Crimson Blue Snow

Part VI- "Missing"

Part VI- "Missing"

 While Amadea was in a motel far from the populated area, where she walked in the nature during the day more than she stayed in the room, Beata also spent time alone, but chose a combination of staying in her room with a computer and going to nature by bike. She'd see Michel sometimes, he'd spend less time in the house but they'd be able to exchange a few sentences.

 Michelle: "You've already done with your band? I'm telling you, that girl is not strong enough to handle so much pressure from all sides." Beata: "Nothing's over, where did you get that nonsense? She took a break, and so did I. It's not easy every day to deal with all kinds of fools, sometimes you have to rest your brain. I don't recommend it to you, you don't have a brain." Michelle: "Ha, ha... You're so funny... She ran away from you. You'll see." Beata (frowns): "You know everything. Don't be silly." Michelle: "Why else would she leave? She was scared and she didn't know how to tell you. That's what you get for taking amateurs." Beata (a little nervous): "You know I'm not really trustworthy when it comes to people, but I don't doubt Amadea. And even if she leaves... I can't stop her. I could never stop them from leaving. (with tears in her eyes, but no crying) It wouldn't be the first time, but I don't want that to happen this time. I want someone to stay. I mean, someone else besides you. (rubs her eyes) I've got too much of you anyway." Michelle (nods): "Okay, fine, I hope this friend stays longer... It's just, you know... Maybe she falls in love with someone like Fernanda did and then you're alone again, or you fall in love and then she feels neglected. That's why I'm telling you. You better have found a boyfriend too, so you wouldn't be bored." Beata (grumpy look): "Stop this nonsense, I don't want any boyfriend and I don't think Amadea's in a hurry to find someone either, so don't worry about it." Michelle (leaves): "Imagine if she found someone now while she's on that trip - she goes alone and comes back with someone else! That would be ironic, wouldn't it?" Beata (hits him with a pillow): "Go to hell." Michelle: "I wouldn't be surprised if that happened."

 As much as she wanted not to think about that scenario or what her brother said, Beata had no peace of mind since that conversation. Every day she got a message from Amadea and she knew she was fine, but the thought that maybe one day she would find a partner was upsetting her, she didn't know why. She had a feeling she'd lose her completely and it terrified her. She didn't understand her own brain no matter how hard she tried to figure out what it was, why she was so afraid of losing Amadea.

 After the feeling of remorse faded away, Amadea was finally able to relieve herself of the burden of all kinds of thoughts, at least for those few days. Every day she would text Beata so she wouldn't worry, although she was worried about everything she left at home, including Beata. She had some silly thoughts going through her head but she quickly silenced them, finding them completely unrealistic. No, a person like her barely manages friendships, let alone being in a relationship, specially that kind of relationship... She was grateful that no one could hear such insane thoughts that went through her head from time to time, she was ashamed of anything that came to mind, let alone to share it with someone.

 A week and a half later, there were preparations for Beata's birthday, and by preparation I mean deciding where to celebrate that fancy day, as she sarcastically called it. She missed Amadea, she was already starting to worry that she wouldn't come back for real,  she was even more worried that she didn't get a message from her today. And while Michelle was suggesting every club and café in town, she was just sitting there uninterested, rolling her eyes and staring in front of her. The short sound on the phone got her attention, so she looks at the message that just came in: "I came to the apartment during the day, I'm in town. I'm sorry if I upset you." Right after reading the message she jumped off the chair and quickly prepared to go outside, not paying attention to Michelle who looked at her confused until she left.