Once In A Blue Moon

30 Moments

What really matters are good endings, not flawed beginnings.

— Ibn Taymiyyah

☾

"I never asked you about your favorite flowers, did I?"

Some moments are like a dip in time where a feeling freezes, sinking in the soul, then staying stagnant there until the soul is no more, and then evaporating in the air to settle in another heart. Some moments are like glass shards being scratched over skin to make their marks-- scars that stay forever for us to remember.

Zohal clutches to him with her small arms held tightly around his neck and her face buried in the crook of his it. He pats her back as she yawns and nuzzles in shirt sleepily, her small body completely wrapped up in his arms. She grumbles something to him which he doesn't catch, too fixated on his wife's figure. The child pulls away to taps his jaw with her tiny fingers in an attempt to get his attention.

"Even if I did, I don't remember. I'm sorry."

Mikael gently rocks his daughter up and down and pecks her head when she squirms in his hold, trying to get down now. He stands a few feet away from Banafsha and Zimal are sitting beside the grave under the cherry tree where Zoraiz is buried. Instead of burying him in their family's graveyard, they buried him in one of their gardens at the countryside where he lies alone with the nature.

No matter how long it has been, each time he comes with Banafsha here, or even when miles away from this place, whenever she speak of her brother the pain in her eyes turn them glossy and it makes him feel like someone is trampling over his sore nerves. Some wounds, he has learned, never closes. We've to numb ourselves to the agony they illicit.

"I've brought you lilies again, my favorite. And I know I've been bringing you these for the last five years, but if someday I like anything more than these, I'll bring you those then."

Banafsha gestures to Zimal who has a bouquet of lilies with her to put them over his grave; she does so and both of them raises up their hands to their faces to make prayers.

"Baba," Zohal whines and tries to slip down from his arms. Mikael tries to calm her.

"Shh, jaan, mama is praying."

She shushes down and stares at him as if to decipher the meaning of his words, those big brown eyes blinking at him in puzzlement before she starts struggling to get down again.

"Zohal, qurban zama, please don't."

He bounces her in his arms but eventually gives up against the three year old when she makes her face to cry. Mikael puts her down and she quickly skips towards her mother, throwing herself on her lap.

"Mama." Zohal tugs at Banafsha's sleeve. "My cycle."

Banafsha caresses her face, momentarily pausing her prayer. "It's at home, khwagy."

"I want home."

"Yes, we'll go home now. But we'll pray first, okay?"

She resumes her supplication and Zohal looks between her and Zimal. Then she slowly gets up and goes to sit beside Zimal, mimicking her. Mikael smiles softly at the scene and walks towards them. He sits beside his wife and make his own prayer, asking for God's blessings to be on Zoraiz and his high ranks in paradise. When he's done, he motions for Zimal to take Zohal with her and excuse them.

"Wait for us in the car, zaar."

Zohal quickly scrambles towards him and holds his index finger. "Baba, let's go."