I'm Better Off. You're Better Off.

[[ 33 ]]

Rewritten: 1/23/2021

[Baie]

"Did you though?" smiled Haven, leaning away from a giggling Pansy.

"Haven," barked Star, shoving her away from me. "back off."

"I'm just curious, we're all wondering it." shrugged Haven, leaning back into her seat.

"Malfoy made it a point," I snarled, looking up through my tears as Star leaned over to me, comforting. "why do you still exist?"

Haven's face dropped to a frown as she crossed her legs and arms and fell silent.

"Bitch," smirked Star, grinning over at me. "how are you holding up?"

"I'm holding something." I whimpered, whipping away a tear. "I guess it's for the best then, right?"

"How do yo figure?" Pansy inquired, over her water bottle.

"We did what we set out to do," I counted on my feet, crossing my legs to mirror Haven. "we made Malfoy fall and then I broke his heart." I choked up a little and dropped my gaze to find Star's hand on my knee. 

"Yeah, but we didn't expect all this either..." Pansy motioned to me. 

"No, but we did succeed," I sighed, leaning into the cushion of my seat. "if you want to call it that and with me being engaged to Blaise, that'll go down a little smoother..." I caught Haven and Pansy's eyes as Star's gaze dropped. "...oh yeah, you guys didn't know about that."

"When did this happen?" asked Pansy, jaw hung.

"You are a whore." squealed Haven, clapping excitedly as the entire compartment glared over at her. 

"Still here uh?" I rose an eyebrow as I presented the letter to them out of my bag. 

"What about Potter?" Star asked, turning from Pansy and Haven looking over the letter together. 

I rolled my eyes.

"- You know, I took you for a lot of things Maire," Draco grinned, advancing back up to me only for his gaze to drop  down to mine. "but I never...never...took you as a whore!"

SLAP!

I flinched at the memory and crossed my arms tightly.

"He...uh..." I sniffed through my tears as my chest began to physically throb. "...he and I are over." I nodded slowly, looking up at Star's expression.

"Wh-what?" she gasped, leaning back away from me. 

"Did you two break up after -?" Inquired Haven, as Pansy shoved her head into the door that stood to her left before she passed my letter back to me.

"- she doesn't want to fucking talk about!" Pansy shouted, and turned to face Haven completely. "Why are you so fucking evil?"

"One," She smirked, pointing at her right arm dark mark. "Two," she smiled pointing at her Slytherin robes. "speak of which, I'm going to change - Pansy, you're coming right?"

"In a second." Pansy eyed Haven with disgust as we watched her grab her bag and disappear out of our compartment.

"What happened, Baie?" Star asked, turning to face me completely in her seat. 

"It just didn't feel right." was I could manage to say. 

I felt disgusting.

I felt used.

I felt so fucking hurt.

I felt so stupid.

I fell so hard for Draco, only for him to react the way he did.

"Is that all you're giving us?" asked Pansy, leaning forward.

"That's all I'm comfortable giving you." I retorted as she rolled her eyes, grabbed her bag and followed Haven out.

***

"Welcome back, baby!" smiled Father, running up to me as I entered through the front door and twirling me around in a circle. "How was your term?"

"Could've been better." I shrugged, plastering a fake smile that I had been practicing on the way home. "Where's Mum?"

"She's out at the gym." He grinned, leading me through the house as our house elves began to take my things upstairs to my room. "Tell me, how was the mission?"

"You know about that?" I rose an eyebrow as he tossed me a water bottle from the fridge. 

"Of course, I'm so proud you got to work neck and neck with the Draco Malfoy...although, he didn't seem to do as good you..." Father smiled, pointing at me. I had never seen him so proud. "...anyway, I know you're probably wanting to wine down from her term, by all means I'll get out of her hair."

"Where are you going?" I grinned, watching him snatch his jacket off the hanger. 

"Just out with the boys, Mr. Malfoy and, getting to know our new family, Mr. Zambini." He grinned and winked at me as I shot back a fake smile and watched the door shut.

I growled around the my Manor. 

I slowly walked towards our ballroom to find more house elves hard at work, decorating the place for the dinner.

It was tomorrow, if you didn't know.

I frowned at the decorations, only to be caught.

"Miss, are they not pretty enough?" asked Rosie, one of the sweetest and my personal favorite elf, as she slide up to entry way to me. 

"Oh," I gasped, noticing her at first. "no, its beautiful." 

"Not what the Miss wants?" She inquired as I just grinned over at her. There were no lines to cross between her and I, we had been so tight since I was born. "I'll free you after this, Rosie, along with the rest..."

"...if you're not moved in with Zambini, sure Miss." she grinned and moved back to her group to get back to work.

I just frowned after her.

I made my way back up to my room and felt my throat shut at the sight of a gorgeous dark green dress hanging off my closet hook. It had black sparkles on it and had a high hip cut on it's right side.

This was really happening.

I sighed, glaring over at my Hogwarts trunk.

I wished it was Draco I was marrying.

I felt my frown deepen.

 He didn't choose me anyway.

I dropped down on my bed only to feel my heart finally break.

I felt tears stream down my cheeks and flinched at them dropping to my lap.

I closed my eyes at the memory:

"He's looking for you." Star came barreling into our dorm. "He doesn't look happy either..."

"Well he did ask me to go back to his dorm last night after the party," I frowned, pulling my shirt over my head. "I didn't feel like facing him after Potter..." I shifted uncomfortably.

"Are you alright?" Star inquired. "You came in late, and you seem uncomfortable in your own skin."

"Let's just say..." I sighed, as flashes shot through my head. "...I took one for the team."

"I took one for the team." I repeated, finding my body give up and I fell onto the mountain of pillows to my right and cuddled a single pillow. I hugged it so tightly I thought it was going to morph into an appendage of my own.

My chest throbbed.

My face throbbed at the muscles tightening.

My pillow was soaked.

My muscles ached at how hard I was holding into the pillow.

My nose ran as the tears just kept coming. 

"It wasn't my fault..." I kept repeating, and felt myself lean up to lean against my head board. I found myself beginning to rock back and forth slowly. "...I didn't ask for it."