CHAPTER FOURTEEN: STARDUST

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He would never forgive himself for leaving Batyyk. When he came to on that smoke-filled street, he was too weak to stand. Stormtroopers made their rounds, checking for any survivors. He couldn't move, even when they stepped over him. They didn't check if he was alive. He could feel the cold hand of a stranger pressed against the side of his neck. How many bodies was he laying on? 

Minutes went by and the stormtroopers left, and still Cassian did not move.

The absence of her was everywhere.

She were gone. Pulled out of his reach, beaten and dragged into a building that collapsed while he watched helplessly from the sidelines. Someone had hit him after, sending him to the road to be stepped on until the explosions stopped and everyone in the city had been killed, arrested, or escaped. 

And now he was without her. 

When hands pulled him up from the debris, he knew it wasn't her. He groaned as he was heaved up onto his feet unwillingly. Kay was speaking to him but he couldn't hear. 

"Cassian! Get up. It's not safe for you to be in this atmosphere." 

"No," he mumbled. Kay kept moving him. "I said no! No--- she's..." 

"She's dead, Cassian," Kay said simply, matter-of-factly. But his voice became more sympathetic as he watched Cassian's exhausted, broken face. "Her chances of survival were only fourteen percent by the time the third explosion went off and---" 

"Kay," Cassian pleaded. "Don't... don't." 

"I'm sorry, Cassian," he said, and Cassian wasn't sure if it was his carelessness in choice of words or the fact that he had lost her, but he leaned on his droid and let him drag him back to the ship. 

Two and a half days of recuperation. Plenty of scolding. A lot of tension in the air. Home felt less like home now. They advised against it, but he was ready to get back into the action before the third day. He would never be able to forgive himself if her mission wasn't completed. She had risked her entire life and then given her entire life to make sure he lived. It was only fair that he made the most out of what she had gifted him. He would make her proud and he would give the Rebellion a second shot, no matter what. 

The Ring of Kafrene was a journey he didn't want to make. He found Tivik pacing in the back of an alleyway, a look of worry on his face. 

"I was about to leave!" 

"I came as fast as I could," he said, a forced smile on his face. 

"I have to get back on board. Walk with me---" 

Cassian grabbed his shoulder. "Back to Jedha?" 

"They'll leave without me!" Tivik pushed through, panting. 

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