Love me, Love me

•~07~•

A/N: This chapter is from the POV of Arthur/Orange. Also, a disclaimer: I have no idea how a guy thinks (let alone a gay guy) so if this is way off, tell me 😂. Anyway, enjoy :)

•>•>•<•<•

My life felt like it was going in slow motion. Everything here felt so slow paced and I wanted it to move faster. I felt like I was stuck on some roller coaster but it was just the climb. Scratch that, it was just the flat track at the beginning. I was so bored out of my mind and I needed something to do. Then I found just that, a thing to do.

I walked out of the bathroom with a towel around my waist, seeing the room was empty except for Gregory sitting on his bed reading. I silently grinned to myself, walking to my bed where my bag of clothes was. As I was walking back into the bathroom, I saw him staring at me. I changed more quickly than I think I'd ever changed in my life. And when I returned, he was still sitting on his bed and pretending to read.

I smiled, sitting on the end of the bed across from his. "What are you reading?"

He looked up in shock, glancing down at his book then back up at me. "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time."

I nodded. "What's it about?"

"It's a bit depressing," he admitted, tossing the book onto the floor and looking back up at me. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure," I said, laughing. "What about... that accent."

His eyebrows raised in shock. "What about it?"

"Well," I said, letting out a breath through the words and resting my elbows on my knees, "I find it... incredibly attractive and I'm not sure what to do about that."

He swallowed hard, eyes widening significantly. "You... like my accent?"

"A lot more than I should," I admitted, smiling softly at him. "In fact, I like you a lot more than I should. Sometimes I doubt you know but I thought I'd clear the air."

He nodded, keeping those wide eyes glued to mine. "Right. Clear the air. Wonderful."

I felt my face contort in confusion. "You alright?"

"I'll be fine," he said quickly, standing and looking down at me. "I think I just need to... go for a walk. I'll be back soon."

With that, he rushed out the door and shut it loudly behind him. He's not going to be back, I thought while I leaned back in the bed and rested my hands behind my head. The laugh that escaped me was half bitter and half nerves. 

•>•>•<•<•

There wasn't much going through my mind but I definitely wasn't focussed on the current moment. I felt as though I was in a moment but I wasn't really there. I had nothing in my brain but I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything.

I was eating dinner with my mother, keeping silent as I sat across from her. She was eating at my same slow pace, glancing up at me every once in a while. We were very similar in appearance. We had the same red hair, blue eyes, freckles, and pale skin. We were practically identical. I was grateful for that since I'm sure a man who left my beautiful mother was ugly as fuck and I didn't want to retain any of his traits. I was also glad I didn't look like him because I think if I did, I would just remind her of him. I was sure that if she saw any of him in me, she'd treat me differently. I didn't blame her for that by the way. It was just a normal human reaction to seeing the person who broke your heart.

"What are you thinking about?" my mother asked suddenly, thin eyebrows raising at me with a small smile.

"I probably shouldn't say," I said, grabbing my cup and taking a few sips of water.

"Come on. End the torture," she said, laughing a bit through the words as she leaned forward. "I don't want to sit in silence with you-"

"Trust me, you'd prefer silence to the topic of my thoughts," I said, shaking my head quickly and stabbing through my food.

She frowned. "Please fulfill an old woman's wishes."

I scoffed. "You're thirty two!"

"Bringing up my age in this instance will not help your case," she said, pointing her fork at me with narrowed eyes.

I sighed, dropping my fork on my plate and clasping my hands together on the table. "I was thinking about my father."

She went silent after that, clearing her throat quietly as she too stopped eating. "Oh."

That was all she said on the matter, standing and walking down the hallway to her room. I knew she wouldn't have answered any questions I could've asked so I don't know why I was disappointed. I shouldn't have been, she was a private person and especially about him. I didn't know anything about him which was probably a good thing but I was still curious. I was hoping for answers and one day, I would get them. At least, I hoped. 

•>•>•<•<•

I was standing in a smaller room than most of the others. My back was against a bunch of mechanical bullshit that I was supposed to fix. Wires were snaking along the floor in large groups while singular wires hung from the ceiling. I was staring at my nails, running my fingertips gently over them. As long as I've been alive, I've picked at my nails. I guess it had been a way to relieve anxiety but now my nail beds were bloody with scabs. I'd tried so many times to stop but it was no use.

"You're in here."

I looked up to find wide eyed Gregory in the entrance. He was staring at me while his chest heaved as if he'd been running from someone. I grinned, pushing myself off the technology and taking a step toward him. "So I am."

He glanced at the wall then back at me. "You know, you hit the nail on the head when I met you. I'm not... used to this."

I could feel my smile getting wider and wider. "I couldn't tell."

He laughed a bit, looking down at the floor as I saw dimples on his cheeks. When he looked back up at me, he smiled. "You're not... I don't know, freaked out?"

I put aside the thought that I didn't know him very well and touched either side of his face, kissing him softly. He seemed shocked by the move, only gently touching the sides of my waist. I smiled at his reaction, moving closer and pressing him against the wall. My hands strayed from his face and to his chest as he pulled me into him. I pulled away, opening my eyes to see him smiling at me.

I smiled back, shaking my head slightly. "I'm not... freaked out."

He grinned. "Good."

"Well," I said, taking a few steps away from him, "I'm sure you have things to do-"

He laughed, cutting me off by grabbing my neck and kissing me again. I smiled wider than I thought possible for me, pulling him closer by the hips.

•>•>•<•<•

My mother had left for the weekend to go to Oregon for some reason. She wouldn't tell me why but she left that morning with full bags. I stayed at home, sitting on the couch when I realized I wanted to do something. I definitely didn't want company. I had practically no friends since my mother homeschooled me. There's not many other places where I'd be able to meet people. Well, there is online places to meet people.

My gut started twisting at the thought. A thought that I'd had multiple times. I'd always wanted to download a dating app and have someone over. I had no idea how it'd work since I'd never done it before but I was tired of feeling out of the loop. I was tired of feeling like I hadn't done anything in my short life. It felt like it was time to... branch out. So, I grabbed my phone and downloaded the first one the app store suggested.

I'm not gonna lie, this entire thing made me so much more nervous than I should've been. My heart was pounding while I made a profile. I set my phone down for five seconds before it buzzed. When I checked again, I felt relief and anxiety. I had a match. His name was Simon. After pushing that uncomfortable feeling away, I messaged him to come over. Then I set my phone down and worried for an hour.

WORD COUNT: 1428

.