Willa Mansi

What does it mean?

I had read as much as I could. None of it made sense. Most of it was "How To" books on survival, basic mechanics, and an instruction manual for a Sleeper machine. Behind me was the manuals of all the failed attempts of the Sleeper machine. I had written all of it out with my own hand! I, somehow, recognized my own handwriting, but didn't remember writing it.

It was all confusing. But also, a great sense of loss swallowed me and made me want to kill myself.

There was a way to interprete these formulas and wake up the people in my machines. But I couldn't figure it out.

Bud said I had done something to him. He must have meant that I had locked a loved one of his in my Sleeper machine. He expected me to release them! The answer had to be here! Why couldn't I remember?

"Hey," a soft voice said behind me, causing me to jump. "Oh," she laughed, "I'm sorry."

"What are you doing here?" I asked rummaging through papers.

"Pop called for you to join us for supper," she walked over to my desk, "You said okay but never came." She sat down a bowl, "I brought you some."

I looked at the stew in the bowl and the chunk of bread, then up at her, "I thought you wanted me shot."

"That was before I knew who you were," Becky laughed.

"And just WHO am I?" I fell back in my chair, to look up at her.

She shrugged, "Dr. William Mansi. The guy that knows how to get things running again."

"I have amnesia!" I snapped and tossed a book at the desk, knocking papers to the floor. "I can't remember shit!!" I yelled and ran my hands through my hair. "Maybe you're right. Tex should shoot me."

She laughed, "That old shotgun ain't got no bullets." I looked at her angrily. She shrugged, "Sorry. Well," she took a shakey breath, "you've been down here for hours. Maybe you just need a rest." I looked up at her and slowly shook my head. "No?" she looked down at my desk, "You'll figure it out, Willa."

"I hope so, Becka," I dropped my elbows on the desk. I starred at the black letters on the papers. I heard her gasp and hold her breath. I raised my eyes up from the papers and repeated, "Becka? Do I...." I looked up at her, "Did I know you?"

Her eyes were filled with tears and she nodded slowly. "I called you that!" I jumped up on my feet and she nodded again. "I remembered something!" I laughed and hugged her tight as she laughed. I shoved her away suddenly, "So you knew who I was all along?"

"Yeah," she shrugged.

I pointed at her angrily, "You kept telling Tex to shoot me!"

"That's right!" she put her hands on her hips and said angrily, "Anybody that forgets me needs to be shot!" She turned from me and ran up the stairs.

"You bitch!" I chased after her. I angrily followed her and grabbed her elbow.

I turned her to me and she slapped my face, "Bastard!" she yelled through her tears as I stumbled back a step.

I watched her stalk away and rubbed my stinging cheek. I followed her, catching her elbow again. This time, as I swung her around, I caught her wrist before she could slap me. "Hold it!" I ordered.

"Let go of me!" she growled through her teeth and jerked back to break free of my hold.

I held her easily and gave her a quick shake, "Hold still!" I barked in her face and she stopped. Her blue eyes pierced into mine and shimmered with tears. "Don't run off," I said softly, but kept my firm hold on her arms.

"Let me go," she said pathetically and tried to back up.

I took a step forward and frowned, "No."

"Why?" she looked up at me painfully and shook her head, moving to wipe her tears. I let her wipe them, but kept a hold of her. "Why, Willa?" she hick-upped a sob, "Why can't you remember me?"

"I want to," I said sorrowfully, feeling her pain in the deepest part of me. "Believe me!" I urged.

"Pop says you're supposed to remember us on your own," she narrowed her eyes at me, "but I can't wait." She suddenly bumped my hands away from her arms and threw them around my neck. She pulled me close, smashing her lips to mine. Her body felt so good, close to mine. I put my arms around her and held her tighter. I opened my lips, taking in her hungry tongue and tasting hers in a feverish return. She took my breath away and my blood raced in my veins. Her breasts crushed against mine and I felt her leg come up off the ground. I caught her leg and pulled up her knee, running my hand to her tight butt. Her calf circled around my body as I heard her groan.

"Becka?" I moaned in her neck and nibbled her flesh.

"Yes!" she groaned and clung to me as if she were drowning in our passion. "Willa, Willa," she breathed hotly in my ear.

"Stop. Stop," I held her out at arms length. I looked down at her swollen lips and ached to kiss them again.

"Why?" she panted on my lips and kissed me quickly.

"I can't remember," I closed my eyes painfully.

"See?" she laughed and pulled me closer.

"No!" I said sharply and she fell from my arms; wounded. "I'm sorry," I sighed and she looked up at me in confusion. I ran my hands through my hair irritably, "I don't remember. I don't remember you." Her eyes filled with tears and she took another step back. "I don't remember anything. I can't remember. I may never remember. What will we do if that's true?" I slapped my hands on my hips.

"I don't know," she said softly and I noticed her tears refused to fall, "I just want you to remember me." A sob caught in her chest and she turned from me, running away from me, into the darkness.

I didn't stop her.