Perfect

Chapter 10

The bright sun is beaming in on the school hall, it has been decorated in bright blue balloons and banners that read 'GOOD LUCK YEAR 11". It is the day I have longed for, the day I have dreamt about so many times, the last day of school.

Leavers assembly to most is an emotional time, the hall is full of sobbing girls hugging each other like they are never going to see each other again. It's the end of 5 years of fun, making memories and life long friends. Not for me though, for me it was the end of a unwanted, negative chapter to my life, one  I wanted to forget. Years of bullying and being picked on and moulded into a girl I wasn't and someone I didn't want to be.

The past few months have been the hardest for me, I had seen an change in myself, my family had seen a change in me and so had Arthur. When someone beats you down  so much you can't help but think perhaps what they say has some truth behind it. I think it becomes so ingrained in your mind you honestly start to believe there is some truth behind it.

When the bullying was at it's worse i felt like my life wasn't worth living. There was one week where I just binge ate the sweetest things I could find, chocolate, sweets, ice cream and I drank a lot of milkshake. I felt so sick after I stuck my fingers down my throat, partly in an attempt to get out of school but also to perhaps loose some weight. Truth is I only done it the once, my Mum knew exactly what I had done and then wouldn't leave me alone.

I was living like a big brother contestant, being watched 24/7. The cupboards were locked and I had to ask for food then eat it downstairs. Mum and Dad came to check on me every 5 minutes, it got a little annoying but I knew they just cared.

Things have have settled down now, it took me a few long weeks of tears but I am here now. With the support of my family & Arthur I felt I could deal with the shit and move forward. I had to, I was falling into a pit and I had to drag myself out before it was too late.

My lowest point came around because a naked photo of me was plastered all over the internet. It was a photo of me getting changed somewhere. The background was totally blurred out and all that could be seen was my body. My disgusting, flat chested naked body. I still have no idea who took it, where I was when it was taken or anything. It could of been anywhere, school, home, Arthur's or Elsies. Obviously nobody admitted to it and I just had to get over it or dwell upon it. I have an idea though but I have no proof.

My mother never understood how the photo got out there and swore blind I must of known who took it. I think she would of,  no still would actually, kill them. She sobbed with me and held me close when my sister came home showing us the photo someone had sent her. It was humiliating beyond belief, imagine your body plastered out there for the world to see.

Everyone has flaws or something about themselves they perhaps would change. It might be something as little as your hairline but nobody is perfect but they learn to love themselves.

I dislike a lot about myself, I was working hard on it but it was and still is a working progress. When I read the hateful comments of people picking my body apart and making comments on my insecurities I fell apart. Any ounce of self confidence I had built up over the last few months had been shattered into a million pieces.

I am back to building my self confidence back up. I have to list 3 things daily I am thankful for or I love about myself. This is a task set by my Mum. It really does help and has made me realise there is so many positives about my body. My eyes for example people always comment on how blue my eyes are, or the few freckles that cover my nose, I used to hate them but I have recently learned to love them. If you don't love yourself nobody else will.

"Is Arthur still coming tonight" Elsie whispers.
"Yes he is, he is looking forward to it"

There is a huge leavers party tonight and Arthur is coming with me. He has been spending quite a bit of time with my friends over the past few months. I think to support me and perhaps as an attempt to ensure I kept some kind of social life and left my tiny little bedroom. I'd been hooked on watching endless episodes of friends, no matter how many times you watch that it never gets old. He has actually grown to like my friends and they like him too. He has become the 8th member of the group and it was nice to have him there.

We have taken a step forward in our relationship, spending time in social situations together, obviously slept together and we are so excited about college. I think we are just at a positive place after a hard few weeks and it feels good. I feel now I am in a grown up relationship, just felt more mature. Arthur's parents have been working away a lot so I have spend quite a bit of time there which has been really nice.

Arthur's parents work with cars, expensive cars. I'm not sure exactly what they do but I think it's something to do with importing cars. I have asked before and his Dad has gone into so much detail about what they do, but I got lost so just nodded along politely and tried to show an interest.

Arthur's Mum Hazel is a workaholic, they both are but she is always on the phone, typing away on her laptop or out at a meeting. Arthurs Dad Frank is the boss, he makes the final decisions.

They are  both very well kept, they suit each other. Hazel is always looking glam, not over the too glam but effective . Her clothes and appearance is always perfect, no creases or a hair out of place. My parents have been friends with them since they moved into the area when we was 3. They spend so much time together which is really nice for Arthur and i.

Jason and Elsie have fizzled out now and he is back to his old self, although I never think he stopped but Elsie seems to think he did. They remained amicable and it kind of kept the peace within the group. She has been less of a whore recently and spent a lot of time just chilling with the group rather than shagging in one of the bedrooms.

Her and Jade are still the same, still digging me out about my appearance although not when Arthurs around which I'm happy about, I'm unsure how he would react. I have started to wear a small bit of make up to parties though and even invested in a tan, they liked that and I must admit I did feel good when I made the effort. Arthur really liked me making an effort as well he often commented on my make-up.

I know people think it's weird that they treat me so poor and I stick with them but honestly I'm too scared to make the break. The pain I will endure just by leaving that group will be unbearable so I would rather just see it out until college.

"So year 11 for the final time, you are dismissed" the head teacher cheers.

The whole year is cheering  and jumping up and down now. The sound echos through the hall, everyone starts hugging each other whilst crying their eyes out. I'm smiling ear to ear, my grin is uncontrollable, I can feel my eyes filling up with tear, tears of joy and happiness that I have reached the end. Even the teachers are crying, they have witnessed us all go from scared little 11 year olds into teenagers, all the mood swings and bodily changes to go with it!

It was the end, the end of high school. God this feels amazing, I will never have to spend another day in school, only to collect my results in the summer but that wouldn't take 5 minutes. I have been subject to 5 years of Seeing Elsie daily, being picked on daily. Yes I will still see her for the hundreds of parties planned over the summer but that is tolerable because I would have Arthur by me to defend my corner. Goodbye high school!