Once In A Blue Moon

06 Promise

And I wondered if a memory is something you have or something you've lost.

— Woody Allen

☾

Do you fall in love often? Do you find reasons often? Do you lose your heart often? Do you dream often? Do you feel things often?

He can never forget the way she would always grin-- it would make her eyes appear into slits. He can never forget how she would always playfully nudge him away whenever he'd joke with her-- the way she'd laugh. She had the genuineness of someone who prefer bare souls over bare bodies. She had the purity of a sinner after repentance. She was rare.

"Mikael?"

He looks up from the baby in his arms to her. "Yes?"

"Do you fall in love often?" she asks him curiously.

"How often are we considering here?"

"As often as I fall in love every time I look at you."

"In that case, I think I fall too often."

She smiles at him softly and scoots closer to him so their knees are touching. "Mikael?"

He hums and smiles back, never breaking eye contact.

"I made a prayer. You think God will fulfill it?"

"If He wills." He reaches forward to graze her cheekbone with his knuckles. "What did you ask Him for?"

"That I never have to live a day without you. That whenever I die, may it be before you."

"Shush." He puts a finger to her lips, suddenly upset. "You don't make such prayers," he scolds, then becomes gentle as he speaks, "Qarar ay zama (you're my solace). How do I live without you?"

She reaches out to hold his face in both of her hands, her gaze sinking into his pupils. "Jaan ay zama (you're my life). How do I live without you?"

He turns his head to kiss her palm and then press his cheek into it. "Why does any of us live without another? Why even consider the possibility?"

She lowers her eyes to their daughter in his arms, her expression becoming raw and damaged. "For Zimal." She looks back up. "Without me, you can still raise her good under your name. But without you, I'm a nobody to raise her under my name."

He feels his heart crack, break, and shatter at her words. He swallows against his constricted throat and croaks out, "Do you lose your heart often?"

"Why?" she asks in a whisper.

"Because I do, every time I look at you." He reaches forward to kiss her forehead. "You're not a nobody; you're my whole world, Shirin."

"Mikael?"

He's pulled into the present and in front of two deceivingly warm looking orbs staring back at him.

"Just Mikael?" Banafsha refers to his lack of mentioning his surname.

"Just Mikael," he answers smoothly.

She clicks her tongue but doesn't bother asking for more despite the rigidity of her features, clearing showing off her concern over something. Something is on her mind, he gathers. "Okay, nice to meet you, Mikael."

He smiles innocently, recalling his first encounter with her which was anything but nice, though manages to keep his demeanor collected. "Nice to meet you too, doctor," he replies calmly.