It was like a ticking time bomb went off when I opened the front door, mom was pacing the kitchen in her dressing gown while holding a bottle of my medication. I sighed quietly to myself as I already knew what was coming next, I placed my bag down and shut the front door, her head shooting up and storming over in my direction.
"Where have you been? And you skipped your medication last night kuroo, do you now how dangerous that is??"
"It was one night mom, and I was round Kenmas stop worrying." Going to my room wasn't an option right now, but I really didn't want to have this conversation with her.
"Daily medication is daily for a reason, you should of taken it with you"
"Kenma would of seen it in my bag"
"You still haven't told him? Just tell him the truth"
"Why should I, so I can have another persons pity? He doesn't need to know about this"
"Your health is more important than that boy Kuroo"
"Don't say that, Kenma is just as important to me."
"If he was so important then you would of told him by now" I could feel myself getting worked up with each sentence she said, how could she be saying this in the first place. Kenma meant a lot to me, the last thing I need to do is bombard him with the cancer card, who knows how he'd take it, he might not even want anything to do with me. The sick person. The boy who was going to die.
"Whats the point in taking socmuch damn medicine, its not like I've got long lef-"
"KUROO TETSURO. Don't you dare finish that sentence."
The tears brimming in her eyes brought me back down from my frustrated state and I soon took her in my arms. She cried for a while after that, constantly telling me I shouldn't ever say that again, and I need to take my medicine every day. I let her get it all out before letting go again, she dried her eyes and told me we had to leave for the hospital soon so get ready. I complied without speaking and went up to my room, collapsing on my bed and staring up at my ceiling for a little while, wondering how I could go from a happy mood to a crappy one in such short notice.
The car ride was silent and only the hum of the road was heard, we didn't have much to say after our argument, and neither of us wanted to.
Chemotherapy sucked. And I mean it really sucked. It drained all of the energy out of your body and it hurt like hell, if being attached to a bag of fluid for hours wasn't already enough, who knew you could feel like you were dying after it was finished. I thought it was supposed to prevent that. It had been about 2 weeks since i'd started it, they gave me a cap to where to prevent my hair from falling off, but I underestimated how difficult it would be to endure both Chemo and a cooling cap. The way it prevented hair loss was by slowing down the blood flow in your head and reducing the temperature, it almost made sitting still unbearable and often brought tears to my eyes. I never let mom come in with me while I had it done, I don't know if she'd be able to cope with seeing me like that.
An hour past and the nurse finally took off the cooling cap, I felt numb and nauseous, the constant feeling of being sick lingered over me even when she gave me some medicine for it. We sat on an outside bench for a bit, fresh air was supposed to help but all I could do was shiver and groan in pain, my head was throbbing and my eyes remained cloudy, this was the worse I had felt since being diagnosed.
I had chemotherapy 4 days a week and because I refused to drop out of school, my treatment would normally be around 8 at night, then on weekends it was a little earlier. It was hard to wake up the day after Chemo, and it normally happened by rushing to the toilet to throw up, or cleaning the blood splotches from my pillow. Kenma was definitely right when he said it looked like i'd lost weight, it didn't just look like it, I've lost around 30 pounds since we moved here, I just couldn't stomach anything, even at kenmas i ended up being secretly sick while he was asleep.
I watched mom get out the car and open the front door, coming back round to help me out and guide me inside the house. I felt sluggish and cold, I wish I could just fall asleep but the doctors told me I had to try and stay awake for at least two hours after my session. She draped a blanket over me and put on a movie for us to watch, gently shaking me now and then so I wouldn't drift off to sleep.
Sometimes I wondered if this is what I really wanted, sure it would give me a little more time, but how much more? Was going through this pain worth a few extra months, I couldn't decide anymore, everything was to sore to think. Iv'e never been happier that tomorrow was Sunday.
YOU ARE READING
Life Goes On
Fanfiction"It may not have been said by someone famous, and maybe no one will feel comforted by it. But the only person I need it to comfort is standing right next to me"
