A Different Kind of Love

Giving Up- Hotch

Based on the prompt, "Maybe dying's just easier than fighting through another goddamn day." Reader has suicidal thoughts, wondering if continuing to wake up everyday is worth it. Hotch brings her up from the depths, he'd never let anyone he loves drown. Rossi lends a helping hand to who he sees as a daughter.

You hadn't been feeling your best for days. Your usual cheerful smile had vanished, the light from your eyes now dull and bleak. You woke up and kept asking yourself, why am I even getting up today? Everyday felt the same. Wake. Go to work. Complete paperwork. Go home. Eat. Go to bed. Then, restart.

You stopped greeting everyone as they arrived to work, keeping your nose buried in case files. You didn't joke with Derek anymore. You didn't share books with Spencer anymore. You stopped going on coffee breaks with Rossi. You barely visited Garcia in her office. You didn't go out with JJ or Emily on the weekends. You had even lost interest in your boss, the man you had feelings for. You didn't see the point anymore. He didn't see you and you didn't have the energy to flirt to joke with him anymore.

You thought no one batted an eye, barely noticing something was up with you. But the whole team had noticed and they were worried. They had a reason, your smile was gone, they hadn't heard you laugh in weeks, and you didn't even blush when Hotch talked to you. You were just...there.

Garcia told Derek to try and get you working out with him again, but you declined. All of the girls tried to get you out of your apartment, but you always found an excuse not to go. Spencer gave you your favorite books to read, but you hadn't turned a page in them.

Maybe it was Rossi who felt something was really wrong- that this wasn't just a normal 'slump.' He was like a father to you and knew something was off. Even when you were upset with someone on the team, you at least talked with him over lunch or on a coffee break. You declined every offer he threw out there. And as he watched you lose weight, dark circles forming under your eyes, and the light all but leave you- he had had enough. He couldn't watch you do this to yourself and he knew just the person to bring you up from the depths of your own mind.

So, without a second thought, he entered Hotch's office and shut the door. He sat himself down in front of Hotch's desk in one of the chairs without an invite. Hotch looked up, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. When Rossi didn't explain himself, Hotch set his work to the side and gave the older man his full attention.

"Dave, what's on your mind?" He asked, clasping his hands on his desk politely.

Rossi crossed his arms over his chest, "Have you taken a good look at this team lately?"

Hotch's eyebrows rose, "What do you mean? Our performance is beyond exceptional and-"

"That's not what I mean, Aaron." Rossi had pulled the Aaron card now to get his full attention. Rossi inhaled deeply and blew out a breath. "Look out that window and tell me what you see." Hotch looked unamused by his old mentor's antics, but nonetheless, he glanced out of his office window.

His eyes traveled over the bullpen, looking over his beloved team. Derek was joking with Emily about God knows what. Spencer was reading a book out loud to JJ, the both of them laughing over something. Hotch was about to curse Rossi for drawing him away from his work, when he saw you.

You were slouched over your desk, busy writing reports. But it wasn't just that. You had dark circles under your eyes, your skin paler than usual. Your eyebrows were scrunched up, eyes blinking as if in tiredness. Hotch could tell from your droopy clothes you had lost weight. As Hotch trailed his eyes over you, he realized you weren't the same woman as before. Something was most definitely wrong.