Crimson Blue Snow

Part II- "Caged"

Part II- "Caged"

 Night, two o'clock; Amadea wakes up after a nightmare and decides not to go back to sleep, so just start thinking about different things. At the time Beata was also thinking, but about the girl she heard yesterday; She imagined how a girl with that voice might look like, is she like some gentle fairy or a dangerous strong woman that no one can mess up with? She was regarded as the second one - with her piercings, tattoos and hair that stood out with her bright royal-blue coloured hair she seemed like a tomboy to most of people, although she herself didn't think she was much of a feminine person. She had this gentle side, she just rarely showed it, she didn't feel the need to do it when this suited her better. And that girl from yesterday... Um... How tall is she? Does she have long hair or short hair, what color is her hair? How about her eyes? A hundred ideas went through her head, keeping her awake at a time when she should have been asleep a long time ago.

 Morning, eight o'clock. Beata and Michelle have breakfast. Michelle: "Did you manage on those streets?" Beata: "Barely, but lucky there's navigation. (imagine)" Michelle: "What are you so quiet about, don't think too much- you might get some weird idea! (laugh)" Beata: "I heard a girl singing so I thought of something... It doesn't matter." Michelle: "What girl?" Beata: "I stopped on my bike to see where to go, so I heard her singing a metal song. I don't know which band it is, some with female vocals." Michelle: "Wait, wait... It may be a stupid idea, but maybe she can replace Carlo, if you say it sounds good, then I believe you. What do you say we try it?" Beata: "Yes, I go to her home and say, " Hey, like, come on to my brother's band, no big deal that I see you for the first time in my life and I don't know anything about you, but it doesn't matter at all!" " Michelle: "There you go, you can do it!" Beata: "No, I can't! Dude, you're such a fool. You want me to go over there and say that? I may be a fool, but you're even bigger." Michelle: "Give the address, I'll go." Beata: "Sit there and don't fool around. I'm going to go over there, check it out and tell you how things are, okay? In return, you'll be cleaning the house for a month." Michelle: "Whoa, it's a lot!" Beata: "If I can embarrass myself way too much, you can clean up too. (brings him a broom and hands it to him) You can start slowly. (heading to door) And don't let the crumbs on the floor, I'll check!" Michelle: "Yes, yes... (continues complaining as Beata closes the door and heads for the bike)"

 She arrived around noon, nervously getting off her bike and heading for the gate. How to start a conversation? What if that person doesn't live there? What if it wasn't a person singing at all, but there was some internet video or something? She realized how bad idea this was, but it was too late. A person dressed in unsightly clothes and with an old hat on her head approached, even more nervous than Beata. She was shaking with fear, but she still came up and greeted her politely. Beata greeted back, a little surprisingly looking at her. At first she thought it was an older person, but then she notices that behind that hat is a person who's her age, so she wouldn't understand anything anymore. Is it possible it's the girl from yesterday? Sure it's not her...

