pie guy | sweeney todd x reader

7

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"And I'll never see Johanna. No I'll never hug my girl to me..." this man has more mood swings than a twelve year old girl going through puberty.

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"I had him." Todd stated while Mrs. Lovett stood awkwardly at the door. "I had him!"

He continued to pace around the room, sighing and mumbling to himself.

"His throat. His throat was bare beneath my hands." he was stressed and furious, this was all he wanted.

"There there dear, calm down." Mrs. Lovett said slowly walking over to him. He started to yell at her, saying that it was her fault he lost his chance. Mrs. Lovett looked terrified as he continued his way towards her.

"We all deserve to die!" he growled as he pinned Mrs. Lovett's petite body onto the wall. Kinky.

He continued to shout about how everybody deserved to die, even the best of the best.

"And I'll never see Johanna. No I'll never hug my girl to me..." this man has more mood swings than a twelve year old girl going through puberty.

He started to talk to the air, seeming as if there were really men there. Mrs. Lovett watched him have his tantrum while she stood there trying not to laugh.

He started to talk about Lucy, his poor wife. He slammed his fist into the ground in defeat, and Mrs. Lovett couldn't hold it in anymore. Luckily he didn't hear her chuckle since he was still having his crisis.  

"That's all very well, but what're we gonna do about him?" Mrs. Lovett said pointing to the body while staring at the man literally sweating from the performance he just put on.

"Oh you useless thing, come on." she brought him downstairs and sat him down on a bench. She handed him a bottle and he started to chug it down.

"Now, we got a body moldering away upstairs. Now, what do you intend we should do about that, then?" she asked.

"I don't know, later on when it's dark I'll take it to some secret place and bury him."

"Hm. Guess we could do that. You know, seems a downright shame." she replied.

They continued to go back and forth until he finally understood what she was saying. Wow, their first instinct is to kill random dudes and turn them into pies! How creative.

"We cannot tell Toby or (y/n) about this though. Their souls are too pure." Mrs. Lovett told him sternly. He nodded slowly and smirked.

"Sup fuckers, Toby's sober again." (y/n) announced as she and Toby walked back into the pie shop.

Mrs. Lovett smiled kindly and gently asked the two to start helping in the shop. Todd slowly slipped away from the group and headed upstairs to create his death trap.

He spent hours and hours preparing a chair that would lean back so the bodies fell into the cellar, while the other three worked on making dough.

Everything was set, it was perfect. They have planned the perfect crime, and nobody would know because there would be no evidence. It was beautiful.

They started right away, slitting the throats of any male in need of a shave. As promised, (y/n) and Toby were kept out of it. They made the dough while Mrs. Lovett constructed the meat portion of the pies.

Business was going swell, people actually enjoyed the pies. Whenever (y/n) tried to eat one, Sweeney would swoop in and stop her from doing so. She never understood, but also never questioned it.

"Hey Mr. Todd!" (y/n) exclaimed as she made her way into his shop. They had an unspoken agreement that everyday at 5pm she would come in and they would just talk. It had been going on for about a week, and Todd seemed to actually enjoy it.

"Hello darling," he replied, tidying up the loose hair on the ground, "how has your day been?"

"Same old same old. Baking bread for six hours is more of a workout than you would think. How was yours?" she laughed quietly.

"People piss me off." he stated blankly.

"Well, if someone gets annoying, just...you know..shoot them." (y/n) smirked.

"Shoot them?"

"Politely."

He stared at her for a second, studying her smile as she giggled. He moved closer to her, their faces inches away from each other.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer," (y/n) said, "okay seriously what's-"

Before she could finish, his lips crashed into hers. (y/n) was startled at first, but soon she leaned into the kiss.

She tangled her fingers in his curls while one hand of his laid gently on her waist, and the other held the cool blade of his knife against the back of her neck.

They both pulled away slowly, their foreheads leaned on each other while they tried to comprehend what had just happened.

"Well, didn't expect that one. Don't know whether to kiss you again or throw you off a bridge." (y/n) said breathlessly.

"Can I pick?" Todd growled and pulled her in closer. Her breath hitched and he smirked.

"Mhm, that's what I thought."

***

Tonight was the busiest that the shop had been, every table was packed while Toby, (y/n) and Mrs. Lovett did their best to make and serve the food.

Todd had been avoiding (y/n), which honestly kind of hurt her. Did she do something wrong? She had no clue. But she didn't intend on asking him any time soon.

"Throw the old woman out!" Mrs. Lovett shouted and Toby ran over to show her out and lock the doors.

The night went really well, the pies were a hit. Little did the suckers know they were probably eating their mail man or something.

It was later in the night, maybe around 1am, and (y/n) offered to clean up. She was alone in the kitchen doing the dishes, when Todd walked in.

"(y/n), could I speak with you?" he asked. She nodded and took a seat at one of the tables, as did he.

"Look, the reason I've been avoiding you is because I'm hiding something. And you probably won't like it." his breath was shaky.

"Look, those pies are humans. Mrs. Lovett and I have been running a business where I kill the men who I shave and she bakes them. I'm so sorry my dear."

"Well that's why I never see anyone leave." she said quietly.

She sat there for a minute, staring at the ground. "You're psychotic." she finally spoke.

"I prefer creative." he replied. She just looked at him in utter shock.

"Hey, I didn't kill anyone today!" Todd exclaimed.

"What do you want, a gold star?" (y/n) snapped. He sunk into his chair.

"Listen, I really like you. Which is actually the most annoying thing because it would be much easier to hate you. Then I could just kill you too." he said.

"Holy shit." (y/n) muttered.

"What I mean is, you should help." he smiled sweetly at her, you could almost see the passion he felt for her in his eyes.

"Whatever, I've got nothing to lose. But if you get me arrested, I'll turn YOU into a pie."