𝟑𝟎 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 | semishira!

𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟎.

What did Tendo see the day after he died? Did he wake up in an empty hospital bed as if nothing happened? Did he wander the halls mindlessly when no one came to check up on him, did he notice the darkness on everyone's faces when he entered the room where he stood? Did Tendo watch the sun rise in the sky over the tall mountains and peak? That one moment when you look at something so pure and think, only for a split second, that being alive isn't so bad after all? Did he notice the ways the leaves on the orange tree outside of my house ripened, and how the perfect fruit called you to pick it off of its branches? Did he notice me as I stood upon that high building, ready to jump? Did he call for me not to, or did he want me to join him in the great beyond? Does he still think of me up there?

Ino and I sit on the edge of the stairs, closer than normal friends are. We've been talking for an hour, and something in my heart feels warm and tingly, like fire. Her eyes are dull and she looks tired. Her smile isn't as bright as it was before, her shining light turned into a dim lull. Still, though, she looks as beautiful as ever. She smokes, and has offered me one, but I politely decline. 

"Hey, Shirabubble?"

"Yeah Ino?"

"I know this is sudden, but...can I kiss you"

"What?!" 

"He...he left me. You're all I have Shirabu, please say yes. I know I'm not good enough for you and you probably hate me. I suck and I...I haven't felt happy since elementary. My parents hate me and I'm never good enough-" I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers.

I just want her to stop

Stop talking, please, Ino

I can't take it

I might cry

She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me back. After a few minutes of making out, our lips part. 

"Wanna have sex with me?"

❝Day 20❞
─30 Days
━━⋆⋅°✧⋅━━━┫⋅✩⋅┣━━━⋅✧°⋅⋆━━
1:05 ───⊙─────── 3:58
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
playιng: Wires -The Neighbourhood
volυмe : ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇▉

Shirabu has been weird ever since last night when we finally kissed again. I can't help but feel I did something to offend him. He looks a little inside, a little numb.

Am I not enough?

Shirabu and I sit together in art class, and he acts fine, but his eyes tell a different story. He looks tired and it's only been a day. 

"Are you okay?" I ask during practice. Shirabu is panting more than usual and it's worrying me. 

"Just having an off day," he admits. 

"Take a break, please?"

"I'm the...setter."

"And I've been a setter longer than you"

"Fuck you"

"Go rest"

"Fine," Shirabu sighs, making his way to the bench. I continue the rest of practice but Shirabu still worries me. After practice, Shirabu still looks down. 

"How about..." I say on our way home, "we do today's task? Will that cheer you up?"

"Semi...it's nothing you can fix"

"I know, but still," I hold my hand out for him. Shirabu looks up at me confusion for a second, and then realizes what I'm suggesting. He takes it with red cheeks and looks the other way. "What's on your mind?"

"Just past...memories"

"Can I chose today's task?"

"Sure," Shirabu shrugs. 

"There's a railroad not too far from here. Sometimes Tendo and I would scream loudly as it passed by. It really helps"

"Okay," says Shirabu, "let's do that"

The way to the old railroad is silent, and the tension between us won't leave. The soft wind brushes Against Shirabu's face as the sun sets in the sky. My mind wanders back to last night, and I can't help but wonder what I did. 

I didn't hurt him in any way, did I?

When I look back at Shirabu, he's just staring at his shoes trudging on the concrete pavement. I let go of his hand and wrap it around his shoulder, pulling him close to me. Shirabu leans his head on my shoulder as we walk on the small road, surrounded by green grass and a small butterfly flapping its wings in the sky. The sun continues to set below the horizon when we reach the train station. We set our bags down, and a few minutes later, I hear a roaring in the distance. 

"Okay, when it passes by, scream as loud as you can"

Shirabu nods and closes his eyes

The train is loud

So loud

At the screeching sound of the tracks, both of us yell into the night sky as loud as we can, filling the air with our screams. I scream for Tendo, for hurting Shirabu. I scream for all the mistakes I've made, and all of the ones I'm bound to make. They echo into the night sky as the train leaves, puffing smoke into the air as we are left in silence. Shirabu pants, his hands falling to his kneecaps. He looks up at me once more and tackles me with a hug, pushing me to the ground. 

"Thanks...I needed that"

"Anything for you baby," I reply. 

"Ew no, that's a horrible couple name," Shirabu retorts. 

"Then what do you want me to call you"

"Anything but that"

"Okay Shittybu," I joke. 

"Fine, Semicircle"

"Okay okay. Shirababy?" Shirabu nuzzles his face into my chest. "I guess it's decided then"

"Noooooo"

"Yes"

"Fuck youuuuuuuu"

"Yeah yeah. Just know I'm here for you too, okay? Even if you can't talk about it"

"Thanks Semicircle"

"Anything for you"

some hurt/comfort because this is a filler and the chapter after the next is gonna get 
h e a t e d