turning my phone back on, throughout the course of the day Arthur calls and texts countless times. He sends a million sorry texts messages and desperately wants me to talk to him and hear him out. I won't and I will decide if and when I do. I'm not sure if I can ever forgive him for what he has done.