I couldn't sleep that night. The thought of Kenma coming back in the morning haunted me, I knew I had to tell him at some point, I just didn't expect I to be this soon. I couldn't tell if the sickness I felt was from the cancer or from being so nervous, I still had six hours to come up with some kind of excuse but what was the point, I'd lost more weight since he pointed it out, not to mention my memory was getting worse. What would happen if one day they just- disappeared. No, that wouldn't happen, the doctor said the most important people wouldn't be forgotten, that meant Kenma too right?
I asked if I could do my chemo after Kenma had left today, telling him I was sick was one thing, I didn't want him to actually witness it. Chemo had been more painful recently, something about my body not responding well to the scalp cap and therefore effecting how well the chemo worked. I knew this meant he was recommending I stop wearing the cap, besides it wasn't a hundred percent guaranteed it would stop my hair falling out anyway, it was coping with it that was the hardest part.
The day passed slowly and I could safely say that I was bored out my brains. I wasn't allowed to leave my bed until I'd finished the IV drip in case I fainted again, but that just made me want to go out even more. Well, minus the fainting part.
Kenma wasn't a second late when he came in, he actually looked quiet tired as if he had ran here, but I'd never seen kenma run for anything other than a set. He peeked around the door and wandered over to me once he saw I was alone, mom had to go back to work anyway,.
He came and sat down by the side of my bed but said nothing, I presumed he wanted to get straight into it and wanted me to do the talking, but my mouth was dry and no words were coming out. I pulled at the front of my hospital gown and cleared my throat, fiddling with my hands nervously before starting up a conversation.
"so uh, how was school"
"Are you sick?" wow straight to it huh
"Ah well about that, I'm not REALLY sick, its been kinda cold and my immune system isn't the best so" It was like the lies were rolling off my tongue, I couldn't stop them either.
"Kuroo I'm not playing"
"but-"
"No buts. You've lost weight, you keep passing out and I saw your hand covered in blood that practice session. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to pressure you into telling me, but were you planning on telling me at all? Friends tell each other stuff, am I not your friend anymore?"
For the second time today I was at a lot for words. Kenmas eyes had filled with un-spilled tears and he turned to wipe them, I'd never heard him this mad before, let alone say as much as he just did. This was it, time to come clean Kuroo, no more secrets.
"I have cancer."
"... what?" His attention was now completely on me.
"Brain cancer, to be precise. I was diagnosed a year ago but we moved here so I could get better treatment. Its fatal so... they think I have another year left with treatment."
I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes which I uneasily laughed of. A variety of emotions were welling up inside me right now, embarrassment, frustration, this was the first time I said out-loud how long I had left, It was like a door just got slammed in my face.
Kenma still hadn't said anything, I think he was trying to process it, he had his hands clasped together and his chin resting on them, staring into one space.
He stayed like that for a little while longer before pulling out his ipod and headphones, plugging on in my ear and the other in his, playing our favorite playlist that we listened to when walking to school. I was thankful for this, thankful that Kenma knew I didn't want his sympathy, that he was able to comfort me in a way no one else could.
I wanted to thank him but the opening of the door interrupted us, the doctor came in and gave me that look again. It was time for my chemo. I took a small breath in and smiled at Kenma, he caught on and nodded but only removed the earphone from his ear.
"Don't get too bored, I'll come see you again tomorrow"
He waved goodbye before politely nodding to the doctor as making his leave, I could of sworn he looked back for a second, but that wasn't like Kenma.
YOU ARE READING
Life Goes On
Fanfiction"It may not have been said by someone famous, and maybe no one will feel comforted by it. But the only person I need it to comfort is standing right next to me"
