Denki POV:
Time: 3:00
Mr Aizawa let me not go to the rest of the classes today, saying something like how I "need to refocus and being in class right now wont help."
Why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to be the dumb kid? The class clown?
What am I doing with my life? Everybody knows the class clown doesn't actually make it anywhere in life, they just disappear after school...
I don't wont to disappear, not in that way at least.
My whole life I wanted to be a hero, and I still do! It's just... It's a lot more work than I thought it'd be...
I guess I just want to help other people, I mean, it's not like my life on it's own has a purpose, I'm only purposeful when I help or cheer up others not that I'm that good at it...
Anyway, sulking isn't going to do anything, it's worthless, kinda like me ha. anyway, tuturing or something, it's supposed to be in one of the school classrooms, I'm so glad it's not in the library, theres no doubt people would laugh at me.
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"Denki Kaminari, so glad you could join us today, please take a seat somewhere."
Already people are murmuring, it's kinda of funny how they think nobody notices, what I just happen to walk in at the exact time you're whispering to each other are staring at me? Fat chance. I take a seat at the back of the classroom, I don't want to be here, and not just at this stupid tutoring, here in general.
I mean, it's not like I'd be missed, people hate me and I look so fucking ugly, I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!
How come everybody else gets to be so fucking perfect and yet here I am being a fucking disappointment, I can't even do the most basic school homework how the fuck am I meant to be a hero?!
Man I must be so fucking full of myself to even think I could be good enough to be here! How the fuck am I in 1-a? How haven't they kicked me out yet?! I'm sure theres tonns of better people out there!
"You ok there?"
I turn to look for who said that, some guy with purple hair is sitting a seat away from me, he looks kind of worried. And of course I fucked up again and made people worry about me. I'm a fucking moron!
"Huh? Oh yeah haha I just phased out..."
I show him a pretty well practised grin if I do say so myself.
"You were like full on panicking man, that wasn't phasing out."
Ah shit I fucked up, not surprisingly
"Oh, sorry about that then. Hey what's your name? I don't think I've seen you around."
"You don't have to apologise, I was just checking up on you. My names Hitoshi Shinso, what's yours?"
Shinso huh? It's a nice name
"I'm Denki Kaminari! what class are you in?"
"I'm joining 1-a in a few days actually, I'm replacing somebody I think, not sure who though. What about you?"
Replacing?
They're going to replace me
it finally happened
they hate me
they're kicking me out for real
This is it.
Theres nothing left for me
I'm going to die on the streets
It's not like anybody would take me in
They all hate me anyway
Maybe at least that way I can fucking starve to death
It's what I deserve anyway.
But this is really it.
No more dreams of being a hero
"Man are you ok? You keep on freaking out."
Oh fuck Shinso's here, nice one idiot.
"Sorry! This is the second time, I'm so sorry! Uhhh what was your question before sorry? Was it what class I was in?"
God you can't even remember what fucking question he asked!
"It's ok, honestly you don't need to apologise so much, I just wanted to know if you were ok."
See? You made him worry about you, you really are disappointing...
Wait when did I start thinking in third person? What?
"I'm good, sorry, I mean- I wont do it again, so don't worry."
Again I show him a bright smile, he looks at me weirdly. I don't get what I'm doing wrong, first I apologised and that was wrong??
Then I said I wouldn't do it again and that's still not right?
I'm so confused.
"You don't need to-"
"Alright everybody, sit down please, we're about to start, I will hand out some pages and just answer as much as you can, todays just about seeing how good you are."
I give Shinso a smile and start on the work
Maybe it won't be as bad if he's here.
YOU ARE READING
Focus (Denki angst)
FanfictionFocus, that's all Denki needs to do. So why does he keep failing every class? Why can't he ever finish his work? TW: Eating disorders, depression, self deprecating thoughts, maybe sh
