(Fem.) Percy meets Spidey

27

My finger tapped against the screen of my phone, as I poked sullenly at the unresponsive app. Why does it take so long? It's not like I'm trying to run a multi-billion dollar corporation from it.

"Can- Why are you on the ceiling?"

"Can't I just hang out on the ceiling, Mr Stark?" I said. I made no move to, well, move. The ceiling was comfortable in the way the floor wasn't, and I wasn't in the mood to sit on one of the stools that no doubt had a thumbtack rigged to stab me. 

"Not when Momma Spider's going to come over. I don't need her getting any ideas for gear." He walked to the corner and grabbed a broom. My eyes widened.

I dropped from the ceiling, landing in a crouch. "Momma Spider?"

"Nat."

"Wh- Ooooooh."

"Yeah, oh." Mr Stark grinned and flicked my head. He tossed the broom back where it came from, thankfully unused. "Did you want to explain why there's a bunch of missing footage from your suit?" 

I blanked. "Huh?"

"Don't huh me. I pulled that trick plenty of times, oh god is this how she felt? Friday put an apology on my schedule." Mr Stark sighed and shook his head. He closed his eye. "Pretty sure she's gonna pull some yeah, this is your payback for all the years you made other people worry and cleanup after you." The moment ended and his eyes were back on me. "Anyway, footage?"

"What are you talking about?" 

"There's a few hours of footage missing from your suit."

"What?" Did he think I deleted footage? Could I delete footage from my suit? I mean, I know it's technically possible, but it would be way more trouble than it's worth, and Karen would probably give him the backup copy of whatever I tried to delete in case there were any drug deals or kidnappings I missed. Or did he mean that someone hacked the suit and deleted it from there?

"Underoos, if you were using it to get into some girl's pants then-"

"No!" Heat rushed to my face. I waved my hands. "No. Nope. Nuh uh. Even if that was, you're not my dad. Nope you don't get to try to give me the talk or whatever you're about to do."

"So you'd rather have Aunt Hottie-"

"PLEASE for the love of God, stop."

Mr Stark laughed and ruffled my hair. My face was hot, burning with fire under my hands. The same heat scorched my ears. Hiding my embarrassment was impossible, short of becoming a turtle. "I'm just teasing, Pete." He sighed. "But you really didn't delete anything?"

"I didn't even know I could. I thought Karen automatically uploaded it to your servers." 

"Exactly. And if you didn't delete it, and I didn't delete, then that means someone else deleted it and I'll bet my ice cream  that it wasn't Fri. Did you know I actually have an ice cream flavor? Stark Raving Hazelnuts. Actually was going to give up dairy, and then Ben and Jerry's made that and now I have three tubs of it in the freezer."

"I know." It's the only flavor he'd give me.

"Did you though?"

"Mr Stark."

"Uh uh, Underoos. I don't believe a word you say without a three page essay on the topic. That's what they have you do in seventh grade, right?" He waved his hand and a few screens popped up. "Fri, can you get the moment that we lost the camera footage?"

"Of course."

The video footage from my suit popped up and it ran through all the things I could remember from that night and then it- it just stopped. No signal popped up, and Mr Stark grimaced. 

"See this- this doesn't make sense. I put my best effort into that suit, it shouldn't lose all communication like that. I can't even figure out where you went. You could've gotten hurt, could've gotten killed-"

"I would've been fine."

"Fine like the time you nearly drowned? Fine like the time that I found you bleeding out in the elevator?" he said. I looked down and hunched in on myself. Mr Stark breathed out and placed his hands on my shoulders. "No offense, Pete, but you are shit at taking care of yourself. You're lucky Pepper and I decided to buy back the building after that fiasco. Though it probably helped that the lawyers decided that we legally had to mention we had the leader of an alien invasion break in here. Not that there's really a precedent, but you know, worked out for us in the end."

"I'll try to be more careful."

"Oh you better, or I'm putting ultra-baby-monitor on. Maybe make myself a stealth suit and I'll go on patrol with you."

"Please don't."

"I won't, too much work. And Pep said she'd kill me if I made another suit."

I grinned and opened my mouth, only for a muffin to be shoved in it. Blueberry based on the taste. And the blue stained fingers that Mr Stark smeared across my forehead. "Hey-" I fumbled for the muffin. "That's rude, Mr Stark." I grabbed a towel, clean I had learned my lesson from last time, and scrubbed at my forehead. There wasn't anything to look at my reflection in and- "Eugh!" I tried to pull away as he rubbed at my forehead with a napkin. One that was very much had saliva on it.

"Don't be a baby. You have a super immune system."

"It's still gross."

"Bet you one hundred dollars Aunt Hottie version two has done it to you."

"Please tell me you're not talking about Percy's mom."

"You're not denying it. Here you go."

"Wha- This isn't how bets work."

"I made the bet, I determine the conditions. Take the money or I'm making your suit neon pink."

And for once I also have a decent amount for the next chapter written

Also i probably freaked some people in the hallway out when I opened my door and said do you want some ramen cups?

They said no but I sat them outside anyway and I think they took them

Top Ramen is better than Maruchan ramen and i will take no criticism 

Also if you were wanting some Percy Peter time, you're out of luck because more Parental characters are coming your way sometime in the future

See yah