Crimson Blue Snow

Part X: "Somewhere I Belong"

Part X: "Somewhere I Belong".

 Morning. Amadea wakes up early, prepares her clothes and goes to take a shower and get ready. She sat by the window and looked imaginatively into the sky that slowly changed colour, suddenly feeling arms around her neck and a kiss on the cheek.

 Beata: "Good morning, you're up early today. Something bothering you?" Amadea (quiet): "I'm thinking about life. I'm confused by the concept of life - not the function of it, but the psychology behind it all. Don't pay attention to me, my soul is tired." Beata (embraces her harder): "I know. I'm not going to try to cheer you up because you'd be worse after, but I'm going to try to keep you balanced because we have a concert tonight. I'll get ready and pack after it, we've agreed with the others that we'll have breakfast and we'll go." Amadea (gets up): "I'll pack your things, just set aside what you need. I'll put myself together mentally during the day, now it's time to get ready to go. I'm sorry, I didn't even tell you last night was great, my current mood has nothing to do with it." Beata: "I had a great time, too, we have to do it again." Amadea (leans her head on her): "We will. (exhale) Something worries me, but I don't know what... It's like I have a negative feeling or it's like I'm afraid of something that might happen..." Beata: "Whatever happens together we'll work it out. Two heads are smarter than one, we'll solve problems more easily together. We're not almighty, it stands, but we can try."

 After breakfast, the journey continued to a town about 40 kilometers away. They arrived at the place where they performed at evening and prepared to give the audience the best experience, then after a successful concert they moved on. There were three concerts left and they were all slightly delighted to end the tour successfully. Beata and Amadea didn't reveal to anyone that they were in a relationship, they didn't feel the need to justify their personal life to anyone. They understood that a relationship between the two girls would certainly provoke too many comments, especially from people who have nothing to do with it, and were careful not to expose themselves and their relationship to other people's interference.

 The last concert they had was at a big festival; they performed on the third night as a opening act, which for such a young band was a huge success. The last day they had a break right in the city where the festival was held, so they had a chance to meet with people who listened to their band even though they were far from home.

 Amadea and Beata spend day listening to a few rock and metal bands that would be at the festival on the second day, sitting in a park or walking by the water. They had conversations on different topics, not even feeling the day was passing.

 Amadea: "Do you know when I first seriously wanted to find a girlfriend? When I watched "Sailor Moon" and saw the perfect harmony between Haruka and Michiru. I wanted to see if it could really be that beautiful. Every scene with them, even the simplest one, gave me a special emotion. Okay, fine, I love all the characters, and Hotaru is also very dear to me, but the two of them inspired romantic feelings in me." Beata: "I know about the two of them, I agree they're a wonderful couple. You know, if you and I were like the two of them, then I'd be Haruka and you'd be Michiru, what do you think?" Amadea (nods): "That's what I thought a few times. I hope we don't have to fight with anyone." Beata: "Yes. We don't need that, at least not now. (takes her hand) I want to enjoy with my Michiru and I don't want anyone bothering me. (looks at her) The past can't be erased, but I don't let even it to distract me, let alone anything else. (sighs) Next week will be five years since my father's death, just in time for the tour to end." Amadea: "Is your mother coming?" Beata: "Who knows if she'll even remember. Last year she didn't even come, she had responsibilities with two other kids. In the memorial were just Michelle, me, some of his friends and relatives. It's funny how quickly people forget someone - the first year a lot of people came together, there were barely a dozen of us last year. I'm sure it'll be even less now. Dude, what is life. You just don't know when it's time to go on that road of no return." Amadea: "That's why I started to get scared of planning too far ahead. These unforeseen circumstances, or even foreseen but unexpected at a given moment, can ruin any plan no matter how precise it may be."
Beata: "Yes, and it's hard to forbid the brain from planning because it's kind of calming down, giving yourself a guarantee that everything's going to be okay. The hell with planning the future when at least half of those plans fall into the water." Amadea: "It helps a little when you think about that next moment based on the current circumstances, instead of some moment there in a potential future that, as it usually does, probably won't happen. For example- my brain now has the idea that we'll go back to the hotel later, that we'll fall asleep next to each other like the other day, that tomorrow we'll have preparation for the show and, if all goes well, we'll end the tour with the last concert." Beata (gets close): "I hope you planned a little more before we went to bed." Amadea (laughs): "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't, I've thought about it, but it's a topic for two. I'll put it in my imaginary schedule." Beata: "I plan to sit in the park a little longer, and then what you've already planned. And then... Of these long-term plans, we have to go on that trip together which we said a few months ago. This is about to end and we'll rest our brains from everything." Amadea: "That plan certainly remains. (view to the promenade) The guys in the band have gone who knows where, they better be able to perform tomorrow." Beata: "I told them today when we went to the festival not to overdo the booze, they're good guys - they haven't caused any trouble before. That's why I called the three of them into the band; Leonel (drummer) is a family man, he has a family and he won't put himself in awkward situations; Tyrone (keyboardist) is already planning a marriage when we finish the tour so he doesn't deal with some parties either, and Brody (bassist) is a single, but he's not the type of guy who partyes. You know, I've never seen him with a girl. There were some around him, he didn't even notice them." Amadea: "There is a possibility that he was disappointed in someone, or looking for something specific. It's like he's trying to say something, and he'd like to share it with someone. Maybe he needs a woman's advice." Beata: "As soon as we get back we'll see what it's all about, so we don't bother him now. It would be a shame if we didn't help him if we could. Anyway, I'm worried about the guitar player in the band. She fell in love with the singer of the band!" Amadea (laughs): "It's no big problem, and the singer fell in love with a guitarist. What if other members revolt over it?" Beata: "I don't see how that would offend them on a personal level. (saw the clock) Are we going to a hotel?" Amadea (takes the bag): "I didn't even notice how long it had been. (get up) Let's go."

 During the walk to the hotel, as they thought there was no one nearby, they hugged and kissed, enjoying the reflection of the moonlight on the surface of the river.

 At the hotel they greeted the band members and went to their room. They fell asleep side by side again, resting before their last concert on tour. They didn't even know how much tomorrow's day is going to be harder than they thought.