Faith In Me

12.

Robert picked at his food. He was sitting at the dinner table of his home, eating with his family for what felt like the first time in months. Robert personally didn’t want to be there, he would much rather be sitting in his room with a bottle of vodka in his hand; obsessing over his situation with simon.

Since what happened, Robert had felt all sort of off balance. He couldn't sleep well, he didn’t talk to Mary much, he avoided simon. Robert didn't want to risk something like that happening again, but he also knew he would have to face simon eventually. Robert swallowed thickly before placing down his fork and looking around the table.

“Not hungry robert?” Rita asked, looking at her son with a curious expression. “No… not really” Robert mumbled, now drawing circles on the ground. Rita hummed before placing her fork down, “well.. You can leave then.'' Rita sighed, lifting her drink to her lips.

Robert felt a pang of guilt, but he pushed it down. He needed to talk to lol- or at least get some alcohol in his system. Robert stood from the table, walking away. He could heard his father muttering about him under his breath; and robert wondered what he had done to upset his family so much. 

Robert let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair before ascending the stairs to go to his room when he suddenly heard his phone ringing in his room. Robert walked through his bedroom door and stared at the phone, hesitating to answer before he slowly picked up the phone.

“”Hello?” robert asked, slowly sitting down on his bed. “Robert- hi..” Simon said on the other line, sounding shy, hesitant almost.

Robert bit his lip, waiting for Simon to say something before sighing softly. “Did you need something simon?” Robert asked quietly, as if someone were listening to him. Robert felt guilty just talking to Simon, he hated feeling this way. Robert hated that he allowed Simon to do such things to him, to touch him in THAT way. 

Most of all though, Robert hated that he had liked it so much.

“Ah- right… erm, i was just calling to let you know that lol wants to do band practice tonight.”  Simon said, sounding a bit dejected. Robert pulled on his shirt, “ah… ok. I’ll be there.” Robert said, feeling anxious from how awkward and tense the conversation was.

“Robert i-” Simon started but Robert didn’t want to hear it. If he had to listen to Simon speak, he’d rather it be face to face at least. “-i’ve gotta to go simon..'' Robert cut Simon off, closing his eyes. 

There was a moment of silence before there was a small exhale on the other line, “o-oh… well.. Alright then. I’ll see you at lol's then.'' Simon said, voice quiet. 

Robert sighed before hanging up, staring at the floor before holding his head in his hands. Robert gripped his hair before closing his eyes, “what the fuck am i going to do..” robert whispered, mind racing with thoughts. 

~~~~

Robert mindlessly strummed his guitar, sitting on his stack amp before straightening is posture. Hie back was still tender from the fight with matthew, but it was healing well. Robert hadn’t seen matthew since, which he guessed was a good thing since simon made it clear that Mathew is not welcome anymore.

Robert was avoiding Simon, or at least trying his best to not be alone with him. Robert stuck close to lol, or with this new fellow named porl thompson. Robert hadn’t met this bloke before, but he seemed rather nice.  Robert sighed softly, reaching over and taking his beer into his hand and looking across the room where porl talked happily with lol.

Lol looked better now, he had apologized to robert and stated away from mathew. Robert wondered if something similar happened between lol and matthew. Robert tilted his head, eyeing porl before taking a drink. Robert sighed, noticing that he was finally out of drink. Robert sighed, wondering how much more he would have to drink before he could forget.