(little!Murdoc)
Who knew that a someone so fragile would have so much impact on Stuart.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stu has been very busy recently, most likely the most busy he has ever been. Between work, improving his personal music, and maintaining his distance with the press, he rarely has time to see Murdoc outside of work. Meeting after meeting, lyric after lyric, all that he could think of was spending time with his lovely firecracker of a boyfriend. Sadly, 2D had a meeting with a new vocal coach the day that he thought he was free to see Murdoc. An hour passes then another and then another. Needless to say, Murdoc was not having it. They had planned this day out for weeks and he just doesn't show up? His anxiety was through the roof and suddenly he asked himself...
"Am I really that unlovable..?"
Anger and sadness washed over him. He stormed into his (surprisingly clean) room and sat still, staring at his knees. His favorite stuffie was the only thing that really kept him company in moments like this.Moments where he felt alone, broken, overwhelmed. Before he knew it, he began to cry. And he cried,
and cried,
and cried some more.
Until a familiar ding! made him come back to Earth from his crying spell.
Murdoc quickly dried his tears, allowing himself to at least get a glimpse at the message.
IDIOT <3 :"Hi love! I'll be there to see you this afternoon! Things got a bit hectic with the new vocal coach today, but I will be there soon. I love u <3"
A deep sigh of relief escaped from his lungs. He is told every day that he is loved and needed, but it gets so hard to believe sometimes. Murdoc never wanted to seem like a burden on Stu so he attempted to get himself together, then he began to regress. It has been weeks, no, months since he was last able to fully regress. He grabbed his phone and decided to text back his lover as quickly as he could.
"you no love me no more and the vocal coach is a meanie and I can't stand them."
The now little Muds sat hugging his stuffie as hard as he could. Then... The tears began to fall again. It seems like all people that come into Murdoc's life disappear before he even notices they are there and that is his worst fear in their relationship.
Abandonment.
Stu was rushing towards his Uber when he heard the soft humming of his phone. He brushed it off until he got seated in the cozy-ish car. After telling the driver Murdoc's address, he got his phone out to pass the time and then he saw the message Murdoc sent back in response to his message. His heart completely shattered. He can always tell how his boyfriend was feeling, and now he feels extremely guilty. The poor boy is probably crying over him being so late without a warning beforehand.
"Excuse me? Could we maybe speed up a little? My partner is sick and needs me." Stu blurted out in an attempt to not get kicked out for being rude. The older driver looked back and nodded with a slight smile. Stu knew how Murdoc could be. He would always put on a "tough guy" persona in public, yet the second they are alone he's the most gentle and precious person he's ever met. He continues to sit there staring out of the window watching all of the scenery quickly pass as he questioned how to make this up to Murdoc. Needless to say, he was in the dog house right about now for not telling him about his last minute plans.
Just as he thought he couldn't get to their place any faster, the driver stopped in front of their apartment. Stuart prepaid (thank goodness) so all he did was give a subtle nod and a thank you to his driver. His feet moved quickly, scared of what would happen if he wasn't there when Murdoc was upset, little, and alone. After what seemed to be an eternity of being apart, 2d broke through their door slightly panting due to his efforts to get there as fast as possible.
the sight before him just broke his heart even more.
Murdoc sat in the living room in his lover's sweatshirt, tightly holding his stuffie against his chest. Light sobs and hiccups were filling the air. Stu has never felt more awful. He sat down behind him and wrapped his arms around Murdoc. The dark haired man began to sob harder and touched his caregivers hand lightly as if he were checking to see if he was really there.
"Hi baby, please don't cry. I'm here."
Murdoc turned his head around, his black bangs falling in front of his drained complexion and his poor reddened eyes, and gently whispered.
"i thought you leave me forever and not want me no more since i'm mean and a bad boy and -"
2d hushed him and sat him in his lap, coddling him tight against his chest.
"Muds, I am here for you. Always. I will never leave you. How could I leave the love of my life? You're my light in this fucked up world. I am sorry for not telling you earlier -"
Murdoc sobs began to fade away. As he gently rubbed his head against his caregivers chest, a devilish smile formed on his lips.
"Daddy you say bad word say sorry pease or I won't give you any kithes."
"Oh! i'm sorry angel, Daddy was just worried about you. Come here."
Stu ran his slender hand against his little's cheek and pulled him close.
The kiss was sweet. Passionate. Everything that has been built up over these few weeks was finally being unraveled and displayed. Muds loved how Stu made him feel. He always made him feel so special, like the entire world didn't matter as long as he has him. Murdoc smiled and pulled away gently.
"I've missed you so much Muds."
"I miss you mostest ever and ever."
The bluenette ran his fingers through his lover's hair to soothe him even more. His poor baby has cried so much today. He just seemed exhausted. He sat up causing Murdoc to groan and whine. 2d got his baby boy a sippy full of water, some animal crackers, and most importantly his favorite paci.
Murdoc sat up eyeing his boyfriend with tired eyes. He handed him his water and the two sat still. Simply enjoying one another's company.
"Daddy?"
"Yes baby?"
"Can I have paci and you pease?"
Stuart let out a chuckle, "Yes angel you can."
He gave his lover his pacifier and cuddled up against him. The warmth, the excess crying, and his early start this morning made Murdoc simply melt into sleep. 2d simply kissed his forehead and whispered,
"I will always want you and you alone."
