Love Hurt - Poem

31 year-old

Yes, he is not a 31-year-old man standing in front of me.
He is a young boy, 13 year-old boy whom I really know.

His smile is still the same.
His gaze is still the same.
Why? Because it's only me inside the gaze. He always looked at me no matter what happened. So I really know his smile, his frown, his laugh, his anger, his love.

Yes, he doesn't look like 31-year-old man standing in front of me.
Though smoke linger around his air.
I still can smell his sweet care and feel his tender voice when he talks to me.
Always like that, low voice that frighten to talk to me. Afraid of revealing his true feeling. Afraid of revealing his loud heart beat. Afraid the world will know that he loves me, still loves me, always loves me.

He is still the boy that I ever knew 20 years ago.
The boy who loves me but afraid to show his feeling.
Though the entire world already knew his heart for me.
But still, he tried to hide it as deep as possible. Burry it deep inside his chest.
The boy who finally had a gut to ask me out one day.
The boy who never said his true feeling.. to me. Never.
If ever he told me his feeling, maybe we are couple nowadays.

I still can feel you.
I still can feel your feeling.
Though you are 31 year-old now, I still can feel your gaze.
Your secret care.
Your heart beat.
Your gaze.
Yes, I still can feel it.
Cuz I know you can feel mine as well.