 Beata (starts a conversation): "I am... Okay, this is going to be stupid, I know... I heard a person singing yesterday and it was so awesome to me. (girl turns pale) I know it sounds stupid, please don't think I'm some crazy woman. I mean, I'm crazy, but... uh... Yeah. I'll get to the point. Who was that person? I want to talk to her." Amadea: "I've been practicing singing. (looks away) I didn't know it was so loud, I usually make sure no one hears me. (quietly) And there's a new dose of paranoia." Beata (surprised): "Wait, it's impossible for me to match your voice and what I've heard... You're so quiet! Was there anyone else with you or..." Amadea (scared, close to crying): "No, just me. (dog doesn't stop barking, she turns to him) Enough, Rex, you smashed my head with your barking!!!. Beata (surprised): "That is you! Why the hell would you be afraid someone wouldn't hear you? You're great, man! Were you in a band or something?" Amadea (still scared): "Never. I'm just practicing like this. I'm not one for bands, at least not anymore. It's for some other people, it's not for the ones like me. Thanks for the praise anyway, it means  to me." Beata (sigh): "Wait, you're going to let that voice go to waste? Listen, I came to ask you if you're free and if you want to be in my brother's metal band, he searches for a vocal and he doesn't feel like getting some vocal from other parts of the country, they had this singer who lived far away and it didn't work out, he didn't come to rehearsals so nothing could be done... (imagines) Look what a fool I am, I didn't even introduce myself. I'm Beata, and you?" Amadea: "Amadea. I wish I could, but I don't know how feasible that would be right now... It was the greatest wish of my life but now that so much time has passed, I know I'm no longer capable of such a thing. You'd just lose your nerves on me, and I don't have what it takes to attract an audience. Besides, you see what I look like, I'm ashamed to exist. (refrains from crying) Thank you for the offer, but I have to look at the situation objectively and not waste your time." Beata: "If he wanted a beauty where most of the front rows would stare at their chest and completely ignore the music he'd find one right away, it's a serious band that wants to make authorial things. (writes down phone number) If you change your mind, I'm here, call me or write, whatever's easier for you. (heading to the bike, but stops for a moment) Do you go out anywhere, you know- clubs, cafes, parks and stuff?" Amadea: "I'm not going anywhere. I rarely leave the house and rarely talk to people. It's better for everyone." Beata (gulped): "Just... sitting there and having no contact with people at all? Is it possible to live like that?" Amadea: "To live no, to survive yes." Beata (nods): ,,That's a pitty. All kinds of fools walk freely, full of  themselves, and your life passes in the house, away from everyone. (sits on the bike) I doubt you'll want to be in a band, but the number's there if you want to. The decision is up to you."

 The motorbike slowly drifted away and Amadea with her head down went back to the house.

 In the evening, the café; Michelle sits next to Beata and starts questioning: "Did you find her? What's she like, is she a hot chick?" Beata (eye-rolled): "Idiot, that's the only thing you think about. I found her, talked to her, gave her my contact phone number, just... (sighs) the situation is a little specific." Michelle: "What, is she  married and with children, or that she's a child herself so mom and dad wouldn't let her?" Beata: "No, she's my age, from what I've noticed she's not married and has no children." Michelle: "If it wasn't some disease, or..." Beata: "Uh... Luckily, it's not something that would physically limit her, but something's definitely wrong. She's literally in isolation, she's not going anywhere... She says she's not for the band, that she's not attractive enough." Michelle: "Well, is she?" Beata: "Does it matter?" Michelle: "Well, it matters. The audience also likes the visual part, you know?" Beata (looking at him angrily): "Go to clubs and ask for one of those then! That girl obviously has severe self-esteem issues, she's literally hiding from people for things like that!" Michelle: "I'm not going to argue with you, obviously it's not going to happen so we don't have to waste time on that..." Beata (stops him): "Wait, who said it wasn't going to happen? She hasn't said if she wants to..." Michelle: "What she has to say, here- I say it's not what we need. If she calls say we found someone real quick, though I doubt she'll call you. There's no need to waste time on some lunatic who, as I conclude in your words, has really lost her mind." Beata (furiously rising): If you weren't my brother, I'd beat the hell out of you right now, this way I'm just going to tell you to go to hell. (furiously leaving)"

 She sat on a bench outside the café and thought about Amadea. Something intrigued her so much, at the same time wanting to get to know her better and knowing it was probably an impossible mission. She always loved eccentric people, outcasts of society, even though she wasn't too social she enjoyed meeting the world of a person who had completely new views and thoughts. There was a lot to learn from them, a lot of issues to make you start thinking. Similar thoughts were in Amadea's head, only with more concern and remorse; She regrets that she had to say no to the only thing she wanted in life, and Beata still caught her attention at first sight. She didn't get a chance to meet metalheads like herself often, and Beata completely left her breathless with her appearance. She couldn't believe that such a person had even come to her gate, let alone invite her into a band; It seemed like a dream, but not one that leaves you at peace, but one after which you wake up upset and think all day about what it might mean. The weight on her lungs left her broken, ashamed of herself she was solving her long-standing dilemma in her head- how long should she keep doing this? Maybe it's right time to give up and let those who can give this world something to do great things, when she couldn't do any more than this. There was no way out of the impasse, and behind her was a maze from which she tried to get out a countless times, but she was just losing herself inside even more. As much as she hated giving up she had a feeling that this time she had to finally let the wind blow her spark into the void.