Dead To Me

Fred

I pace around my dorm  The bed which hasn't been slept in in weeks. And as much as i long for it, over the cold hard hospital chair, i can't sit down, i can't sleep.

I turn around.

Fred: are you sure ? are you sure that... that's what they said ?

George: yeah. McGonagall wanted me to tell you, um...

Fred: he's gone ? he's really gone ?

George: they think so, They wouldn't go into detail, they wouldn't say anything... there are rumours, but he jumped, from the astronomy tower... i don't think anyone can survive that.

Fred: she can't come back here

George: what ?

Fred: i don't think she'll survive if she comes back here. i wouldn't be able to.

George: where will you go ?

I shrug

Fred: Mums ? maybe... i know you and me were thinking of buying the flat above the Joke shop... it's got enough rooms for you to have one, and me to share with Avonlea... i did it, i bought it, and i could go there with her... in a bit... it needs work, but...

George: slow down Freddie

Fred: i cant, i cant or ill cry, and if i cry i won't stop, and i have to be strong for her. i have to.

George: i've barely seen you. she didn't tell you about the pregnancy, she didn't tell you and this is how you found out. that has to hurt, that has to break your heart more than i can even comprehend.

Fred: no-

George: Fred just-

He sighs and holds out his arms, as i run into them, tears streaming down my face. He rubs my back and got the first time i weeks i cry, and i feel safe in my twins arms.

Fred: i don't want to tell her Georgie, she loves him, how can she not ? she was pregnant with his baby. I cant see her break anymore. Fuck i fell in love with someone who was so tangled up with her ex that it lead to this.

We're interrupted by a knock on the door, it's gentle, and George goes to open it. It's Luna Lovegood. She smiles at George and walks towards me, taking my hands.

Luna: Jelly, and chips.

Fred: what ?

Luna: those are her comfort foods. When you go and tell her, bring her those. She loves opening stuff so maybe wrap them up ? And don't bring her back here, or she'll spend the whole time trying to figure out why, trying to feel how he did, she'll work herself up until she's in the same position and she can't survive. Bring her some of your hoodies. She won't want her own clothes because they'll remind her of him. All she'll see is him. Bring her your hoodies and shorts, and then when she's ready, take her shopping.

Fred: what ?-

Luna: and tell her as soon as you see her, straight. get to the door and don't even step inside, say it. and don't take pity on her. She hates that. Tell her, then immediately change the conversation... i don't know; to the food you've brought. start offering her some, ask what flavour she wants first, if she wants any extra toppings and that you'll run down and buy more if she does, and about whether she's getting out soon.

She pauses for a minute, blinking away the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Luna: I really want to do this myself, help her... but i can't. I can't see her, i can't go see her, that wouldn't be right... i would remind her too much of the past, and him, and how much comfort he brought her. and don't tell her i talked to you until she's okay, so she doesn't call me, so she doesn't try and lean on me when it should be you. you saw her at her most vulnerable and if there's anyone else, she'll want to push you away, because she doesn't show that often. She'll be okay Fred. She will be okay, in time. give her time.

I stare at her

Fred: How do you know all this ?

Luna: i dated her before

On the other side of the room, George chokes on the bottle of water he was drinking, coughing, bending down.

George: What ?

She looks over to him and smiles.

Luna: ages ago, in a past life almost. it was just one of those things. i don't think now is the toght time to go into it, later, when she's better, i just think you needed this advice, this help.

She leans up, and kisses me on the cheek. Turning around, back to me, before she walks out.

Luna: and for the love of God Freddie, keep me updated on her, please ?

Fred: Thank you Luna

She smiles and winks, before walking out, shutting the door behind her. I look up at George, and we both laugh.

Fred: i have to go.

George: Good luck Freddie... call me as soon as you can, i want to help you. we all do.

I nod, smile, and close my eyes, ready to apparate.