"i loved him" you say through breathy sobs and salty tears. All the anger had faded at this point, you used it all up punching Brian in the face and now, you were just a blubbering mess. You hated this feeling. It made you so powerless, so submissive. You were letting him hurt you and get away with it. You hated yourself for feeling this way. For getting your hopes up when you knew he would just be like all the others. You were better off getting dragged home by that douche bag at the bar. "Bee I'm so sorry you had to see me like that."
"don't you dare apologise." She says holding your hand, trying to get something more out of you. You already regretted it. You regretted breaking up with him even though its was your only option. You still felt dirty and disgusting. It's like you have no self respect, like you've done something horrible to yourself, let someone ruin you and refused to defend yourself. "i care about you, I just want to make sure you're okay." You nod but can't answer. You didn't know if you were okay. You couldn't really give an answer.you were feeling a thousand and one different things at once and you couldn't get any of them out. "listen" you look to belle and her beautiful face while she hold your head in her hands. "i know you and Brian have been having issues, and I know I don't know to what extent, but Y/N, you can't blame yourself, and you can't assume everything he's done he does to spite you." You look at her, confused. So that kiss wasn't to spite you?
"what?"
"i mean, whatever you saw, whatever happened, it might not have been exactly what you thought it was." Bee, im meant to be strong, this isn't helping.. "in no way do you ever have to get back together with him. But maybe just, hear him out. He obviously wants to explain himself, it might make you feel better." She gives you a kiss on the forehead, and for a second it feels like she's your mum. Bee always knows how to make you feel warm, and good, and loved.
"Bee you are such a good friend.. thank you." She smiles, and you laugh, breathing out all the heartache you've felt this afternoon and placing your head softly on her shoulder. Realising that all things in life can't be perfect forever, that fighting, and breakups and self hatred were all inevitable. It's sad, but it's life. So you don't cry, you just enjoy this very moment with your very best friend. "i think I will. I'll talk to him. But not yet.. I need some time." Bees strokes your head softly, you could fall asleep right there if your heart wasn't still pounding from everything that had just gone down.
"Im so proud of you." She smiles, standing up and reaching her hand out for you to do the same. And you thought you were the mature one in this relationship.. but Bee had maturity spilling from her ears. You stand up and dust yourself off, not really knowing where you were going next, but guess you had to start walking. Even though the thought of walking made you want to vomit.
"Hi everyone." A voice echoes and you seize up where you stand, the voice penetrating you, pouring anger and regret into the very core of your being.
"This is John, Roger, Freddie, and I'm Brian. And we are Queen." Bee gasps and looks at you excited but cautious, you look back at her, telling her you'd rather vomit with your eyes.
"C'mon, lets get closer." She pleads and grabs your hand, but you aren't having it. You'd just broken up with the man, you couldn't imagine watching him on stage in the very way you first saw him, in the same situation you where in when you first fell into his eyes. Bee realises your reluctance and smiles sweetly at you. She was so lovely... "I'll be next to you the whole time, you don't have to talk to him." reluctantly, you nod and make your way towards the front of the stage area. I mean.. to be fair, you were the one that made them sign up for this in the first place it would be kind of unfair if you didn't watch them, after all it wasn't just Brian up there.. even though the thought of him made you want a knife and a box of tissues.. god, Y/N, pull yourself together, you're fine. You hear a few chords strum out through the speakers and that same shiver travels one again down your spine, making everything around you seem unimportant. You slightly recognise them, but can't quite place it, you don't think you've heard them play this live before, but you've definitely heard this song. The intrigue almost made you forget for a second, almost made you stop hurting.
