Willa Mansi

Home Again

I was feeling pretty good, despite the fact that my shoulder was killing me. I had gotten my memory back and helped rescue Ann from the Sleeping Chamber. But deep in my chest, my heart ached. I wanted my life back too. I had gained memories but not enough of them. I felt cheated that Bud got his wife back and I didn't get my Becka back.

We had stayed the night at Blades ranch and I had tended to my shoulder wound. Tex had been right. It had gone straight through and wasn't hard to take care of. I wore a sling, telling myself that a few weeks of rest would make it better. But my heartache was constant.

"Ready Doc?" Tex laughed as he walked by me, to his horse.

"Yeah," I tried to sound cheerful.

Blade stepped out onto the front porch and held out his hand. "Good luck, Doc," he smiled.

"Thanks," I smiled back, shaking his hand. I frowned, "Nothing I can say will change your mind?"

"I'm fine right here," he smiled.

"If you change your mind," I started as I jogged down the stairs and got up on my horse.

"I know where Hotel City is," he laughed and waved.

I waved back and followed close behind the others as we headed toward Hotel City.

------‐--------------------------------------

On the ride back from Blade's ranch, I was reliving my old memories. I remembered Earth the way it was. I remembered my life with Becka. I remembered all the research work I had done with my Dad. I remembered the government contracts for all of our inventions and medical work. I was rich, smart, revered by my colleges, but it wasn't enough.

I wanted my life to have Becka in it. I wanted to hold her, kiss her and tell her that I loved her. I was willing to give up everything just to have her love me again. I wanted to make love to her and make her mine again!

Another memory struck my brain like lightning. I stopped my horse quickly, my breath catching in my throat.

"Doc, you okay?" Bud stopped his horse next to me.

My breath was gone, so I panted out in a whisper, "You dated Becka?"

He nervously looked back at Ann, to make sure she was out of ear shot. He looked at me and nodded once, "I tried to. I was heartbroken about Ann."

Hearing her name, she stopped her horse, "What is it?" she frowned.

I looked at her, then him, "You were just friends?"

He nodded, "Becky's a great friend. Helped me talk out my feelings about losing Ann and blaming you."

"You can't blame him," Ann gasped and reached out for Bud.

"Not anymore," he took her hand and leaned forward to kiss her.

"Then..." I let them finish and repeated, "Then who was she with while I was gone?"

Bud laughed and shook his head, "Just you dumbass."

My eyes blinked, "That means...."

"You're her baby's Pa," Tex laughed softly.

"I'm a...." I looked at Ann, then Bud.

Tex laughed as if he heard a joke, "I think yer tha last one ta figure it out!" I looked at him and my eyes widened. I could only stare at him. His laughter faded, then he asked seriously,  "You okay, Doc?"

"Everyone can quit asking me if I'm okay. I've been an idiot!" I yelled angrily and urged my horse, Rose towards Hotel City.

"Doc!" someone yelled from behind me, but I urged my horse faster.