Bring Me The Night

27

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Invitation

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For the first time in my life I never regret my decision.
Ever since I arrived here in Canada, I never tried to get you out of my mind, it seems like everywhere I go, our memories keeps on haunting me, and it fuckin' hurts.

I go back to my senses when my phone rang, It was Hadey, I immediately pick up the call and turned my camera on.

"Hey Aeisa!" She started, She's still wearing a uniform.

"Hello Hadey! How are you?"

"I'm doing good, We miss you so much!" She shouted!

"Awe, I miss you too" I smiled.

"Anyways, did you check your email na?" She ask with concern in her eyes.

"Why? I didn't check it, did you email me something huh?"

"oh, hindi ako. Just check it if you're feeling it. but I advice you not to, anyways your choice, I'm just updating you, I'll get going na, bye!" I didn't have time to respond she already ended the call.

What's with her?

Now I'm curious, I didn't think twice, I ran to my study table and open my laptop.

Well, I wasn't expecting it,

"I-invitation for me?" I whispered, I slowly click it, with my hands shaking. Is it..?

Is it Arawn's wedding invitation or Azy's?

Jeez, Why am I sweating?

I fake a laugh while waiting for it to open.

I felt multiple stabs in my chest as I read the names written on the screen,

Its been a while since I felt this kind of pain and happiness,
Finally Arawn, Finally.

No words can explain what I feel right now, it's a mixture of relief and pain, Why?
Is it because I still have feelings for him?
Why the hell am I crying?

I heard a knock, it's probably my cousin, I tried to answer but I keep letting out a sob, that signals him to enter, he saw the invitation from my laptop, he smiled and pulled a chair, he sat in-front of me, he caress my hair while I was sobbing like a kid, hugging him.

He was.. He was always there to lend me a shoulder to cry on, for all the times I was suffering from anxiety and loneliness, he helped me a lot, he was there every time I found my self at the airport, thinking about coming home to Arawn.

"Glad to hear he's okay now" he whisper, while caressing my hair. "I know you're happy for them but who's gonna be there to walk with you through your darkest days?" I cried even more, he's so insensitive most of the time.

"It hurts Kuya!" I slightly hit him, he laugh

"Stop pretending that you're not used being in pain, you almost lived your life into it." he said, that made me realise everything.

"You're just making it worse!" I glared at him.

"You're a mess, god. I didn't know I have a cousin that's so iyakin." He pat my head and helped me stand up. "Prepare, let's go get some Ice cream" He said while heading outside.

I took the notebook Akia gave me, she said it was from Arawn, and he ask Akia to hand me this. I didn't open it yet, I know I'm not ready, but now I'm feeling it.

If I knew that what's written inside could hurt me more, I wish I didn't open it.
There was a bunch of messages for me, I couldn't read them all, I can't handle it, he suffered a lot because of me, he failed multiple exams, he spend the night on the street searching for me, I'm sorry love, I'm sorry.

I cried my eyes out until I was able to pick a pen and a paper to write for him too, I know this is too late but I just feel that I needed to respond to him.

My tears won't stop from falling while I'm writing this unbearable pain, simply converting it into words, I hope he appreciate.

Frex Arawn Fernandez,

Doc, I know you're mad, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything.
I left you without a word, without any single clues,
but I didn't regret anything,
I know that someday I'll be able to decide things on my own way,
and that's the decision I've made, which It caused you a lot of trouble,
Love, I couldn't care any less, I'm happy that you finally fell for her,
She's actually a nice woman, and you both deserve a peaceful life.
It may sound a little painful but I think I just built you for someone else,
and it's not something for me to be ashamed of,
I gathered all my strength to say this to you, Congratulations Arawn.
Promise me that you won't hide anything from her, just like you did to me,
I swear it hurts a lot. Love her, give her the care she deserve,
because every woman needs a man like you,
I don't wanna lose you love, but I guess this is where our love story ends.
There's nothing I can do anymore,
my heart screams for forgiveness but I know it's too late.
Hindi ko alam kung paano tayo nauwi sa ganito, paano nga ba?
Hindi ko alam kung may mga sagot pa ba sa mga tanong ko,
Gusto kong magalit at bawiin ka pero hindi ko magawa,
dahil sa una palang may nag hihintay na sayo.
I wish you all the best Arawn,
oh wait.. before you go, can you do me a favor?
Stop looking at the sky anymore, because I'm letting you go.
Stop asking the stars to bring you the night, because I'm not coming.

Goodbye, love;
A star looking from a far.

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