the suffering of harry potter

chapter two.

Disclaimer!

Trigger Warnings

This chapter includes mentions of:

- abuse/negligence

- panic attacks. 

Please read at your own risk. 

stay safe, I love you guys, and if you's need anything, feel free to reach out to me, my messages are always open. I'm here for you all. 

Now on with the story!

chapter two.

{draco's pov}

I never thought they would have let me back into Hogwarts, not after everything I had done. I should be rotting away in an Azkaban cell right now, its the least I deserve. But no. He saved my life. He did it. Oh Saint Pottah had to do it. No. Harry saved my life. No matter how hard I tried to admit to myself that the only feeling I feel towards him was hate, I know deep down, it was a lie. Oh no, Mr. Boy Wonder owns a very special place in my heart, a place that I can't explain, feelings I can't explain. 

Let me backtrack, I haven't always liked him. Don't get me wrong, I used to hate him, for a long time. He rejected me and my stupid handshake way back whenever, but I totally understand why now. I was a snob! I would like to say that I've grown a lot since then, but don't quote Pansy on that. She makes me out like this big drama queen!

So I was mad at one Harry Potter for a long time. I had always visioned us as friends, not because of my so called father or anything, I just really wanted a real friend back then, not like the goons, Crabbe and Goyle, I wanted real friends. So the 'hatred' I had felt towards Harry for so long was only fueled by jealousy. I watched him with his Mudb- Granger, and Weasel, and honestly, I was just jealous. I wanted to be part of that friendship, he looked so happy! I just wanted to make him happy.

Anyways.

As time went on, I saw Harry for who he actually was. He was, is, just a boy, who was thrown into the deep end at such a young age, with the pressure of the entirety of the wizarding world on his shoulders. The world expected way too much of the poor guy. I saw the cracks in his mask, I saw the pain in his poorly portrayed 'happiness'. It was a façade, I noticed the struggle. 

But through all of that, I realised something else about the boy. Something wasn't quite right. I noticed something that no one has ever noticed, or at least never thought about enough to care. I know something happens at his muggle home, I know an abused kid when I see one. Even if his friends don't see it. He was flinchy, and jumped at the slightest noise. He retracted the instant someone raised a hand towards him. 

But somehow he still had everyone convinced he was fine. Through perfectly placed masks, smiles, and lame excuses, he convinced the few people who cared enough to notice that everything was okay. It was just 'reflex'.

But no, it wasn't healthy, and I wanted to help him. 

It's a new year, and it will never be the same again. It's eighth year, everyone has changed from the horrific tragedies of the war. We've all changed. 

I wanted to be able to make it up to Harry. I want to apologise for all of my past mistakes. I want to be able to show him I've changed, just like everyone else. And I want to attempt to friend him again. I want to help him recover. Because it doesn't take a genius to realise that he was struggling. Yes the Golden Boy, Harry Potter, the chosen one, was struggling. But how couldn't he? He lead the light side of the war to glory. He saved everyone! But that had to come with consequences. 

When I last saw him, it was at the trials, my trial. It didn't take a magnify glass to realise he wasn't coping. He was awfully thin, dark pockets enclosed his under eyes, giving the impression he hadn't slept in weeks, and he was scruffy. He already looked like he had attempted, and failed a poorly placed glamour, so how bad could he possibly be under that?

I wanted to help him, I have this desire that lays within the depths of my soul that I can't explain. It's telling me to help him. 

Having made up my mind, I began mentally preparing myself, what was I going to say, what was I going to do?

Before I got too in-depth into thinking of what I had to do, I heard, rather than saw, the compartment door fly open. He came bursting into the compartment, eyes glistening and hands shaking, obviously having some type of panic attack. It was the Harry potter. Harry! I went by completely unnoticed, I think he was too caught up in his own head, some type of memory. It concerned me, I didn't want to see him like this, it hurt my heart in a way I couldn't explain.

After all I just wanted to be friends with him, he deserved the world, and I wanted to help him on his way there. I needed to help him.

And now!

His skin had paled to an unnatural shade of white, his breath was ragged and rushed, it wasn't healthy. I worried that he was going to pass out. He was curled in on himself, one hand wrapped around his stomach and waist, the other grabbing at his hair. 

I needed to act, and fast! What to do. Come on Draco think! He needed help, and comfort, now!

Yes. 

Without a second thought, I flew off the seat where I had planted myself on earlier, and dragged myself down towards the ground. Taking caution as to not work him up any further, I left a safe distance between us. There was no point in getting him any more scared, and fearful then he is now. 

Taking a deep breath, I slowly and cautiously reached my hands out towards him. In the most calming and neutral voice I could muster, I spoke the first words that came to my head;

"Potter-?"

For fuck sake Draco, good one. 

Words: 1000 (why it was on the dot like that, I'll never know)

Author's Notes :)

Hi Again!  

Here is chapter two, THE CHAPTER SOMEONE WAS ACTUALLY WAITING FOR!!!

I didn't think anyone was actually going to read this story, so when I come on Wattpad this afternoon after I finished school to finish editing this, and realised people had been upvoting, commenting and saving this too their reading lists, I WAS SO HAPPY.  Thank you guys so much, and I hope this chapter doesn't let you guys down. 

This chapter was just a bit of a back story of Draco, it isn't a lot of new information, so I'm so sorry if you guys find this boring. I just wanted to fill in the blanks that kinda filled my head. Please leave feedback though, I love hearing about it. And once again, I'm sorry for any spelling/punctuation/grammar issues, I'm trying!

Anyways!

Like I said, I'm not sure how long it's going to take between updates, I've only been at school for three days, and I'm already being smashed with homework, it sucks, I already want to give up sigh. 

Well I think that's all from me today angels. I just wanted to thank you guys again, you's are all incredible. 

Look after yourselves, go drink some water, you're doing incredible and I am so very proud of you. 

I love you guys.

And until next time :)

Clouds <3