Once In A Blue Moon

03 Honor

Above all, don't plant me inside your heart. I'd outgrow you.

— Rainer Maria Rilke

☾

The feeble rays of early morning sun does nothing to warm her skin, surfing over the texture of the clouds to enhance their brilliance, making their appearance half golden, half silver. Her gaze keeps colliding with them before returning to her, empty and broken, just like her thoughts.

Banafsha sighs and rests her head against the frame of the wall-window overlooking the garden, watching her niece and nephew chase around the peacocks. How carefree, she thinks. Why can't she feel the same?

Her niece, Abeer, falls to the ground. She straightens in concern but smiles when she watches her huff, pushing herself up and rubbing her knees, puffing her cheeks and glaring at the peacock furiously.

"Just like her father," Banafsha mumbles to herself before her nephew comes running to her.

"Afsha!" He reaches for her hand and she lets him take it, kneeling down in front of him.

"Yes, jaan?"

"Help us catch it," he tugs her to go with him, pointing towards the peacock.

"Wali," she gently releases her hand from his grip, "I can't."

"But why?"

"I'm really tired."

The four year old looks up at her with pleading eyes, repeating, "But why?"

"Well," she searches her brain for an excuse, "I've been working," she tells him half a truth. She has been working her mind for the last few days.

"But you've been standing here," Wali points out.

"Yes, because I'm on a break now." She starts fixing his hair. "But you don't have to catch it, zaar. You just play tag with it."

Wali just shakes his head in refusal and she flicks his nose.

"Afsha!" Now Abeer joins in too, rushing towards them. "I'm hungry."

"Me too!" Wali adds.

"Where are both of your parents?" She stands up and turn around only to find Nufail walking towards her. He smiles when their eyes meet.

"The kids are bothering you?" he asks lightly.

She shrugs and crosses her arms. "One is enough. Two are handful."

"Wait till you get your own," he bugs and she rolls her eyes, waving off his statement.

"I still need to get used to my siblings' children around the house, let alone have mine. Why did both Mughis lala and Pari had to get married together, and then coincidently have kids at the same time too?"

Nufail chuckles softly at her remark. "God's will. What can we do?"

"They're lucky I like them, even though their parents definitely aren't on the top of my favorites list."

"Does that list even exist?" Nufail teases. "Who the blessed ones are named there?"

"Me and myself," she jokes back and Nufail laughs now.

"Baba?" Wali holds up his hands for his father to take him. He picks him up in his arms.

"Yes, bachey (my child)?"

"I'm hungry," he whines. "Abeer is hungry too."

Nufail kisses his son on the cheek and calls over to a servant. "Take the kids to their mothers."