Red Loving The Alpha

Chapter 44

My screams and cries were filled with terror. It took me a second to take in everything but no time in this world was going to allow me to accept Nana's death. She wasn't supposed to die, not like this, not by Gretel, not because of me.

I fell on my knees, misery and tears storming down my eyes as I tried to touch her, hoping for something but she was cold and dead. I was lost until Luciano came beside me, wrapping an around my shoulder, and pulling me to his embrace.

"She's dead," I choked out.

"I know and I'm sorry." He rubbed my back and held me tight.

I could already taste the blood in my mouth as I had bitten the insides of my cheeks too hard while crying. The pain was endless and I knew it was going to last for a very long time. I swallowed hard, my throat dry with my cries.

There was guilt building up inside of me along with the grief. I was the dumb one here to believe that Gretel wouldn't harm Nana. That thought never even crossed my mind. I never believed she'd go on these lengths to take revenge for something that had happened years ago.

There was utter silence after all the mourning. Luciano carried me back inside the house and then left to handle my grandmother's body. I wanted to see her again, cry to her again but I knew that would only lead to guilt and more tears.

So, I stopped and just prayed with my Nana's rosary and begged that she would be at rest now.

The sour feeling in my chest grew as I laid on her bed, smelling her things and reminding my self of the great times I had with her. She was the greatest woman in my life, and there was no one that could handle me better than her.

Nana raised me as her own child since the day was I born. She kept me protected, taught me everything and got me everything I wanted. Regardless of everything I did, she never stopped loving me, she never hated me.

Even at her last days, she missed me and it was my mistake that I couldn't see her. If I hadn't gone to Luciano, I would have met her, said my goodbyes and it wouldn't have hurt that much.

I could've saved her from Gretel.

I didn't feel any anger towards Gretel, I just couldn't. I was filled with grief and nothing else could weight that out.

Hours had passed by, the sun disappeared and I was still in the same position. My head was against my Nana's favorite coat, she wore it everywhere and her scent was the strongest in there. The sudden incident was haunting me like a nightmare, snatching my breath away.

"She's been like that since hours." I heard Luciano whisper to someone.

"It's okay. I'll talk to her." Lisa replied, coming inside the room.

I looked away for a second, gathering my thoughts before wiping my tears away and sitting up straight. "I'm fine." I said, my voice hoarse as I clutched tight on Nana's coat.

"You're not and it's okay, you don't have to be." She came down and sat right beside me. "I'm so sorry. She was a wonderful woman. She's at rest now and that is all that matters."

"She wanted to see me, Lisa." I started crying again. "And, I couldn't. I did this to her. She would've been alive if I hadn't left Gretel." I slapped my hand over my mouth to contain my sobs.

"Oh, Red, this isn't your fault." She grabbed me tight. "Death is written for everyone. You stayed with Gretel for months, getting tormented just so you protect all of us from her wrath. Don't blame yourself."

My mind was cold and numb. "It's my fault."

"It isn't."

"It is. She wouldn't have died, Lisa. She would have been alive if I didn't leave Lunaris or Gretel." My head dropped down and my fingers twisted around my hair with the pain growing in my chest.

Shallow, and steadying gasps fled from my mouth. All I felt was this excruciatingly sharp pain stabbing me at my miserable heart. Grim clouded my thoughts and I felt weak, so weak that I couldn't even raise my head to look at anything inside this room. The pain felt so heavy that I wondered whether I'd be able to bear it.

"Red," Luciano's voice called me. I raised my head a little, looking at him. His arms extended out and he pulled me to his lap. "It's not your fault and I'm saying that."

Pressing my head against his chest, I heard his heartbeat that bought me a slight comfort but it wasn't enough.

"You're just saying that because you love me." I whispered the truth to him.

"No, I am saying that because it isn't truly your fault. If there is someone you want to blame, you have to blame Gretel, not yourself. All right?" He spoke to me gently.

I shook my head. It was my mistake that led to Nana's death. She was perfectly alive and healthy before I left Gretel, disobeying her.

When I didn't reply, I felt a sharp pinch at my neck. My mouth hung open as a cold liquid went through my veins. When the syringe left my neck, I moved back, looking at Luciano.

My heart skipped a beat. "What did you do?"

"Nothing."

I touched my neck where he injected me. "Did you just take my magic away?"

"It's not important right now. All that guilt inside you will force you do something you don't want to do. So, it's better if you stay without your magic for a few days. I'm not going to loose you." He cupped my face and explained to me.

I released a sigh and looked at the other side. Luciano pulled me back over his lap and wrapped his arms around my body.

I stayed in his embrace for the rest of the day.

Read the full book on patreon, www.patreon.com/miakerr