Faith In Me

3.

After everything was said and done, Robert went back up to his room. Robert sat on his bed, alone. Robert glanced around before sighing softly, the feeling of cold numbness creeping up his spine returning. Robert realized that he didn’t like being alone anymore- not as much as he used to. 

Robert layed down on his bed, letting out a sigh when his head landed on his flat pillow. Robert kicked his shoes off, staring at the ceiling with a small frown resting on his face. Robert scratched his cheek, wondering if he really could sing. He hadn’t ever thought about it before- what if he sounds like a dying cat?

Robert didnt want to make a fool of himself… but, at the same time, what was the worst that could happen? It's a shame Simon wasn’t involved though, Robert had a feeling Simon was talented. Robert sat up, feeling restless. Robert looked over to his guitar- he hadn’t picked it up in months. It was dusty and needed new strings.

Robert bit his lip, slowly getting out of bed. “Well if i'm going to be playing more often i suppose i need to clean you up..” robert mumbled out loud, grasping the neck of his guitar and lifting it up. Robert laid the guitar down on his bed, before looking around his room for a pack of new strings and clippers.

Robert had stolen his dad’s clippers months ago- he hides them from his dad; mostly because robert didn want to go out to a tool shop and struggle to get what he needed. Once Robert found his clippers he sat down and began to clean/ replace the strings on his guitar.

Robert found it almost therapeutic. And once robert was done- he actually felt a bit proud of himself. Robert hummed, setting the guitar in his lap and strumming it. He had turned it after restringing, and now Robert realized… just how rusty he was when playing the guitar.

It felt like he hadn played in years, and now the insecurities of having to perform and how his skills''as lol said was eating at robertś stomach. Surely he had completely forgotten how to play, right?

Robert bit his lip and sighed, knowing that if he wanted this to work, that is he was going to somehow make a living off of music- he was going to have to get back into the swing of things.  That sounded a lot harder than it looked- and after fighting with himself for a good 5 minutes, Robert decided to give up and go to bed; deciding that he would go to the market the next day and buy a few books to remind himself how to play.

Robert hoped it was like riding a bike.

~~~~

Okay; so obviously trying to remember everything on guitar was going to be a whole lot more difficult than robert previously thought. He had spent about 3 hours practicing- having zoned out and not realized that it was now the evening time.

Robert's fingers hurt, but there was something therapeutic about it. With a heavy hearted sigh Robert placed his guitar down and scratched his cheek, feeling a little bit of stubble resting there. 

"Need to shave.." Robert mumbled, slowly meandering his way to the shared bathroom and grabbing his razor to get rid of the offending stubble upon his cheek.

Robert didnt know why he hated having facial hair; maybe it was because he was young. After Robert had successfully shaved he eyed his features in the mirror.  For the longest time Robert always felt so mediocre, like there was something missing in his appearance. Robert just didn't know what.

Robert glanced down to the sink, seeing his sister's ruby red lipstick. Robert set his jaw, a jarring idea suddenly popping up in Robert's brain. 'Surely she wouldn't care…' Robert thought, picking up the lipstick and opening it. 

Robert glanced to the door, making sure it was locked before slowly smearing the red stain over his pale lips. Robert wasn't the best at applying it, though when he had finished robert realized that he… quite liked it actually.