Willa Mansi

Who I Am

I pushed back the plate and groaned up at Mama as she poured me another cup of coffee. "No more pie?" she laughed, hugging my shoulders.

"I'm stuffed like a turkey now!" I smiled and she laughed.

Pop laughed and swallowed a drink of his coffee. After she had walked away, he dropped his voice, "So tell me."

"What?" I frowned, sipping coffee.

"Remember anything?" he grinned and it slowly faded as I shook my head. "It'll come," he smiled again. I noticed the shadow of disappointment on his face and felt guilty.

"What if it doesn't? What if this is who I am now?" I touched my chest. I hated to disappoint him.

"Do you like who you are now?" he shrugged and I nodded. "Then that's all that matters," he swallowed hard and slapped my shoulder. The door slammed open loudly and the man scanned the room with hate filled eyes. When his eyes landed on me, his chin lowered and headed my way.  Pop asked, "Got a gun?"

"Yeah," I shrugged.

"Keep it hidden no matter what," he looked at me seriously.

He stopped at our table, "Did you grow a beard to hide who you really are? I know who you are, you son of a...."

I smiled up at him, interrupting, "No Bud. Just got lazy."

"So you remember who you are?" he asked in a low voice that threatened to explode with his anger.

"Now Bud," Pop warned.

"Coffee Sheriff?" Mama called out.

"Yeah," he said tightly, pulled out the chair across from me and sat down.

"Sheriff?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yes," he said in controlled anger, "If I wanted to, I could have shot you right off of Rose's back as you got into town and nobody would have said a word."

"Glad you didn't," I said and took another sip of coffee, ignoring how he trembled with controlled furry.

"Do you have your memory or not?" he looked down at the cup Mama sat down.

"Some things have returned," I shrugged and his eyes cut to mine. "Not the important ones, unfortunately," I reluctantly admitted.

"I see," he gritted his teeth hard and glared into his coffee cup.

"Don't you bloody up my floors, Sheriff," Mama warned and he looked up at her sharply. "I mean it. Let it go," she swiped her hand in a chopping motion. "We have," she added with a trembling whisper.

"She was my wife," he gritted.

"These people might have voted you in, but you kill Will in cold blood and they'll vote you out," Pop spoke up quickly.

"Or shoot you," Mama said, "Most of these people see him as Doc Willa, a country doctor. That's what you should do too."

He snapped up to his feet so quickly that his chair fell to the floor. "And let him get away with it?" he asked in a loud voice.

"Yes!" she barked back, "Now get outta my Hotel until you cool down and think about it."

"Fine!" Bud growled, turned and left quickly.

"It's alright everybody," Mama smiled at the other customers. She righted the chair and picked up the coffee pot, "Who needs more?" she smiled at me with tears in her eyes and walked away.

"You better be careful of him, Son," Pop warned.

I sighed heavily and shook my head, "His hatred for me has grown."

"You've no idea," he mumbled into his coffee and took a sip.

"What happened when I was gone?" I frowned.

"Well," he shrugged, "he got a little sweet on Becky...."

"My Becka?" I interrupted.

"Your Becka?" he laughed. I looked away, embarrassed. "You left town, Son," he reminded me gently, "You can't expect a pretty girl to wait for you. Especially when you leave without saying goodbye."

I starred into my coffee cup, "I couldn't. I just couldn't face her. The hurt in her eyes every time she looked at me, expecting me to remember and I didn't."

"I know this has been hard on you too, but there are other things to consider," he said and I looked up at him. He looked at me for a moment, then he sensed someone coming in the doorway and his eyes widened. His eyes closed tiredly and he sighed, "Shit."

"What?" I looked over at the door.

Becky walked over to our table quickly. "Becka!" I gasped and stood up.

She raised her hand and slapped my face hard. "How dare you come back here and don't call me that! It's Rebecca to you!" she said hatefully. She winced and put her hand on her stomach.

I could clearly see that Bud had gotten her pregnant. My Becka was carrying another mans child. My jealousy burned a solid green, but my temper flamed to a bright, hate filled red. "I don't know why you care," I said angrily and held my hand out to her stomach, "It's obvious that you have moved on."

Her eyes narrowed, "You ARE a son of a bitch," she took a sharp breath in, "Look. I don't know why you're here, but do your business and move on. You're not welcome here in Hotel City."

"I hadn't planned on it," I smiled at her wickedly, "but I just might spend some time in my lab."

She returned the wicked smile, "Still trying to remember the past that you so easily forgot?" she turned on her heel and stomped away, slamming the door on her way out.

"Damn it!" I snapped and fell down in my chair.

"You ok?" Pop snickered.

I rubbed my jaw and said for only his ears, "Felt that through the beard."

He laughed and shrugged, "It's a thin beard."

"She's a strong lady," I mumbled and felt a tooth.

"You'll be ok," he kept laughing.