𝟑𝟎 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 | semishira!

𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟑.

TW: mentions of suicide, self harm, eating disorders, panic attack and sexual harassment

What do we do with the love we have for someone? How do we show them how much we care, without being scared that they'll leave us? Why can't we stop thinking about yesterday and tomorrow? How do we just stay present in today?

Ino doesn't come to school the next day, or the day after. As I pass through the halls I see her boyfriend making out for another girl. 

We weren't perfect

Not even close

So why does my heart still break?

I slump in my chair when lunch hits. My friends don't notice the dullness in my eyes, the blankness in my stare. They don't see the single tear that falls from my cheek. I don't touch my food. 

School seems to take forever to end, and I'm stuck in this loop of haziness. Everything moves in slow motion. How is she okay with this? With everything that happens?

Her house isn't far from mine,  so I dread passing by it when walking home. There are a group of girls behind me gossiping. My ears perk up when I hear Ino's name. As we walk through the suburbs, I try to listen in. 

"She's just an attention whore, I mean one time I saw her puking her food in the toilet."

"Her boyfriend doesn't even like her."

"She's so fake."

"It's just because of her rack."

"Have you seen how he grabs her? The scars on her wrists?"

"Does it matter though? Like it's just for attention, no need to flaunt that you're 'emo' or whatever."

"I heard she cheated on her boyfriend with someone."

"Such a slut..." 

Everything seems to numb, and I tune out of their destructive conversation. I shove my hands in my pockets as I walk alone past her street. When I reach her house, I start to hear sirens echoing through the small neighborhood. My ear perks up and I follow them to Ino's house. My eyes widen, and my knees fall weak as I see someone with blonde hair being rolled on a stretcher. 

Slowly, I see her face turn, barely any light left in her eyes. She notices me, and lets out a gasp. Her hand reaches out, but falls limp in an instant. More paramedics rush to her side and start cpr. I stand about a yard away, watching it all. Then, someone says it. 

"Time of death, 15:34"

"Poor girl, committing suicide like that"

"She was an angel"

And now I'm crying and running away

It's all so confusing

She's gone?

In my backpack, I find a note

Hey, Shirabubble

I'm dead now, aren't I? God I'm so fucking sorry for leaving you. You're too vulnerable, Kenjirou. People take advantage of you, like they did to me. So do me a favor and stay strong, okay? Don't let anyone get to you, and hopefully I'll see you soon.

Love,
Ino

And that's when I pick up the razor

❝Day 23❞
─30 Days
━━⋆⋅°✧⋅━━━┫⋅✩⋅┣━━━⋅✧°⋅⋆━━
1:05 ───⊙─────── 3:58
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
playιng: As the World Caves In -Matt Maltese
volυмe : ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇▉