Focus (Denki angst)

1. Mirror

Getting up is the worst part of the day, aside from the entire day, and night, and the day after that and after that and after that.

Ok, so maybe it's just my life that's the worst part of... my life?

Getting up wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to look in the mirror.

God I hate the mirror.

All it does is show me how much of a fuck up I am.

Every morning I end up staring at myself until it's not me anymore, it's some guy who can't even look after himself, who everybody hates, who fails every single class.

"That's you."

"That's you."

"That's you."

I'd say on repeat until I belive it, though it usually doesn't work and walk to school, well my body walks to school. Maybe it's not my body. Maybe after all that it's not me. Though not being me wouldn't be too bad.

Funny thing is, during the day I'm not me. I'm this happy, go-lucky idiot-

well the idiot part is actually me.

-Who somehow always makes people laugh, and strikes up a conversation with anybody in the class.

It's like some sort of cruel joke, seeing as I couldn't be any further from that guy.

But hey, It'll be fine because at least I can make a few people happy.

"DENKI KAMINARI PAY ATTENTION!" The teacher yells, jolting me awake

"Sorry!"

The class laughs while Mr Aizawa lectures me on 'how I need to pay attention or he'll kick me out.'

I can't get kicked out, being a hero is my lifelong dream. I'm trying to study more, and pay attention. But it's so unbelievably hard, I used to be so convinced that it was all a prank, how everybody else acts like it's so easy. But it's been going on for far too long, I don't think anybody would bother keeping up the act. So how the hell does everybody else manage to be able to work properly??

"DENKI, AGAIN?!" Aizawa snaps his fingers in front of my face, I didn't even noticed he moved closer to me.

The classes laughter just gets louder, all their voices blending together, I can see Aizawa infront of me but I can't hear what he's saying. He looks kind of worried now. He's still talking to me, is the laughter somehow getting louder? Is the teacher still in front of me. Man I'm going to get in so much trouble. A hand taps my shoulder

"Huh?..." Well at least I heard my stupid voice then

"Denki, I was asking if you were ok." Mr Aizawa is now crouching next to me, why isn't he angry? Actually now that I mentioned it, he looks even more worried than before

"Yeah I'm good, why?" I send him a weak smile, I don't really get what's happening right now, I just phased out like I always do. If anything he should be yelling at me like he was before

"What do you mean why? You didn't reply for roughly 10 minutes, I had to send the class to lunch early because you just wouldn't move or anything."

Well that can't be good

Wait 10 minutes? Holy shit, he's right, the class room is completely empty except for us. I could have sworn it was only like a few seconds!

"Oh God! I'm so sorry! I'll pay attention, just give me another chance!" I clamber off my seat to bow in front of him, my idiotic self forgot he was kneeling, making the whole situation kind of awkward.

"Jesus kid, you gotta stop staying up so late, what do you do all night anyway?" He stands up, so I stop bowing, I keep trying to look in his eyes but I just can't I need to look away, so I end up awkwardly looking at him then at the wall behind him, over and over again.

"I don't know, whenever I check the time it's always late, I try to do my homework! I swear! I just can't! But I'll do it this time!" 

"I swear you just play video games at night, I will give you another chance, if your homework isn't handed in on time this time, then there will be consequences. Understand?"

I'll be fine, I can do the work that's due tomorrow at lunch today!

"Understood, thankyou!" I bow again and hurry out of the classroom in search of my friends.