Willa Mansi

Sweet Becka

"Just pretend you love me," she urged as she walked us backwards towards my bed.

"It wouldn't be hard to pretend," I smiled as we bounced down on my bed.

"Make love to me," she whispered and kissed me softly, "Stay with me. Don't leave." She kissed me deeper and I held her tighter.

I kissed across her jawline and whispered near her ear, "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes," she panted as she pulled off my shirt and reached for my jean zipper.

I opened her clothes quickly and pulled them away as I shoved off my jeans. "Once I start...." I warned.

She kissed me hard and pulled me close. "Don't stop," she sighed near my ear, sending an electrical current down my spine. She moaned as I slid into her warmth. She felt so good; so right. It was as if a part of me remembered her. Deep in my brain I remembered my Becka.

"Will...ah," she sighed and slowly moved her hips with mine.

I smiled to myself. Now I understood the nick name.

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Once again....it was quiet.

But this time, it was an uncomfortable quiet.

I watched Becka as she slept. She was so beautiful and rested so peacefully. I wouldn't wake her to break her heart. I couldn't stay here. I had to leave. She was only beautiful to me because her eyes were closed. If she was awake, her eyes would be open and I would see it. I would see the hurt. I would see the hurt grow with every day because I couldn't remember her.

I wanted to. I wanted to remember loving her. I wanted to stay and love her from now on. But Becka wanted me to remember. She wanted the old Doc Will Mansi. I couldn't remember him. I was only Will. Dumb Will, who couldn't remember anything.

I couldn't watch Bud's hatred any longer either. I had done something to his wife and he completely hated me. Whatever it was had to of been awful. I wished I could remember that too, so I could fix it.

Maybe if I left for a while, the pressure to remember wouldn't be so intense and I would suddenly remember! I just needed a break....away from those expectant eyes.

I put my backpack on my shoulder and looked at her one more time. She was so beautiful. I realized that I did love her. I loved her to much to watch her loving eyes turn to hate.

I went to the door quickly and quietly snuck out. As I completely shut the door and turned around, I heard him. "So, you leaving?"

I looked to my left and saw Pop sitting in a chair on the porch. I sighed heavily and sat on the porch rail. "Yeah," I nodded.

"Where are you headed?" he leaned up and put his elbows on his knees.

"I don't know," I said sadly and looked across the street. Bud was saddling a horse.

"You'll need a horse. That foot of yours..." he laughed.

"It's just a toe," I laughed and looked at him. "It's better now."

"Don't stay away to long," he said softly.

I shook my head and looked down at my feet. "No. I just need to clear my head."

"What do you think you'll find out there, Son?"

"I dunno," I smiled at him, "Maybe the answers."

"I hope you remember us," he looked up at me. I thought to myself that he suddenly looked like an old man to me.

"I will always remember you guys," I looked over at Bud, "I'm just hoping I remember the past." I walked down the stairs and called over my shoulder, "Take care of everybody while I'm gone, Pop."

"You bet," he said.

"Rose is a good horse," Bud told me and held out the reins.

"Thanks," I nodded and took the reins.

"Make sure you remember before you come back here," he warned and held my eyes with his hard ones, "They won't stop me next time, Doc."

I held his stare for another minute and nodded, "Alright Bud. If I come back and I haven't remembered, I'll want you to shoot me." I climbed up on the horse and looked down at him, "I'd say put me out of my misery now, but I'm hoping time away from my lab will help me remember."

"A promise I can keep," he nodded firmly and walked away slowly.